August 25, 2006 admin

25 Idioms for a Beat Down

I’ve been planning to do this one for months now. Finally, it’ll happen. That’s right–25 ways to refer to beating someone up. Add your own in the comments.
I’ll whoop your ass. It’s classic, if nothing else. Everyone knows just what you’re talking about when you say this.
I’ll beat you like you stole something. Also an oldie but goodie. Have you ever gotten your hands on someone that stole from you? I have. It’s a real beatdown that follows that.
I’ll give you the work. “The work” is a versatile term, probably deserving of its own list. But in this instance, it means you handled somebody for real. For example, Fred gave Ness the work on “Making the Band.”
I’ll stomp a mudhole in you. I’ve always understood the hole part. But a mudhole? Never got that. But if I say that, you’ll get it. Dig?
I’ll bust yo head to the white meat. For some reason, we’re satisfied getting to the white meat. Ever notice that? Either way, this is indicative of a serious beating.
I’ll knock the black/white/brown/yellow off you. That’s right…I’ll make you raceless with these hands.
I’ll beat the brakes off you. Didn’t hear this one until I got to Atlanta. I’m so glad I did.
I’ll make you read these Nikes. Props to Willie D. from the Geto Boys. If you don’t get it, just think about it.
I’ll give you a $3 haircut. Courtesy of my brother. In other words, I’ll fuck your head up.
I’ll knock some sense in you. But I’ll do so by knocking sense out of you. What a concept!
I’ll shake the sense out ya. Guess the decision of which of these last two to use depends on how much sense the victim is starting with.
I’ll light yo ass up. Another oldie but goodie. Not used nearly enough. Very versatile.
I’ll beat you like a rented mule. Which is way worse than being treated like a rental car.
I will knock the dog shit out of you. Why dog? Who knows? But most interesting is how we can knock things out of you and into you while meaning the same thing.
I’ll beat you til you say Uncle. Never understood this one, to be honest.
I’ll give you a knuckle sandwich. Another oldie but goodie.
I’ll break my foot off in yo ass. Shouts to John Amos.
I’ll mop up the floor with you. Shouts to Trick Daddy Dollars.
I’ll cave your chest in. With the corollary…
I’ll punch you so hard in the chest your shoulders’ll touch..
I’ll smack the taste out ya mouth. That’s a serious smackin’.
I’ll beat you like I’m your daddy. This is probably the most demeaning thing you can say to someone.
I’ll leave you touched. This works better when the beatdown is outsourced, but it still works.
I’ll run up the score on you. As I ran low on idioms, I decided to make one up.
I’ll whoop yo ass. Worth stating twice.
International Baba Day is tomorrow. Party tonight at the estate if you’re in Durham. Let the folk know if you wanna come enjoy some of this good potluck around 7:30. Afterparty starts around 11:30 and leads into midnight madness.

Comments (49)

  1. Tiff

    My personal favorite is “I’ll beat you like a runaway slave”. Now if somebody’s serious when they say it, just know that you are about to get a beatdown that will have you saying your name is Toby at the end! I also love the beating somebody like they stole something one. Definitely a classic. Knocking the black/brown/yellow off of you, smacking the taste outta your mouth and lighting yo’ ass up are even more frightening coming from the original source-black mothers. Even if they didn’t make it up, they made it their own. Hearing one of these lines would be enough for me to stop whatever whining/crying or other bad behavior I was doing.

  2. Rev

    Haha… real talk. Two more for thought:
    I’ll beat you like a red-headed stepchild.
    I’ll beat you like your mother should have.

  3. Run up the score is a good one, it’ll come in handy during fantasy football. Here’s my brief addendum,
    I will slap fire from yo’ ass. – A remix to “I’ll beat the hell out yo’ ass.”
    Say goodbye to your fronts. – All but eliminates another classic, “Kiss yo’ ass goodbye.”
    I will slap you silly. – If you’ve ever seen a goofy person, imagined if someone beat them that way. Frightening.

  4. Mr. Senor Evan

    Variation on the John Amos is “Don’t make me put my foot UP in your ass.”
    I know I heard it before DeNiro so here’s to “I will take you down to Chinatown.”
    My dad didn’t have any catch phrases, understood implications go a hell of a long way.
    Addendum: What were your folks like in this modern day (I’m 25, brother is 22) in regards to ass whoopins? I know we aren’t getting the same as our folks did and wonder how we’ll feel about laying down some audible love on our kids’ asses. You know at the store or mall you’ve wanted to beat someone else’s kids as a general public service.
    evan

  5. Stephanie

    I’ll bust your shit – “shit” in this instance referring to all manner of body parts. Could be extended to personal possessions.
    I’ll wreck you – corollary: “catchin’ wreck”
    I’ll knock your block off – which is about as old as the “knuckle sandwich”, but still a goodie
    “I’ll beat you like a runaway slave.” – so bad, but yet so good
    Have a blast tonight, I.B.D. is exactly three weeks from my own b-day extravaganza (no fancy title). What you know about the big 3-5?

  6. zstephaniez

    I’ll knock the stank off of you.
    I’m gonna crack you in your forehead.

  7. zstephaniez

    I’ll knock the stank off of you.
    I’m gonna crack you in your forehead.

  8. Kirk

    The “Mudhole” thing always reminds me of Stone Cold Steve Austin. That, in turn, reminds me of “Beat you like a government mule” from Jim Ross.

  9. Kirk

    The “Mudhole” thing always reminds me of Stone Cold Steve Austin. That, in turn, reminds me of “Beat you like a government mule” from Jim Ross.

  10. Neil Bisman

    In his blog Bomani said that he was unsure of where the idiom “I’ll beat you til you say uncle” came from. Often times on plantations younger blacks often referred to their elders who were not related to them as their aunts and their uncles. The reason for doing so was because most had been displaced from most if not all of their families so it gave them a sense of family and togetherness. My guess on the idiom would be that it is basically the precursor to “Who’s your daddy?” with the master beating the slave until he called him uncle. While I don’t know for sure if that is the true meaning behind it, that would be my educated guess.

  11. Neil Bisman

    In his blog Bomani said that he was unsure of where the idiom “I’ll beat you til you say uncle” came from. Often times on plantations younger blacks often referred to their elders who were not related to them as their aunts and their uncles. The reason for doing so was because most had been displaced from most if not all of their families so it gave them a sense of family and togetherness. My guess on the idiom would be that it is basically the precursor to “Who’s your daddy?” with the master beating the slave until he called him uncle. While I don’t know for sure if that is the true meaning behind it, that would be my educated guess.

  12. Kirk

    Wow. Good thinking there Neil. I guess we should be thankful you didn’t educate us on the mule comments, too?

  13. I’m partial to “I’mma twist your shit up” – don’t ask why. And no, I’ve never used it. But I’d like to. If that counts for anything.
    Which it doesn’t.
    Damn it.

  14. eauhellzgnaw

    I was always partial to “chin checked.”
    I always laugh when I hear “I’ll beat the cowboy shit outta you!”
    and “I’ll tap you on your membrane” was popular with my folks back in the day.

  15. ChappedLarry

    “I’mma wind you up” Anyone heard that one?
    Also partial to “I’ll wear you out.” But I’m a Wu-head, so “smack fire” is always a fav.

  16. Rex

    I like the food references…
    “I’m gonna open a can o’ whoop ass on ya!”
    and
    “I’m gonna give ya a servin’ of slap stew!”

  17. Rex

    I like the food references…
    “I’m gonna open a can o’ whoop ass on ya!”
    and
    “I’m gonna give ya a servin’ of slap stew!”

  18. Denis

    Bo, you have to give some love to the generic comment made by your pop/mom/uncle/gramp that made absolutely no sense at all because they were so fired up and ready to kick your ass. I have no idea what they were sayin, but I sure as hell never forget that.

  19. Denis

    Bo, you have to give some love to the generic comment made by your pop/mom/uncle/gramp that made absolutely no sense at all because they were so fired up and ready to kick your ass. I have no idea what they were sayin, but I sure as hell never forget that.

  20. dewfish

    there’s always the simple but effective “I will fuck you up.” What makes this a genius line is, the louder you say it, the better it sounds. Gotta give props to Full Force for that one. (House Party anyone?)

  21. I have always been a fan of “‘I’ll stomp a mudhole in you.” It not too serious but it gets the point across.
    And let’s not forget “Giving someone a Menace II Society beatdown”. A reference to the whoppin’ that Kane served up on in the movie of the same name.

  22. English_matty

    Anyone heard ‘I’ll give you the mother of all beatings’ I like that one

  23. Warren Zunino

    I will roll you out like wholesale carpet!
    I will beat you so hard your kids will be born dizzy!

  24. francisco

    “ill beat you like a drumstick” its for drummers, use it all the time lol

  25. Justin

    How bout, Ill knock you into next week. And when you get there, you better wait for me ya hear? I always gotta kick outta that one….haha kick….get it?

  26. Patrick Sharp Jersey

    There are some interesting points in mores therein article but I don’t be informed if I convoy all of them ticker to halfway .

  27. mike

    how about il beat u like a circus monkey or like a runaway slave or like you owe me money

  28. NC State fan

    Glad I found your page Bomani. This is great smack talk material for fantasy football.

  29. RetNavet

    My dad being the mean rotten sob that he was used to say with extreme believability that he would: “knock you into next Tuesday”

  30. Jennifer

    I’ll set you sideways.
    As in you’ll be laid out on the ground….horizontally.

  31. Michael

    My aunt use to say boy I’m gonna snatch ya up by yer bald head and jerk a Knott in yer tail

  32. Agnes

    I like the gators will eat your body before the ink dries on the missing person report that has had response and im going to beat you senseless

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