Remember when racist jokes were actually funny?

Saw this story about some cat in South Cack making a monkey joke about Michelle Obama.

A state Republican activist has admitted to and apologized for calling a gorilla that escaped from the Riverbanks Zoo Friday an “ancestor” of First Lady Michelle Obama.

A screen capture of the comment, made on the Internet site Facebook, was obtained by FITSNews, the website of South Carolina politico Will Folks.

The image shows a post by an aide to state Attorney General Henry McMaster describing Friday morning’s gorilla escape at Columbia’s Riverbanks Zoo.

Longtime SCGOP activist and former state Senate candidate Rusty DePass responded with the comment, “I’m sure it’s just one of Michelle’s ancestors – probably harmless.”

Maybe that would have been funny if it was a stallion.  But I digress.

At least he thinks she’s harmless, I guess.  I see a gorilla in my neighborhood, and I’m looking for an elephant gun.

Anyway, I must be honest — white people have started to disappoint me.

For decades — centuries even — white people were at the forefront of greating great slurs and racial jokes.  Sure, they were offensive, but I could respect how good some racial jokes are.  The problem with those jokes wasn’t that they weren’t funny.  Most times, they were.  They were just foul ball.  But whether talking about coons, wetbacks, chinks or anyone else, white folks set a standard the rest of the world is still trying to catch up with.  Check out the Racial Slur Database if you don’t believe me (133 different kinds of niggers!).

Check that thing out, man.  There’s some absolute genius in there…but the best ones are all old.  What ever happened to the good ol’ days.

But look at what’s been going on now.  There’s the fool that sent out the picture of the watermelon patch in front of the White House.  There’s the dude outside Atlanta that was selling the shirts comparing Barack to Curious George.  And now, we’ve got ol’ Rusty saying that a gorilla is really just one of Michelle Obama’s ancestors.

As someone that flips words for a living, it is my professional opinion that you guys have gotten really tired.  You’re better than that.

Is that really the best you’ve got?  Are you guys still stuck on chicken, monkey, and watermelon jokes?  With all the stuff in those damn rap videos, it’s amazing that your creativity has been so stifled that you have to keep going back to the jokes you were telling as many as 100 years ago.  I have a hard time believing that someone that’s been hearing nigger jokes his entire life couldn’t come up with anything better than something that lame.

Where’s the ingenuity that makes America so great, huh?  Where’s the progress that we strive for from generation to generation.  We hope that each generation will be more prosperous, smarter, and more creative than the generation that preceded it.

And man, if a cat from SOUTH CAROLINA can’t come up with anything better than this, we’ve got a serious problem.  No wonder our cars suck.

Maybe the problem is with the public schools, which seems not to have taught its children enough to use some critical thinking to come up with something truly compelling.  Racial humor is a perfect breeding ground for idioms, irony, and all kinds of other stuff that makes your English teacher get hot and bothered.  A few words and a little effort, and comedic gold will soon follow.  Perhaps the problem is that, since white people can’t tell these jokes in public, they don’t find it worth the time to refine the craft to the point that the jokes are actually funny.  That’s awfully disappointing.

It’s disappointing because, at some point, we’re gonna hear it.  I figure that, if you’re gonna take the chance of getting your ass kicked, you may as well make sure you’ve got a good story to tell behind it.

If you’re gonna put out something racist in public, especially if you’re a public figure, get your money’s worth.  Hit it out of the park, man.  All this drama over a lazy, tired monkey joke?  Was that really worth it?  Talk about getting a touch foul for your fourth with six minutes left in the third quarter.

Here’s my solution to this problem, and I’m going to need white people’s help with this…

You guys have got to start demanding more.

I understand that you might enjoy laughing at black folks here and there.  We all know black people get plenty of chuckles at white folks’ expense.  Shoot, we can be so good at it that white people will actually pay to hear someone tell those jokes about white people.  Damned if I’m participating in the converse.

But you know black folks…we demand cats be funny with it.  You tell a lame joke around black people, and you’re lucky if you only get booed.  You’ll feel like a monkey when you tell bad jokes, because someone’s gonna throw a banana at you, if not worse.

White folks…y’all gotta stop laughing at stuff this wack.  A picture of a watermelon patch?  Dude wouldn’t send it if you wouldn’t laugh at it.

Have some standards about yourselves.  Don’t just give your laughter away.  It’s too precious.  Demand more!  Make the folks show some creativity!  Make them work for the guffaw.  Make them find something else to laugh at.

It sounds like that white folks have run out of stuff to laugh at when it comes to black folks.  I can understand that.  That’s what happens when you don’t know anything about black people.

Here’s an idea…you can easily step your game up by, yanno, meeting some black people.  I know quite a few white people and, as a result, I know quite a few jokes.

Meet a few black folks, and you’ll have more jokes.  I know lots of black people, and lemme tell ya…there are LOTS of jokes to be told.

Lemme tell you one of the unintended things you’ll probably find when you meet those black people — that half that shit you think is soooo funny isn’t even true.  You might find out we’re a lot more like you than you think.  If your man Rusty knew some black people, he probably wouldn’t have even told that joke at all.  Woulda saved him some trouble, don’t you think?

Best case — you get better jokes to tell.  Worst case — you find out we’re not here for your amusement.

Either way it goes, you guys need to step your games up.  Now.  Stuff like this is making you guys look bad, and in more ways than one.

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