October 9, 2006

Today’s Lesson About Growing Up

Since I’ve got a real job now, I decided to go shopping for clothes.  See, I used to work at The Gap.  That meant a 50% discount on all regular priced gear.  Since I worked there, it became difficult for me to pay full price for things like jeans.  You know the game–after you’re used to the good life, it’s hard to go back.

The problem, of course, is that I stopped working there around six years ago.  So my jeans look like everyone’s favorite pair of jeans.  Except I’ve got about five of them.

So yeah, ’twas time for an upgrade.  Got tired of rotating a limited supply of shirts and acceptable pants for class, and I had a pair of jeans with a six year-old ink stain in heavy rotation.

The big change in picking up the new gear–the pants actually kinda look like they fit.  I’ve been wearing jeans about four sizes too big in the waist AND already roomy in the leg for a while.  When you’re as skinny as I am, you kinda don’t wanna draw attention to it.  Got broad shoulders, so I could get a XXL t-shirt with those jeans and be in the game.  Only when receiving a hug would my secret be totally revealed.  But hey, that meant a woman had her hands on my waist.  Take the good with the bad, baby.

So today, I’ve got on jeans only two or three sizes too big and not cut to be wide in the leg.  It’s so different, man.  Are jeans really supposed to be kinda tight in the crotch?  Is this really how jeans are supposed to fit?  What did the old folks do back in the day?  Did both dudes and chicks had to take deep breaths before buttoning up?

Adulthood is something, man.  Guess I’ll just have to get in touch with my inner skinny and deal with clothes that, yanno, fit.  It’s a new concept.

I am lookin rather fly, though.

Anyway, all I have to say about the UT-OU game–I TOLD YOU SO.  I said that Texas would maul OU on both sides of scrimmage, and that’s what happened.  This rivalry turns at scrimmage, and that’s just what happened.  I did not expect Texas’ secondary to turn into a bunch of killers, though.  You won’t see a lot of bigger hits than the ones Erick Jackson, Marcus Griffin, Michael Griffin and Tarell Brown were laying on Saturday.  And Aaron Ross had the game I’d been hearing for years that he was capable of.

But get ready–things could swing the way of OU again next year.  Texas will be replacing its three best linemen, and OU has a lot of maturing youth on its D-line.  Plus, Texas will lose the bookends on defense and, possibly, Frank Okam (we now have to consider that guys might leave early from Texas now).

That’s all I got for now.  Gotta plan a lecture and eat in an hour and a half.  I think it can be done.

And if it can’t?  Eh, I’ll come up with some professorial trick.

Do you have any idea how strange it is that I’m the teacher?  Spooky, man.

October 6, 2006

New Piece

Business…here’s a look at players who deserve to have their numbers retired.

Off to get some clothes.  Been rotating the same four shirts and like three pairs of pants all semester.

October 6, 2006

It’s The Most Wonderful Time of The Year…

When I was younger, I looked forward to Christmas more than any other day of the year.  Now that I’m kinda grown, it’s the day of the Texas/Oklahoma game.

I get anxious on Saturday morning, straightening up the house just in case anyone wants to come over and watch with me.  I like it when people watch the game with me because it stops me from getting too depressed when Texas loses.  Something about whining around comp’ny is unbecoming, so I can hold it together when I’ve got folks here.  By the afternoon, I’m glued to the tube, and I watch every minute of it.  Even during the misery of the 2000 and 2003 games–oh yeah, I’m all UT–I sat and watched every minute of the carnage.

I really do live for this.

Anyway, this year’s game is more interesting than any since 2000 because it’s the first in which the game really could go either way.  Even though I bet on the ‘Horns from ‘01-’04, I had to convince myself that they’d win.  I even did a post in ‘04 about the game that makes me laugh in retrospect.  I knew then that Adrian Peterson was the best freshman running back I’d ever seen, and I knew that he’s have a field day.

And he did, leading Oklahoma to a 12-0 victory that was just as thorough as the 63-14 beating in ‘00 and the 65-13 slaughter of ‘03.

But this year’s different.  Vince is gone, but Texas has the best collection of backs and receivers in America.  Oklahoma, on the other hand, has the best back in America.  Texas has clear advantages at scrimmage on both sides of the ball, but it still has Greg Davis calling plays.  And while Texas has all those players on both lines, Oklahoma has lots of talent on its defensive line.  Will it show up?  Hard to think it would ocnsidering it hasn’t done much all year.  But then someone could argue its due.  Tough call.

My prediction–Texas by double-digits.  The differential at scrimmage is too much.  However, anyone that tries to predict a game like this knows that logic’ll only take you so far.  There’s no telling what will happen, and I say that knowing that I’m uttering a friggin’ cliche.  Anyway, my real fear is that everyone will know what will happen when Greg Davis is calling plays.  Typically, everybody does.
Still, ‘Horns win this one.  D-Nunn, send me an e-mail and I’ll give you my address.

Another great thing about this game–well-documented history.  If you go to the websites for The Daily Oklahoman, The Austin American-Statesman, The Dallas Morning News or pretty much any other paper that serves Texas or Oklahoma, you’ll find some great spreads on the history of the rivalry.  I especially recommend checking out the Dallas Morning News’ piece on the spying controversy of ‘76.
Anyway, back later with the link to a new piece.  I hadn’t intended to post this morning, but I was thinking about this game too much and needed to share.  Sorry ’bout that.

October 3, 2006

The Real Lesson From Mark Foley

I’m avoiding looking at Foley with moral outrage because this only news because Foley was attempting to seduce boys, not girls.  Were these pages smokin’ hot 17 year olds, there would be a few people on the “what’s the big deal?  The age of concent varies from state to state!” kick.

But read this right fast.

The real lesson to learn is one that only applies but so much in this case.  But the lesson still is important–watch who your kids talk to on the Internet.  Not just anonymous stuff like chat rooms, but everyone.  There’s something about chatting that compels people to say all kinds of things they wouldn’t necessarily say in person.  Sitting in your own house, in your own zone and armed with the ability to say “I was just playin’” seems to make people feel more comfortable saying out there stuff.

So keep an eye out, please.  And teenagers, here’s one for you–be very wary of a man with gray hair asking for your screen name.  Especially if he’s your boss.  Dig?

October 2, 2006

Last Night’s Flavor of Love

Business…check out the Charles Barkley World Tour.

So last night’s Flavor of Love might have been the best ever.  Not so much because there was lots of screamin, hollerin and fighting.  It was just because New York’s mama showed up.

Here’s the best I can do on making it clear what I like so much about when she shows up.

Almost all season, FoL is like an Ace Ventura-era Jim Carrey movie.  In those movies, it’s always obvious that Carrey’s characters are batshit bonkers.  But everyone in the flick just laughs it off.  Never does it get mentioned that Ace or whoever is out of his friggin mind.  Not once.  And there’s no way someone could be that nuts and no one bat an eye.  Really, how many friends would Ace Ventura really have?

But when New York’s mama shows up, the movie turns into The Cable Guy (which is still my favorite Carrey movie).  The Cable Guy was the first Carrey movie where he played one of these bonkers characters and everyone looks around and says, “yo, what’s up with yo boy?”  It was the first of those Carrey movies that really had a dose of reality.  And to me, reality is one of the funniest things going.  Also one of the most tragic, but that’s neither here nor there.

So when New York’s mother comes on the show and is totally mortified that her daughter is embarrassing her on national television by cuttin’ up behind Flavor Fuckin Flav, the show gets a needed dose of realism.  For this to work and not look entirely staged, someone has to step up and say, “this is crazy.”

And that’s what New York’s mama is.  It’s perfect.

That said, I’m sure that her “I’m gonna die soon” schpiel was manufactured by the producers.  The way it flowed didn’t seem realistic at all.  But the rest?  I really think all of this makes her wanna vomit.

And her simp husband?  He’s just happy that he gets to sleep in the house.

Last FoL note–am I think only person that thought Flav looked like a real live minstreal in that white tux?  I was waiting on him to shake his hands on one knee.

October 2, 2006

Radio This Morning, Piece This Afternoon

Well, I’ve been up since 4 working on a piece that’ll run today–The Charles Barkley World Tour, a take off Mike Tyson’s planned exhibition tour.  Assuming I can stay awake, I’ll be appearing with Joe Ovies on 850 The Buzz/620 The Bull in Durham to talk about the Carolina/Miami game.  Check it out if you’re local.

The best part, though, is that I saw that Hurricanes–the ones in Raleigh–GM Jim Rutherford was on the show a few days ago.  I sure hope that Jim doesn’t blackball The Buzz like he did Team 1040 in Vancouver.  Seems Jim was offended that they had some writer on that show.

Later on…