April 19, 2007

Calm Down, People

Business…respect the NFL’s gangsta.

Police–calm down.

Dude–calm down.

Now, a funny.  A couple of teenagers stopped by my door to get “votes” for some leadership contest they were in.  They said they had to show they were able to present themselves respectfully and professionally to get the votes.  I was down to help them out.

Until they told me they needed me to buy some books.  Lil’ suckers sandbagged me.  They ain’t want votes.  They wanted paper.

Anyway, I told them I was a strapped for cash, so I couldn’t help them out.  They gon’ learn not to come in the middle of the month.

Their reply?

“We don’t need cash.  Coins will work.”  Dude said this while he did a swiping motion with his hand.

Nice try, pimpin.

8 Comments »

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1. Some girl tried running that bullshit on me a few weeks ago. Thought if she said “inner city” as much as possible, I’d feel sorry/guilty/obligated to buy crappy magazines @ high prices. Bad assumption, sweetie.

   Comment by Kirk — April 19, 2007 #

2. I’m 26, but look young enough to still pull out the “wish I could help, my folks aren’t home.”

   The best is when they know that I’m technically lying, but have no idea what to come back with.

   How many Youth Coalitions/Teams/Extravaganza/Foundation/Action Comittee groups are there? Same generic ass people standing on the media asking for change on the weekends.

   I donate to the Humand Fund. Money, for people.

   Comment by nerditry — April 19, 2007 #

3. My local Safeway ALWAYS has kids out front selling bakery items for their church, or girl scouts selling cookies. I always come back with the line, “I already bought from one of you the other day.” It usually works.

   Comment by Rex — April 19, 2007 #

4. On the “Dude–Calm Down” link, it reminds me of how in the 80s, the term “going postal” was born seemingly overnight.

   I used to frequent the Edmond, OK post office only a year before the first p.o. shootings began (there), and I literally cringe everytime I hear that term.

   As for the dude in the car dealership, he deserved what he got for saying something so stupid.

   Comment by Rex — April 19, 2007 #

5. Its dope that vitaminwater is getting some shine. I love that stuff. Its grown-folk drank.

   Comment by Left Coast Vic — April 19, 2007 #

6. For some reason, little kids are afraid of me. Maybe it’s because I always answer the door with my shirt off and my 9mm in hand. It’s nothing personal, little dudes, I just don’t know y’all like that.

   Comment by Cedric125 — April 20, 2007 #

7. >> Maybe it’s because I always answer the door with my shirt off and my 9mm in hand.

   (sigh) There’s a joke to be made here, but it’s just too easy…

   Comment by Rex — April 20, 2007 #

8. @ Cedric125: Thank you so much for that laugh! I think soda came out my nose! ;)

   Comment by Alove — April 20, 2007 #

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