June 18, 2007

Spooky Spooky Spooky

Now, I don’t scare easy.  You should know that.

However, I find it necessary to mention that there’s very little as scary as a white haired woman driving a Buick while wearing those huge wraparound shades.  You know, the ones that don’t let any light in.  You know, the ones that scream out “my eyes are so bad that I should live my life in a basement cuz the sun makes my eyes hurt and everything look white like I’m about to die!”

Saw that a second ago on the way back from the UPS Store.  I didn’t like that one bit.

8 Comments »

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1. I got a Flying DutchBuick story too. Age: 9 years. Height: 4′ 8”. Status: kicking my new rollerblades. I was a few houses down from mine and going back and forth on the section of the sidewalk where a tree root had pushed the concrete upwards high enough to make a decent jump.

   I was building up speed just before the jump when I notice this gimungous magenta Buick zip down the street towards me. It is going about 40 in the 30 and I don’t see no driver. There’s a white pair of hands clenching the steering wheel and no head above it.

   I stop on a dime and I watch the thing pass by and I still don’t see a driver. Then I get back to the business of hopping three inches over some broken concrete. Five minutes later, the same car comes back, going the other way at maybe 50 mph, and still no driver.

   Five minutes later, the same car came back again, headed the original direction at 40 again. This time it was swerving kinda crazily past the center line only to correct; this happens three times in my sight.

   I see one ghostly hand on the wheel and a road map blocking half the windshield. I stood there for a bit, considered what was going on and then got the heck out of there to go eat Flavor Pops and not get run over.

   Comment by Thaps — June 18, 2007 #

2. Another coincidence…

   I happen to work @ a UPS Store and I see this all the time. Old people stumble in, can’t walk, can’t write, can barely open the door, make you fill out forms and write notes, have you find the money in their stack of cash & change and then stumble out to their Buick or Cadillac and DRIVE away.

   I hate old people.

   Comment by Brew City Drew — June 18, 2007 #

3. When I’m old, if I get there, I’m driving a Chevy Aveo-type car. Small and controllable.

   Comment by Brew City Drew — June 18, 2007 #

4. As a kid I grew up directly next door to an “old folks home.” I would see relatives of the occupants come by for visits and park on the sidewalk, on the yard, in the street, etc., and one time “through the wall.” Some of them should’ve been in there.

   It was an “interesting” place for a kid. My little sister and I had free reign of the corridors. It was my personal playground. I’ve seen things no kid should see. The memories, and smell of that place, still haunt me.

   Comment by Rex — June 18, 2007 #

5. Thaps, you’re story is SCARY brah… The way that phantom driver kept coming back… (shivers)

   Comment by Rex — June 18, 2007 #

6. Gotta love/fear the Terminator Locs. If only elderly drivers were androids sent back in time. That would make things more interesting.

   Comment by eauhellzgnaw — June 18, 2007 #

7. My grandfather is 82. He said he still drives “just short distances.” He lives in the country, but I still pray for all who may come anywhere near him.

   Comment by ETS — June 19, 2007 #

8. not the Terminator Locs…old people driving scares the hell out of me. Especially if I’m trying to get my opening-sequence-of-Shaft on.

   This one time I was on I-10 bout to cross the state line into Mississippi. So I pass this Chevy Corsica..all I saw was a pair of hands and a real-life stunt double of that Moleman guy from teh Simpsons…and he damn near hit me….the senile bastid!!!!

   Comment by Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction — June 19, 2007 #

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