September 26, 2007

Everyone hates swastikas

Business…check out this morning’s Jump.

Seriously, does any symbol in this world get met with more disgust than the swastika?  A three year-old could accidentally make a swastika with some Legos and maybe, just maybe will have to go to court.

September 25, 2007

Scorpion and Sub-Zero are getting their alibi straight

SSP…chat with the folk at 3 ET.
This may be the funniest thing I’ve seen in the ‘07.

But can you really be a ninja if you ain’t got a smoke bomb or something?  Dressing like a ninja don’t make you a ninja, no more than wearing a Jordan jersey on the court entitles you to a triple-double.  I’m sure a mask or stocking would have sufficed.

This does, however, remind me of a discussion I once had with my brother.  What would you do if someone tried to rob you with some nunchucks?

Think about it.  You’re walking down the street, then someone grabs you and asks you for your money.  You look up, and all you see are chucks.  Chances are you wouldn’t take it seriously.  How preposterous is that?  Further, nunchucks don’t register in our “oh shit” list of weapons.  Guns, knives, bottles…those register.  Nunchucks?  Most of us have only seen those in movies.

And while you’re thinking about all those things, you’ve lost two teeth.  From one flex of the wrist from the robber.

Maybe being an ninja’s the move for the 21st Century Thief.

September 24, 2007

The Evolution of a Wardrobe

Business…here’s today’s Jump.

So, I work from home.  That means I don’t have to get dressed too often.  Not walking around here in the b-day suit, but often just snatch up a t-shirt and shorts and get to work.

The problem is that I’ve got a documented penchant for inappropriate t-shirts.  I don’t find them to be inappropriate, but others do…which means they’re probably inappropriate.  Plus, I get a kick out of the occasional funny look.

But uhhhh, I think I’m getting old.  Went to the BBQ joint around the corner the other day wearing the shirt I’d been wearing that day around the house (and maybe the one before…and the day after).  The dude preparing my food was looking at me so crazy, and I couldn’t figure out why.

Well, I guess he’d never seen a shirt that said “I (heart) Vaginas,” something I picked up in support of the Vagina Monologues at Carolina a couple of years ago.  And also something I picked up in support of funny looks.

But, yanno, maybe it’s time to let that go.  However, I’ll never trash my red t-shirt with a picture of a monkey on the front that says “spank me.”  That there’s classic.

September 20, 2007

This is scary

I’m watching Morgan/Hampton on ESPNU, and the play-by-play man sounds just like me.  I just felt the need to share that.

September 19, 2007

Dude just don’t give up…

Once again, Alan Keyes is running for President.  This will be the third time he gets his ass handed to him.

That’s a bit unfair for me to say.  I don’t believe for a minute that Keyes has believed that he would win any of his previous runs for the White House, nor do I think he figured he could really derail the building Barack Obama Express.  Getting on him for losing those races is kind of like picking on someone because he got beat up by 15 people at the same time.

But if you decide to mess with them 15 dudes, just asking them to stomp you, then there are a few chuckles to be had.  Nothing makes me laugh as hard as watching someone walk into an ass whoopin’.

I mean, I just don’t get it.  Keyes is ridiculously intelligent, but he’s a joke to most on each side of the political spectrum.  He gets overly bombastic about the wrong things (refer to his singing of Negro spirituals on TV during his race with Obama), and he’s a little too smart.  He’s good to talk over your dome.  People don’t like that.  At all.

So now, we’re gonna have to listen to that dude at some point.  I mean, we don’t have to, but it’ll probably come up.

But unlike in the race with Obama, no one in the media will care to listen to him.  He’ll be as fringe as fringe can be.

I just wanna know what dude’s accomplishing with this.  And who are the people that contribute to his campaign fund.  Why don’t they just give that money to me?  Or put it in a stack by the leaves in an outhouse?  I just don’t understand.

September 13, 2007

Questions

So I figure today’s a good time to do what’s become my once-a-month post of whatever.  If I’m ever asked to show how my life has changed professionally in the last year, I’ll tell someone to check my archives here.  The frequency just ain’t what it was, and it’s because life mandates that I work on its schedule.  The blog works on mine.  Gotta find a way for my schedule to give more to Virtual Bomaniland.

BTW, my primary function at the job now is doing the Jump on Mondays and Wednesdays.  I’m going to put a link on the sidebar here that’ll let you get to the Jump every day, and then you can work it out from there.  Also figure I’ll put a link to my archive page there, at least for the next couple of months or so.

So, while I’ve got your attention, I’ve got a few questions.

1.  Why does it cost about $20 or so to drive from D.C. to New York?  Seriously, it’s cheaper to take the Chinatown bus than to drive if you only take tolls into account.  That’s before we get to gasoline.  Not having to pump my own in New Jersey simply isn’t adequate compensation for my troubles.

2.  Anybody heard the Fiddy?  He kept it out of the hands of people that normally sell me music, so I haven’t heard it.  I did see a projection saying he’ll sell 600K this week, 200K behind Kanye.  Thought that might have happened, but I wasn’t sure.  The general public–read: white people–is a bit unpredictable when it comes to what hip hop they’ll like and what they won’t, and when they will and and won’t like it.  They fooled me again this go ’round.

3.  Now that we’ve got some distance from both cases, who’s dumber–Michael Vick or Larry Craig?

4.  Did I thank you for saying happy birthday?  If I didn’t, lemme know so I can rectify that.

Tomorrow’s a rare off day, so I’ll probably be back around.  Got a piece going up, too.

Speaking of which…

Old business…here’s a look I did about Michigan fans last week.  I feel like I’m missing something, but I don’t remember.  Check the archive page.

September 4, 2007

Kanye…You Did It Again

So I was on the way back to the mainland from my brother’s wedding in St. Thomas when I decided to listen to Kanye West’s new record.  Seemed a good time, since I had a 4 hour layover and no juice in my cell phone and I’d already written a draft on a piece I hope to run this week.

The other day, someone asked whether Kanye was the greatest artist in hip hop history.  I thought that was a bit much, but I’m not comfortable dismissing that notion.  He and Just Blaze changed the game with their work on The Blueprint, and Kanye’s proven more than just a capable rapper.  Granted, as a rapper, he’s really not often much more than capable, but his artistic vision is incredible.  His approach to making albums stands in defiance of the current rap-by-numbers approach, yet he makes records accessible enough for just about everyone to appreciate his obviously bougie story.  It’s genius at work.

But the greatest artist?  I’ll have to think about that a little later.

In the meantime, let’s think about Graduation, his latest effort.  It’s the heat.  Is it as good as Late Registration or College Dropout?  I’m not sure.  However, I’m thinking this is his ATLiens.  A lot of people pick on me for saying ATLiens is my least favorite OutKast record, but that’s the truth.  That doesn’t mean it’s not incredible.  I’d just like to listen to the others before that one.

(Actually, lemme calm down…that was my thought before Idlewild.  Hold your horses, AD and Alldaydre.  I’m also not saying this record from Kanye is as good as ATLiens…I so get tired of explaining that one.)

Anyway, this is his ATLiens because it’s crazy cohesive, very introspective, and incredibly consistent.  Unlike the other Kast records, ATLiens has no skippers.  Same goes for Graduation, though it doesn’t have anything as incredible as “We Major” “Never Let You Down.”  I’m feeling the samples, even though it seems Kanye’s gotten bored with sampling black people.  That said, I’m always okay with a dope Daft Punk sample.

I haven’t listened to this enough to give a real on thorough review, but I can tell you that Kanye’s now given us three incredible records, three different records, and three we’ll be able to listen to for a while.

And finally, something that most of us that have been listening to Kanye tracks since the first leaked College Dropout came out…he finally released “Home.”

Now, here’s why I point this out.  Leaving “Home” and “My Way” off College Dropout was unforgivable.  Just about every change Kanye made to CD after it leaked worked.  Going to 808s on “Workout Plan” was the right move.  “All Falls Down” was actually better with Syleena Johnson singing than with the Lauryn sample.  “Never Let Me Down” went from good to classic.  So did “Family Business.”

That said, “My Way” was the best song on the record, and “Home,” an allegorical ode to Chicago, was right there with it.  It needed to be remastered, but it was an incredible cut.

Then it got left off (as did “My Way”).

This time, it’s got Chris Martin singing the hook instead of John Legend–a different hook, in fact–and it’s got a whole new beat.  I was so surprised and glad to hear it that I started smiling in the airport.  It was that welcome.

Then, I realized Kanye was fuckin with us last record.

So, when reports about the track listing for Late Registration came out, some magazines–notably XXL–said it would have “My Way” and “Home,” which made me very happy.  Then the record came out and it was one track called “My Way Home.”  It was a banger, but it wasn’t what I wanted.  Kanye knew we wanted that, and he decided to mess with us.  Chump.

So this time, he gives us “Homecoming” and fakes us out, finally giving us a mastered version of “Home.”  That was mean, lil’ man.  Real, real mean.

But I gotta give it to Kanye.  His arrogance can be grating, but damned if he doesn’t do his best to live up to his press.  He is the illest right now, the one guy you have to check out to see what he’s gonna do next.  He’s an incredible producer, but he’ll still reach out to get help (see all the credits for Toomp on this record).  He’s a whiny little brat, but so is Elton John, and I’ve never held that against him.  Plus, it ain’t like I’m married to him.

So check the record.  I’ll give it a few more listens and give a better look at it before too long.