October 31, 2007

Because I know you’re curious…

The order is as follows…

The Blueprint

Reasonable Doubt

American Gangster

The Black Album

Vol. 1

Vol. 3

Dynasty

Kingdom Come

Vol. 2

Blueprint 2

October 31, 2007

Bo’s in a book, kinda…

Business…did the Jump this morning.

Also, check out the new Boondocks compilation in stores.  Contained in its pages is a quote from an interview Aaron McGruder did with me a few years ago.  Not a biggie, but it’s pretty cool to me.  Give it a look.

I’ve been working on a post about my high school reunion, and I just can’t make it sound right as of now.  It’ll be up before too long, I reckon.

Oh, copped the new Guitar Hero.  I need to hurry up and get to the good songs.  I’ll be damned if i paid money to play a song by Poison.

October 25, 2007

What if Katrina hit San Diego?

Yo, did the Jump yesterday.  Feels like today since I haven’t been asleep in 24 hours, but such is the game sometimes.

Now, click here.  Two points…

1.  This is way nicer than the Superdome was during Katrina.  And trust me, those people could have used a good Swedish.

2.  Yoga, massages, buffets, bands, and ain’t nobody gotta go to work?  That smell…it ain’t a forest fire, if you get my drift.

October 23, 2007

Wedding warning

Generally, men are pretty hands off with weddings.  In fact, most men are advised to be hands off with weddings, so as how to avoid drawing back just a nub.

But no matter how he’s wired, at some point, a man has to stand up and say “you must be crazy.”  Sometimes, he’s got to look at his lady and say, “no way in the world, baby.”

Contained within this link is one of those times.  Scroll down and view the madness.

When I was a kid, there was one cardinal sin in male-female interactions–never do you dare embarrass a man in front of his friends.  Somehow, that’s worse than embarrassing a man in public.  Not that public embarrassment is cool, but there’s no way to say “you embarrassed me in front of my friends” without it coming out “how you gon’ embarrass me in front my friends?”

Well…if that cake don’t count as embarrassing you in front of your friends, your mama–hell, maybe even your boss–I don’t know what does.

October 18, 2007

Legitimately Good Tasting Liquor

After swigging that Quil–which did the JOB last night–I got to thinking about liquor.  I don’t drink nearly as much as I did in college because, quite honestly, I’m not in college.  There’s no skipping work to get drunk like there might have occasionally been for class.

(One of the beauties of going to college on scholarship is saying things like this about your collegiate experience without being told that you wasted your parents’ money with such behavior.  Viva faux-independence!)

But I got to thinking of those days and some of the things I learned in bartending school.  When we’d drink in college, the Seuss would always take a sip of the first one and say “it’s good, but it ain’t quite nasty enough.”  If it wasn’t nasty, it wasn’t right.  My God, I’m so glad I grew up.

Got past that when I started putting price floors on my liquor purchases.  Case in point–if I can get this whiskey for less than $20 a fifth regular price, I think I need to leave that shit alone.

That led to drinking things that actually, yanno, tasted good.  And then learning to mix drinks, it became possible for me to understand how people think liquor tastes good.  A lot of that stuff is just absolutely nasty, but there is some good stuff.  For that reason, I’m going to order the non-licquers from least tasty to most.

N/A Irish Whisky.  I’ve never been curious about it, to be honest.  I’m black and Southern.  Crown and Jack will suffice.

Scotch.  I just can’t make the scotch work.  I’ve tried, but it just hasn’t worked for me.  Makes me wanna smack my tongue on the roof of my mouth.

Gin.  Gin’s nasty.  It doesn’t taste remotely like anything.  You can’t say it’s sweet or sour or anything else.  It just tastes like gin.  The drinks you mix with gin don’t make good tasting drinks.  It just makes the gin less nasty, allowing people to get ready to fight.  Seriously, anyone you roll with that religiously drinks gin–save for one gentleman I know in California–will get you in trouble.  You can’t afford gin if you ain’t got some bail money.

(It should be noted that Bombay Sapphire is excluded from this entire discussion.  It does good work.  But that Bumpy Face?  Pssssh.)

Brandy.  By definition, brandy is cheap.  If it’s good brandy, it’s called cognac.  If it’s not, it’s called Erk and Jerk.  Or the Easy Jesus.  Or a really bad headache.

Rum.  While I’m all down for stuff tasting good, rum’s just too sweet.  I do like to feel like a man when I’m drinking, and rum makes me feel like an extra in a Sean Paul video.

Vodka.  This is the trickiest one of the bunch.  At it’s best, vodka doesn’t taste like anything.  Just enough kick to let you feel like you’re drinking, which is something people like to be reminded of sometimes.  But at it’s worst–or Absolut–it’s used best as a germ killer.  Try it on your face after a close shave.

Bourbon.  Yeah, it’s a bit sour, but it mixes well with colas and ginger ales, which is a really good thing.  Another one that just makes you feel like you’re drinking.  It’s also cool because it’s one of the liquors that will allow you to say “hmmm, I can taste what they man about why it’s important to use good barrels.”

Whisky.  Yeah, I’m only talking about that good Purple Sack.  If you don’t know, you don’t.

Tequila.  It’ll light you ablaze, but goodness you can’t say it doesn’t have a distinct flavor.  I can’t describe it.  If you don’t like it, I understand.  But if you do…well, there’s a chance you get a kick out of licking salt off drunk girls’ stomachs.  Notice I said you–yes, you–and not me on that last one.

Cognac.  The nectar of the Gods.  Kirk was so kind as to buy me a bottle of Remy XO for my housewarming.  I still have some left because I don’t want to say it’s all gone.  It’s smooth, it’s distinct, it’s rich, it’s warm, and it’s screams out “cool.”  When I bartended, in fact, a dude used to come up and order Crown in a brandy sniifter.  He wanted to have his ordinary cat–though a good ordinary cat–drink, but all the cool of Cognac.  Oh yeah, this is what’s hot out here in these streets.

October 15, 2007

NyQuil ain’t so bad…

Had a case of the sniffles, which has become a touch of “I don’t feel good,” which will become bad strain of “where’s my fiancee when I need her” if I don’t get some sleep.  So you know what time it is.

NyQuil.

Now, I’m a little wary of NyQuil because of a bad experience I had with it back in ‘97 (FYI, don’t ever take NyQuil at 11, wake up at 5:30, drive at 6:45, and not eat at any point in the sequence).  But I’m gonna need to sleep tonight if I’m going ot have any chance of staving off this ickiness.

My preference has historically been for the caplets, since they have no taste.  NyQuil has always tasted like, if I spilled some on the floor, that spot would be super shiny.  Anyway, for some reason, I’ve got the liquid form here.  And I can’t find the little shot glass that game with it, so I’m guesstimating how many spoonfulls to take.  I voted for “a lot.”

But that also meant repeatedly having to taste NyQuil.  That’s wack.  But eh, gotta play to win, right?  I made it work.

Know what?  It wasn’t so bad.

Then I realized I hadn’t slowly drank NyQuil since I was about 17.  That would be years before I got turned on to drinking.

And hell, if I can convince myself that gin tastes good, the same can be done with NyQuil.  Tonight, I realized I’d pulled off that feat.

See, folks, this is a way that alcohol keeps you healthy.  Outside of red wine’s good effects on the heart, that’s the only way.

October 15, 2007

T.I.’s in trouble…and he still owes me $25

Business…here’s the Jump and a quick recap on a season’s chaos in college football.

In case you need to know how good the football games were on Saturday, just know this–I completely forgot about the Devin and Del show.  Me forgetting a Devin show?  Good, good games.

Also, T.I. has given Michael Vick a run for his money on the foolishness scale for 2007.  Goodness gracious.

$12,000 worth of guns?  $12,000?  Could somebody–and I know one of you can–tell me what kind of firepower that kind fo money will get you?  Cuz I just can’t imagine paying that much money for some heat.

October 12, 2007

Calling My True Friends

So I’m too lazy to go through my address book, so I’ll just post if here and see who hits me on e-mail.

Anybody in the Triangle trying to go to the Devin the Dude and Del show at Cat’s Cradle tomorrow night?

October 8, 2007

Never Seen This Before…

Went to get some Jamaican food today. For some reason, the Panamanians that own the place–not making that up–were taking way too long to take my order. I’m not sure why, but it may have had something to do with the cat ahead of me in line.

I don’t know what happened, but by the time I got to the register to pay for my patties, the cat at the register was saying “I’ll give you your money back.” Dude replied with, “my bad, but I ain’t paying that much.”

It appeared that the gentleman ahead of me in line, paid for his food. They ran the credit card and everything. Then, after he found out the total and agreed to submit payment, he decided the food cost too much. He then asked for his money back…which he received.

Then what did he do? He sat down and ate his food!

He ordered. He paid. He whined. He was refunded. And he sat and ate?

I have never seen anything like that at a West Indian restaurant. You can’t even get away with that at Bahama Breeze, and you can get a chain to refund your money by saying the ice wasn’t cold enough.

Shoot, I gotta remember that trick.

October 8, 2007

Stupidity is Funny

Business…here’s that Jump.

I read something really stupid this morning.  I don’t remember what it was, but it left me with the desire to share a story about one of the dumbest things ever done.

My dorm freshman, the infamous and dearly departed James P. Brawley Hall at Clark Atlanta University (can I get an MOB?), was always off the hook.  Most of the freshman males were in the same building, creating the possibility of great hilarity.  I’ve got plenty of stories from my year, but this time I’ll share a classic from two years after me.

So, since college freshmen have way too much free time, dudes would stage boxing matches at night in front of the dorm.  People would come and watch, particularly women who just like seeing stuff like that.  And, to accomodate the masses, a dude on the first floor would turn his speakers outside and DJ.

Since he was the DJ, he always had a mic.  What follows is why microphones in public places are always a bad idea.

Dudes were getting on the mic saying whatever.  Then, this dude Clayton–I think that was his name–grabbed the mic.

“Hey yo, this yo boy Pimp C.  Just wanna let y’all know if y’all want that fie green, come to room (insert number here).”

And someone did come–the police.  Right across from the patch of grass the matches took place on was the damn police station.