December 31, 2007

So I was playing Scrabble with Moms yesterday…

…and the game had gotten kinda tight.  I needed that win after the epic beatdown she laid upon me in the first game.  Next thing I know, she plays “coolie.”  I’d never heard that one.  I was hoping she was asleep at the wheel and trying to play “collie” so I could pop up with the most fun sort of challenge–the one you don’t even have to go to the book to check.

So I asked her what that was, and she said it was “a Chinese person that worked on the railroads.”  Maybe I got something wrong with me, but that sounds like a slur.  I wasn’t going to get righteously indignant with her about that–well, not really, but definitely playfully–but I sure thought slurs were banned from Scrabble a few years ago.  And, to think, they did that before I ever got the chance to play “kraut-mick” and use it in the sentence “well, my kraut-mick friend…”

So we check the dictionary, and “coolie” was there.  And how was it defined?

“Oriental laborer.”

So not only are slurs cool in Scrabble now, they’re defined by what amount to slurs.  Funny stuff, if you ask me.

December 28, 2007

I Guarantee…

…that this kid is The Man ’round his way.  You won’t be able to tell him nothin’ til he graduates.

Back on the radio today.  Live feed here.

December 27, 2007

Watching the Holiday Bowl…

…makes me wonder what happened to BJ.com’s favorite Sun Devil, Shot Clock.

December 27, 2007

FYI

If you just bought a membership to the gym for the new year, just give that back and wait until you get a Wii.  I drank a couple of glasses of wine and played this wii, and it kinda did me in.

Only solution–more drinking!

December 26, 2007

Spend the Holidays Listening to Baba

Yo, I’m hosting Dave Glenn’s show on 850 The Buzz in Raleigh this week.  Catch me today and every day ’til Friday from 3-6.  Live feed is available here.

December 25, 2007

My First Parental Christmas Moment

(Don’t mistake the title of this…Baba has no children, regardless of what “Baba” translates to in English.)

Usually, my mother asks for something small for Christmas.  Socks and stuff like that.  It was always cool because she was the most economical gift-receiver in my circle.  We could make her happy for less than $20, in most cases.

This year, she wanted a Wii.  She went to someone’s house and played the bowling and tennis games, and that was enough to get her hooked.

So, as if it wasn’t enough that she now wanted something that cost more than two bills, she wanted something that was impossible to find.  Great.

My brother and I had people in about four different states on the hunt.  We had my cousin go to Nintendo World in Rockefeller Plaza, and she had no luck.  Kirk thought he’d heard of a place that had them, and he got there just a half hour late.  Someone won a Wii in an office drawing at his gig, and he even offered to pay list price and then some for it, but the guy had kids.  No dice.  I’ve got a buddy that works at Game Stop, and he couldn’t help.  The Wii mission looked a dead end.

Then, on Christmas Eve, I went to my cousin Keenan’s house.  We’re watching “Dodgeball” on FX, and I look down and see a Wii.  My cousin then tells me that he doesn’t even play it.  I then say how badly my mother wants a Wii for Christmas…and had a Eureka! moment.

I got my cousin to let me borrow his Wii until we could get a Wii from the store.  Then, I wrapped up the Wii and put it under the tree.  Moms thought we had no Wii, and now we had one.  I must say, I was proud of myself for coming up with that one.

(I’m sure some of you are thinking it’s bootleg for me to give my mother a borrowed Wii for Christmas.  I’ll just say this–how many people you know that brought a Wii home on Christmas Eve?  That’s what I thought.

Also, keep in mind that only a mother could love a borrowed gift.  Good thing it was for me I was getting something for my mother.)

My brother and his wife didn’t make it in until the afternoon, so we couldn’t do presents in the morning like we usually do.  They got here, then we ate wit a bunch of family friends.  Decent stuff.  Soon after, a slew of cousins–which isn’t used literally here, but might as well be–fall through, including Keenan.  That was extra cool, because he could be here for the gift presentation.

Then his sister spilled the beans.  She asked my mother how she was enjoying the Wii, somehow ignoring the massive collection of unopened presents under the tree.  Another cousin’s wife told on us, also.

My brother then quoted “Glengary Glen Ross”…

“Don’t open your mouth if you don’t know the play.”

I swear, this was the coolest thing I’d ever come up with.  I had my out-of-the-movies “I saved Christmas” moment.  I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t disappointing not to get the moment where she opened the Wii.  I even tucked the present at the very back of the tree, in the corner, so that it would be the last gift.  One of those moments I ain’t getting back.

But I got one that’ll last a while.  We got the Wii hooked up, and a few people started playing the bowling game.  Moms played first.

This was the first time I’ve ever gotten to watch her play with her toys on Christmas.  I don’t think I ever looked that happy about a toy.  For further proof, I offer the evidence that I went and saw my buddy’s niece this morning, and she showed me her toys before asking me to play a game with her that involved bouncing a balloon off the top of a shoebox a set number of times.

I mean, she jumped up and down after she rolled a strike.  She high-fived people, and that ain’t quite how she’s wired.  At some point, she screamed out “I want one!” in reference to the Wii.  She was thrilled.

I haven’t opened a single gift of my own yet, but I can’t remember a Christmas moment like that one.

December 25, 2007

Another Reason To Love BET

So I’m trying to navigate this awkward time before dinner comes but after hunger has arrived in force.  Started flipping channels, and somehow felt compelled to turn to BET.

They’re showing “Lean on Me.”  And because I’m such a lucky bastard, I turned right for the scene where Crazy Joe gets that kid on the roof and tells him to jump because, “you smoke crack, don’t ya?!?!”  Fantastic unintentional comedy if there’s ever been unintentional comedy.

But uhhhh…since when did “Lean on Me” become a Christmas movie?

December 24, 2007

So I’m riding down the street…

…and I saw what appeared to be a Pontiac Grand Am on 24s.  Not sure about the model of the Pontiac, but I’m fairly certain about the rims.  That’s because there was a decal on the fender that said “24″.”

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Atlanta!

The other thing that threw me off…

I’ve been begging for the universe to put a Popeyes closer to my house.  I’m tired of driving to West End or Stewart Avenue just to get that sweet Cajun yardbird.  It’s what I need.

So why is it that they’ve put a friggin’ Bojangles down the street, but no Popeyes?  Bojangles, if you’re not aware, is imitation Popeyes.  Always has been, always will be.

And they give us that before Popeyes.  Keep in mind that’s the first Bo’s I’ve ever seen in Atlanta.

The universe don’t love me, clearly.

Merry Christmas, everyone.  We’ll talk more after the holiday.

December 21, 2007

Dammit!

I’m grinding, on the best roll I’ve been on in years, and there is no one here to keep me entertained on IM.  Where are you people???

(Oh, in bed because it’s 3 a.m., meaning it’s an ungodly hour everywhere in America…carry on.)

December 20, 2007

Does it make me weird…

…that I thought I wanted to listen to Lenny Kravitz’s “It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over,” then instantly realized what I was really in the mood for was “Wipe Me Down?”

B-A-D-A-Z-Z-THAT’S-ME!!!

(How did you know I really don’t want to be working right now?)