July 5, 2008

If there’s anything I hate…

…it’s a beggin’ ass pizza man.

I understand that delivering pizzas isn’t the greatest job, especially now that gas is $4 a gallon.  Honestly, I don’t know how you can turn a profit if you’re not driving a hybrid?  And, if you can afford a hybrid, why are you delivering pizzas?

Anyway, there’s this one pizza chain I patronize.  I like their pizza.  I order it.

Only thing is that they hit you with a delivery charge.  If that’s what the man wants to do, he can do that.  So, I pay the delivery charge.

The man that loses in this battle is the pizza man.  See, when I see “delivery charge,” I think “tip.”  After all, that’s what an extra buck and change on a pizza is, right?  Well, Papa takes the tip as tax.  There goes my tip money.  I don’t have any left for the pizza man.  The pizza ain’t that good to be putting all that money on it.

But invariably, this chain has some beggin’ ass pizza man come to my door.  They don’t seem to understand that a tip is a courtesy.  It is not owed to you.  Strippers sometimes leave the stage with nary single.  You think somebody owes you money because you brought them some food?  You were out bringing the next man his food!  I was just on the way.

And today, they sent the beggin’ ass pizza man.  I told him why I couldn’t tip, because of the delivery charge.  He then told me that he and his brethren don’t see anything from the delivery charge.

Hey there — instead of complaining to me about this, shouldn’t you be taking this up with your manager?  That’s who’s taking your money.  Why are you coming to me about it?  I ain’t got it.  Do y’all need to start a union or something?

Just know this — gas is kicking my ass, too.  Unfortunately, that’s why I can’t put something on your tank.  That’s not on me, playboy.  That’s on your job.

In other words — take that beggin’ somewhere else.

31 Comments »

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1. I don’t even want to think about what that dude is going to do to your pizzas from now on.

   Comment by Kirk — July 5, 2008 #

2. Gonna have to stand up for my brothas in the service industry… Pretty callous to call it “begging” when the man makes his living off of tips.

   Comment by RHH — July 5, 2008 #

3. Actual beggars live on their tips, too. If you ask, I say no, and you keep asking? You’re begging.

   Comment by Bomani — July 5, 2008 #

4. If they keep asking? Perhaps. Although from your post, sounds like the man was just correcting your faulty logic about a delivery charge having anything to do with the tip. In any case, he’s working hard for his and probably doesn’t deserve being compared to a panhandler.

   Comment by RHH — July 5, 2008 #

5. That’s just cheap. He delivers it to you at your door and you don’t even have the courtesy to tip him a couple of dollars? He is trying to make a living too and that’s where the majority of his money comes from is tips. The thing is you don’t like the fact that they charge a delivery fee. That is the ownwers, or excuse me “the man’s” fault. Your beef is with him. Why take it out on the poor delivery man who is trying to make an honest living? If I was him you’d always wait for a long time and your pizza would always be cold when you got it.

   Comment by scott — July 6, 2008 #

6. y’all are missing the point. i understand the people need the dough. however, it’s the pizza joint that’s stealing from them. they’re the ones that have the tip. they need to go get it from them.

   Comment by Bomani — July 6, 2008 #

7. I hear you on not wanting to give a tip on top of the delivery fee. But considering the state of the economy, I question how much bargaining power the delivery man (or woman) has to challenge the surplus the owners are taking. All that said, I’m with Kirk. I hope you have a rotating schedule of pizza shops so that they have time to forget about your house before you order from there again.

   Comment by Tiffany — July 6, 2008 #

8. I think of the tip as the penalty I pay for not getting up off my butt to get my pizza and/or beg the wife to cook.

   Comment by Kirk — July 7, 2008 #

9. I think I ‘m with Bo on this one. I hate the fact that tipping is deemed as mandatory these days. A wage, either salary or hourly, is what you get paid to do your job. A tip is a bonus based on how well you do your job. If you are not doing anything special to impress me as a customer, don’t expect stuff. Now, if you can bring me a pizza so hot that the cheese scalds the hell out of my mouth … might have to throw a couple of dollars on that.

   Cats these days doing regular ass work and expect to get tipped out for that? Nope, not here.

   Comment by LeftCoastVic — July 7, 2008 #

10. I’m with you this one Bo and Vic. This is gonna sound bad but if you don’t like your job, then find a new job. That delivery charge is rough on the pizza man.

    Comment by C — July 7, 2008 #

11. So what if they just jack up the price on the pizza instead of giving you a nice flat rate for the gas? Then would you trip less on the delivery man?

    Now that restaurants are more expensive do you stick the servers too?

    Is the $2 really that tight on ya man?

    Comment by Qz — July 7, 2008 #

12. tips are to be earned at a restaurant. the point — the pizza plan adds a tax that hurts the pizza man. why y’all — and the pizzaman — blaming me instead of The Man.

    Comment by Bomani — July 7, 2008 #

13. I, for one, am not blaming you for anything. I’m questioning the wisdom of deciding that the way to save $2-3 is by stiffing the guy who has as much as 20-30 minutes alone with your food, and no one riding shotgun.

    Comment by Kirk — July 7, 2008 #

14. I’m with Bo here. Delivery charges are bullshit.

    Comment by Brew City Drew — July 7, 2008 #

15. When I was a waiter, and I believe it is the same for delivery people, your wages are below minimum wage as the government allows restaurants to pay an adjusted rate that takes tips into account when determining the hourly rate. Also, you are required by law (at least back when I was a waiter) to report 8% of the food costs as tip earnings whether you got it or not.

    Two things: One, Bo, tip the guy, or go pick up your pizza. Your beef, as well as the delivery guy’s beef, is with the establishment. Don’t punish him, just don’t order from the pizza joint anymore. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

    Secondly, you’d better KNOW you’re gettin’ some “special sauce” your pizza. Let me tell ya, everyone thinks they can tell when someone’s spit in their food, but it’s harder to detect dried mucous (boogers), dried scalp flakes and dried dingle-berries on something like a pizza. Trust me, those things are infamous, non-detectable items in the food service industry. I never did those things (for many reasons), but I know people who did…

    Comment by Rex — July 8, 2008 #

16. y’all act like i order pizza and say “oh, i ain’t gonna be tippin today.”

    i used to bartend. i know the game on working on tips. but when you show up late with a lukewarm pizza, don’t beg for a tip. in fact, just don’t beg.

    Comment by Bomani — July 8, 2008 #

17. Oddly enough, I’m with both Bo and Kirk on this one. Having been a server and bartender for 4+ years in college, I know there are tricks of the trade for trying to get people to come off the tip. But it’s uncouth to just straight up ask a man for it. Even worse to ask more than twice…that’s begging.

    But, like Kirk, I’m too paranoid to let people handle my food and me not take care of them, even a little.

    And, RHH–most delivery guys earn a standard wage, and the tips are just extra. Bartenders/Servers make $2/hr, and the tips are their main source of income.

    Comment by bg — July 8, 2008 #

18. Bo, my brother is a pizza delivery person, working to pay for his transfer from community college to a four year school. He earns waged paycheck, and his tips help pay for gas (Pizza Pro doesn’t). And I think he’d totally understand your position.

    By charging a mandatory delivery fee (that doesn’t get kicked back into the drivers), the pizza chain is pretty much taking away any incentive for customers to give ANY driver a tip, even if he rescues your cat from a tree in the act of delivery.

    Unless the restaurant has and maintains its own delivery vehicles (most don’t, my brother uses his own Ford Ranger), they really have little justification for a ‘delivery charge’. The chain could simply raise prices across the board if the cost of food or delivery supplies were higher. And who’s to say that menu prices didn’t already take that into consideration before the rise in gas prices?

    Comment by Nate Wesley — July 8, 2008 #

19. Late to the game on this, but I never understood tipping when you pay for a service. I’d rather have them up the delivery charge.

    Another tipping ritual I’ve never understood is tipping your hairdresser/barber. You are PAYING for their services, why tip for something like that? Do you tip painters for painting your house? Or the people who mow your lawn?

    And one last thing: any talk about tipping has to refer back to the first scene in Reservoir Dogs; tipping is for the birds, man.

    Comment by Justin — July 9, 2008 #

20. digiorno.

    Comment by asha zee — July 11, 2008 #

21. You morons sound silly.

    If he doesn’t like the nature of tips then he should get another job, period.

    I typically tip well but that’s irrelevant. If I decide you gets nothing then you gets nothing. I don’t care about you or your “living” in this specific scenerio.

    As a matter of fact, you should tip me for the honor and pleasure of serving me. I’m the fucking man.

    Comment by The Spaniard — July 16, 2008 #

22. And these “tip” jars at fast food resturaunts are fucking silly too.

    Fix my sandwich and I’ll give you the posted price.

    Comment by The Spaniard — July 16, 2008 #

23. As for the “below minimum wage” argument, lobby the legislature to change the laws or form a solid workers union and demand an increase in salary.

    The problem with that is there are people who would do the work at the rate currently paid.

    Free market forces at work…large employee pool small amount of jobs.

    Tough luck.

    Comment by The Spaniard — July 16, 2008 #

24. You a fool for this one.

    Comment by Dnunn — July 23, 2008 #

25. Try Pop’s next to Brightleaf. They make real pizza and deliver around Durham. Plus, their pizzaman won’t beg at the door like some poodle.

    Comment by filthy — July 24, 2008 #

26. Wow, this is why I blast the air conditioner at some people’s food. Hey, if you don’t like cold pizza take it up with the store! Not my problem!

    Comment by sansdialate — May 28, 2009 #

27. I’m a delivery guy. I have a ton of ghetto pricks like you who stiff on a regular basis. I remember non-tippers very well. Plus, it’s pretty easy to identify “ghetto” over the phone. I mess with your pizza and deliver it as late as possible. If I ever got caught and lost my job, it’s no big deal. The very next week I’d be working for a competitor. Start tipping or get a car so you can pick it up yourself.

    Comment by Shane — May 28, 2009 #

28. I am way late answering but I just found this through another link. I don’t think people understand that pizza drivers are paid sub-minimum wages JUST LIKE waitresses now. I was a driver, now I am a part time manager because it pissed me off to put miles on my car to be stiffed 50% of the time. I will tel you this, if you are going to stiff your driver then you had better make sure your house doesn’t reek of reefer and you have no drugs visible. I had my share of customers busted when all would have been fine had they thrown a couple of bucks at me. Don’t give a shit about me? Why should I give a shit about you? The PoPo ain’t nuthin’ but a call and I made that call MANY times.

    Comment by Deb — May 28, 2009 #

29. this is why i always spit in niggers pizza

    Comment by nope — May 29, 2009 #

30. [...] of you may recall a post I did a while ago about my issues with tipping over a delivery charge, and how suckeriffic I think begging pizza men are.  Sorry, but I don’t think tipping is [...]

    Pingback by Bomani Jones » The pizza man is maaaaaad! — June 2, 2009 #

31. Deb,

    That’s pretty low-class. But you know what they say; what goes around comes around..

    Comment by Uhoh — June 26, 2009 #

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