July 31, 2009

Oh, Kanye

Yanno, even when Kanye West comes close to making me feel him…he just messes it up.

Not sure if you saw this, but a satire was written where Kanye said he was the new King of Pop, given the untimely departure of the incumbent (btw, I never heard of a search for a new King of Rock and Roll after Elvis died, but I hear this one now…as if it’s not a title made up by MJ and Liz Taylor).  Wendy Williams treated it as a news report — her great big bad, it must be noted — and folks ran with it.  In fairness to them, I can see how they can make that mistake; bad satire reads like news, and this is something Kanye just might do.

Well, Kanye’s tired of people lying on his name.  Please read it.  It’s short, and it’s difficult for me to get a good excerpt.  Long of the short — Kanye’s no longer going to defend himself against false reports.  But here’s the part I can pull out for you to check out…

IT MAKES ME FEEL BAD THAT OBVIOUSLY I MADE PEOPLE FEEL THAT I WOULD BE CORNY ENOUGH TO SAY SOMETHING SO WHACK AFTER THE PASSING OF AN IDOL, A LEGEND AND MORE THAN THAT A HUMAN BEING WITH FEELINGS AND FAMILY.

See, this is where I wanna hear Kanye get emphatic.  Don’t say you’re done.  Say you’ve begun the fight against wackness, and that the war begins at home!

As many of you know, I’m sorta conflicted on Kanye.  I think he’s one of the most talented musicians and entertainers I’ve ever seen, and he’s done it in a really, really unconventional way.  I respect him and his grind to no end.

I just find him to be a whiny little sucker.  He’s the only artist I can think of whose music I love, but whose persona I can’t stand.  I just wanna tell him to do some pushups or something half the time.

But I can go on and on and on about his music, and you’d think I was some kin to him.

Right now, I see a chance for him.  He says he feels bad he’s acted in a way to make people think he’d say such a thing?  The get on it, man.  You’ve got the grind for it.  We’ve seen it.

Now work it out.

July 30, 2009

Five years, already?

Looked up and realized that in July 2004, I started this blog.  Five years ago??? Continue reading Five years, already?…

July 28, 2009

7 Reasons UGK is Better than Run-DMC

(Upon reading the title, somebody’s uncle’s head just exploded.  Sorry about the carpet, ma’am.)

1.  Of the four rappers in this discussion — Run, DMC, Pimp C, and Bun-B — the dopest emcee is Bun.  He could cover more ground than either of the boys from Queens, rap with as much force as power as Run, and had a better knack for depth and political commentary.  Ask yourself — what could Run and DMC do that Bun couldn’t?  Then flip that around.  Hard to say Bun can’t do more.

2.  UGK stuck around way, way, way longer than Run-DMC.  Think about it…Tougher Than Leather came out the same year as UGK’s first tape, The Southern Way (‘88).  By ‘93, Run-DMC was gone.  In 2009, UGK dropped a record as good as anything they’ve ever done…and it’s posthumous (for Pimp C) banger #2.  They’ve stuck around long enough to rap with two generations of emcees that were influenced by them.  In rap, that’s astounding.

3.  Pimp C, the musical genius.  Run-DMC’s best work was done with Rick Rubin.  Pimp C was his own Rick Rubin, with a particular gift for music theory and working with live instruments.  And he sang lots of his own hooks.

4.  UGK’s music was more evocative.  Tell me the Run-DMC song that resonates emotionally like “Hi Life.”  And that’s just the one I picked.

5.  UGK’s got a stronger catalog.  Run-DMC’s got two records even Run-DMC fans don’t want to listen to again (Back from Hell and Crown Royal), and one they were pretty disappointed with (Tougher Than Leather).  There’s not a wack UGK record.  There’s not even a bad UGK record.  And each of their seven albums is distinct from the others?  Game — blouses.

6. UGK did this without the advantage of being in New York.  If UGK is from New York, who would argue against them being automatic members of the Rock ‘N Roll Hall of Fame?  Put Run-DMC in Port Arthur…do they get as big as UGK has?  Probably not.

7.  UGK did this without the promotional push Run-DMC had.  This is sorta corollary to the point about New York, but think about this — UGK’s first video, if I recall, was “Take It Off.”  That’s, what, ‘99?  Or, put differently, 13 years after “Walk This Way?”  Ridin’ Dirty going gold with neither a single nor a video is nearly as impressive as the success of Raising Hell.  Not as impressive, mind you.  But nearly.

Tell me what you think.  I leave you with a link to what might be the two best rap groups ever, with DJ Paul and Juicy J on the track.  I’m using the Sims version because you can’t embed the real one.  Best I could do.

July 24, 2009

Time to move on, OK?

So folks are still talking about Skip and the Sergeant. James Crowley actually did sports talk radio in Boston.

Yawn.

It’s not a “yawn” because of what Crowley said. I honestly have no idea whether he was telling the truth or not in this interview, but I know damn well that Dennis and Callahan picked their sides before they showed up. Kinda like cats like Michael Eric Dyson, who has also picked his side.

Getting into the particulars of this case is a waste of time, and it’s unproductive to turn this into us vs. them, no matter who you are. Skip’s not going to jail. The cop really didn’t know who he was and, if the cop had known, he wouldn’t have gotten in that sitch. Who was wrong? From what I can tell, all parties involved. It’s just such an indignity for a Haaaaaaaaah-vard professor to be treated like this.

Yeah, but it ain’t as much of an indignity as this…

The police have an extended track record of antagonistic behavior toward black men. If you don’t believe that, you’re either a fool, a liar, or simply have no significant relationships with black men. That’s the point that came from Gates’ arrest that should spur larger discussion.

Instead, we got the cop on sports talk defending themselves, Gates on CNN Black in America 2 telling his side, and everyone trying to figure out who was right or wrong.

Who cares? I mean, really…who cares? Charges were dropped, and nobody’s getting fired.

Just ask yourself this…you heard more talk about Skip getting arrested, or that boy that got blown away by the transit cops in Oakland?

You don’t have to be a Ph.D to deserve protection for mistreatment. It shouldn’t take a Ph.D to make you pay attention when something seems to go wrong. A hot spinner in your chest should suffice, right?

Right?

So why didn’t it?

If this wasn’t some hoity-toity prof, we don’t talk about this. But lemme ask you this…

If this was a 26 year-old receiver for the Patriots, are we having this discussion? When the cops in Houston put some volts in Fred Weary for no damn reason on the side of the road — which was actually part of a bigger Taser problem in Houston — were you talking about it?

That was way more jacked up than Skip’s problem. Yeah, it jarred some folks to see this happen to an older man, but this happens so damn much that Skip’s situation didn’t get anything out of me but jokes.

Which is appropriate, seeing how most of the coverage has turned into just that — a joke. Forget what they call a black man with a Ph.D. What about the cats without them?

July 22, 2009

At least nobody threw a chair

First this from Korea…

Then this from Taiwan…

They don’t even do it this dirty in the D.

Now if you’ll excuse me. Any further commentary could get me in trouble.

H/T to Dlisted.

July 21, 2009

How did Skip Gates get busted?

As you may have read, Henry Louis Gates got jammed up trying to get into his own house.  Bad biz.

Nothing really to say about what happened to Skip — who, in a manner of speaking, is my former employer — but there are questions.

When Skip was breaking into his house, what was he wearing?  Was he coming back from the gym in a track suit?  Because, even with racism being a clear variable in this case, I can’t imagine seeing Henry Louis Gates and thinking he was a prowler.

Have you ever met Skip?  You ever seen him on TV?  Any interaction with him whatsoever?

If he was a burglar, what would he call himself, The Tweedcoat Bandit?  Was he breaking in because he heard they keep old slave narratives under the mattress?

Perhaps that’s the most offensive part of this.  I’m not saying Skip doesn’t look like he might steal.  Everyone looks like they might steal.  He does not, however, look like he would break into somebody’s house.  At the very least, he looks like he’d be too good of a crook to just shoot the shit with Johnny Law if he’s breaking in.

(EDIT–here’s his gear.)

Not getting mad about this.  Plus, some of this falls on Skip.  That’s right.  Clearly, he doesn’t talk to his neighbors enough.

Unless he just moved there, everyone around should know that he is the black guy in the neighborhood.  You gotta go to the mailbox every day.  Pass out cookies on Christmas.  Have the police come and do a “safety inspection” so you can introduce yourself (a former prof of mine did that, which was very, very wise).  But man, you gotta make sure that when those folks see you, they stop and say, “oh wait, that’s him.”

You make a decision to live that Ivy League life, then you’ve gotta have more game than that, man.  Kinda makes you wonder why this doesn’t happen to him more.

Oh well.  I do think “The Tweedcoat Bandit” would look great on business cards.

July 20, 2009

A fleeting thought about The Wire

(If you don’t watch The Wire, you won’t get any of this.)

Has there ever, in history, been a more improbable comedy team than Chris and Snoop?

When I did my list of favorite characters, I didn’t add them because…well, I hate them and Marlo just a wee bit less than I hate Stringer Bell. And I could only hate Stringer Bell more if he were real.

(And they put Stringer Bell on the cover of Essence, meaning I better not never see another “brothers ain’t shit” article, if you’re gonna put that reprehensible bamma on the cover…and yes, I know he’s not real, OK?)

Anyway, they drop some of the funniest lines in Season 4.

• “Why ain’t in your repertoire no more, nigga.” –Chris
• “Here we lay a couple New York boys, who came too far south for they own fuckin good. Where your Yankee pride at now, bitches?” –Snoop
• Everything associated with the pop quiz to see if the dealers were from New York
• Snoop’s trip, to start the season, to the home improvement store to buy the nailgun
• “Yeah, me too.” –Snoop, to Bunk

And here’s the thing…I don’t believe either character, at any point, told a joke. It’s all hilarious stuff, but no people have ever been so funny without ever really trying to do so.

So yeah, name a more unlikely comedy team. I dare you.

July 9, 2009

What are networking purposes?

If you haven’t seen, the Michael Jackson documentary is back in rotation. I haven’t said anything about it because, honestly, that’s way far in the rearview. Thanks for all the kind words, but we already went through that here at Virtual Bomaniland about four years ago. I’m not that self-indulgent.

(BTW, for those that have read my madness for years, here’s a throwback to the first installment from my last trip to London for that show. Click and follow.)

Anyway, this has gotten me dozens of adds from new “friends” on Facebook. I’m cool with that.

What threw me off, though, was someone that told me she added me for “networking purposes.”

What exactly does that mean?

Take this from somebody that networked his way from his dorm room to ESPN.com in five years — you’re not going to get it done on Facebook. You’re not the first person with this idea.

And that idea, from where I stand, doesn’t fit with the term “networking purposes.”

If you want to effectively network on the Internet, it can be done. I’ve had the good fortune of being assisted by people I grew up reading, people that I idolized and, in many cases, I never ever spent a moment in the same room. You can make crucial connections online.

But you’re not going to do it just adding someone on Facebook and telling them “I just added you so we could be in touch.”

Wanna effectively network? Show people something.

Now, how do you plan to do that on Facebook?

The idea that the game is about who you know and not what you know is foolish. The game is still about what you know. The thing is…so many people know so much stuff that knowing people is what’ll take you over the top when you want something. Knowing people helps, but the necessary condition is knowing something. Dig?

Every job I’ve gotten has come about because of networking. But it’s because, in the course of meeting these people, they saw something they liked. They thought I could make a contribution. I wasn’t just the first name they thought of. And if were that the case, it was probably because what I knew put me in their minds.

Please take heed of these words because I think they’re what has helped me more than anything as I’ve tried to navigate this crazy game — never ever ever ever ever ask for anything.

Never ever ever ever ever tell someone you’re linking up with them just because you want to know them.

Ask that person if he or she wouldn’t mind helping you with your work. Ask that person if you can bring them questions when you have them. Find a way to work with that person.

After all, the work is what’s bringing you together, right?

But this game is, was, and will be about work. Everyone involved has too much to lose for it to be about anything else.

You will not, however, schmooze your way into anything but someone’s bed. Seriously.

There are quite a few people, younger and older, whom I’ve gotten very close through this site because they got in touch with me looking for help. Michael Arceneaux is one of my favorite writers. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten him any work. That said, I’d like to think he is better off for the conversations we’ve had about writing (I know I am).

That’s way more important than any job.

So if you see someone out there, don’t be afraid to talk shop with him. You never know who will reply, and you’ll never know who will remember you.

But don’t come into it looking for something. If you want to network, then you need to meet people. Establish relationships. You can’t establish relationships on that drive-by kick. You will not find your future on Facebook or MySpace. You will find it in your words.

Don’t be afraid to share those words. In the end, they’re all that will matter, no matter who likes you and how much.

July 8, 2009

Why I despise Stringer Bell

So Melly Mele told me she was worried about my distaste for Stringer Bell. She says it’s irrational.

When a woman who makes bank while Skip Bayless (who, it should be noted, has always been really, really nice to me) begins Year 7 of his grudge with LeBron James, I feel the need to do what I do best — hyperintellectualize!

Well, not really.

Anyway, I hate Stringer Bell. I admit that I have a visceral reaction when I see his character on the screen. When he was on The Office, I wanted Idris Elba’s character — whose name I never bothered to remember — to be the victim of workplace discrimination. It’s just a tad serious when it comes to Stringer.

Like Jemele, many of you wonder why I go so hard on Stringer Bell. I actually had to think about this, because I readily acknowledge this isn’t normal and, on its surface, it does seem irrational (and this coming from someone that’s so rational that it’s got to be annoying to deal with).

It’s pretty simple. Stringer Bell is a racist.

(For a second, imagine Stringer’s a white man. Now read some more, then we’ll revisit this.)

The single most objectionable thing about Stringer Bell was the nauseating, condescending tone he took with the people that worked with and for him. Stringer Bell was a self-hating bastard. David Simon talks about how Stringer just wanted to be someone else, but that translates nicely to “self-hating.” He talked to those boys, boys who came up the same damn way as him, as if they were stupid. He sounded like the rest of the self-righteous bourgeois clowns that continually look down on the poor as if they’re lesser beings.

Think about this. A lot of you love Stringer because he was going to community college (as if that shit’s special). Here’s my question — why is it that Stringer Bell never, not one single time, encouraged anyone else to take his path. He thought he could change the game? Maybe. But how was he gonna keep that game going if he was the only one that had this advanced knowledge?

He saw the people around him as marginally superior to monkeys. He treated them as such. I hate those people in real life — and notice many of them looooooove Stringer Bell — and I hate them on screen.

Imagine Stringer as a white man again. You might have a different look at him.

Let’s take questions from the audience right fast.

*HE WAS TRYING TO TREAT THE DRUG GAME LIKE A BUSINESS! HE WAS AHEAD OF HIS TIME!*

Now, the only way that’s a truly good thing is if you saw Stringer’s attempts to be a way to eliminate violence. I get that. One payoff from Stringer’s vision was less murder, and I guess he gets credit for that.

Except it’s not as if Stringer did this in the name of principle. He did it in the name of paper. Less bodies, less cops, more money. I don’t blame him for it. Ain’t gonna give him props for it, either.

Let’s go one step further. At every point, when Stringer ran out of answers, what was his solution? Take somebody out. Happened to Wallace. He tried to do it to Omar and/or Brother Mouzone. He wanted to do it to Clay Davis (classic television, btw).

Let’s not pretend this cat didn’t want anyone to die. He didn’t give a damn if they did or not. He just wanted the cops to get off his back. I guess I’ll give him a golf clap for that one.

Now don’t get me wrong. Stringer is a compelling character. I just don’t find him compelling because he was taking business classes. I’ve taken the same business classes. They didn’t make me a good dude. The biggest assholes I’ve ever met are in academia. And I have worked in both music and the sports media.

Just made him another dude in community college. Whoo-hoo.

He also was smart. Another great big whoo-hoo. I’m pretty smart. Know what that matters for in the grand scheme? Naythin. That’s what. Bupkis.

I won’t belabor the obvious points about Stringer getting with D’Angelo’s girl when he was in the joint. And having D’Angelo killed while he was getting with his girl. And the Wallace thing. And sending Avon up the river because Avon, the boss, wouldn’t listen to him. Nah, no need to get deep into that.

But the bad vibe I got off the character, which made him the biggest villain — even bigger than Marlo — in the greatest narrative I’ve ever followed, comes from the stench of a hatred of poor black people. I have no respect for that whatsoever, whether on Earth or on film.