Two posts in one day? Yes.
Why? Because apparently, some cats just don’t understand some basic tenets of living in this world. In particular, that Kobe Bryant.
And the tenets that govern much of our lives is a little something called The G-Code.
There isn’t enough space on here to talk about the whole thing, but here’s a major part of it.
DO NOT DRAG ANOTHER MAN UNDERWATER TO STOP FROM DROWNING
If you don’t know the story, click here. If you’re not registered to the LA Times, go ahead and do it. It’s free, and it’s essential reading for this one.
Long of the short…while talking to the fuzz about his, shall we say, marital transgression at the Cordillera in Eagle, Kobe decided to tell Johnny Law that he should have handled this little problem the way he says that Shaquille O’Neal would.
“Hours after his sexual encounter with a hotel employee in Colorado, Kobe Bryant told investigators that Shaquille O’Neal, his Laker teammate at the time, had paid up to $1 million to women to keep them quiet about “situations like this,” according to a police report.”
But wait…it gets better!
“‘Bryant made a comment to us about what another teammate does in situations like these,” Winters wrote. “Bryant stated he should have done what Shaq (Shaquille O’Neal) does. Bryant stated that Shaq would pay his women not to say anything. He stated Shaq has paid up to a million dollars already for situations like this. He stated he, Bryant, treats a woman with respect, therefore they shouldn’t say anything.'”
Whoa buddy…
First, we don’t know if this is true. It’s entirely possible that what he’s saying about Shaq is true, but I won’t begin to speculate on that. Cats do plenty of dirt, and cats with money are quicker to pay money to cover up the dirt because money is what they have in long supply (call it comparative advantage, economists). At the same time, cats with long bread are more likely to be accused of doing things (a point that adds doubt to the idea that Kobe was guilty of sexual assault).
But see, whether it was true or not is an irrelevant point to me. If Shaq did it, that’s on him and should be handled accordingly by his wife, the authorities, whoever. However, this wasn’t information Kobe should have been sharing with Johnny Law, Jane Wife, or anybody else. That was none of his beeswax, jack.
What he did was a blatant, flagrant, unforgivable violation of The G-Code.
Unfamiliar with The G-Code? The G-Code is really an extension of The Golden Rule. But more than anything, it outlines rules that preserve every person’s hustle. That preservation is actually rather Lockian (as in John…not up on philosophy, get a quick look at the Social Contract, prominently mentioned in The Second Treatise of Government). Basically, in order to live freely, we give up the right to unnecessarily interfere with the lives of others. Ceding that right protects each individual from having their lives infringed upon, and that’s because everyone cedes that right. When that cession is violated, there should be serious repercussions in place to keep the system operational.
In layman’s, it rolls like this…don’t mess with me, and I won’t mess with you.
Corollary to that point is this–if you have nothing to gain from bringing me down, then you really need to leave mine alone.
So, after the police shined that light in Kobe’s face, he began to detail his encounter with a still-unnamed young lady. After detectives turned their tape recorders off, he began to vent that he should do the things I put in quotes above.
Now, what in the world was he going to get from doing this? As far as his case is concerned, that would have to do the the politically incorrect price of tea in a far away nation with a billion inhabitants.
It did nothing. But he said it.
And we know why he did it.
Johnny Law is scary. When the fuzz hems you up–and they’ve hemmed me a few times, and money says they’ve hemmed you, also–you answer the questions. However, you say nothing more than what is asked. Be very careful about saying too little (for fear of the wood shampoo, courtesy of Mr. Do-Right), but never say more than is asked. NEVER. I would say that you don’t snitch, but that’s a much trickier situation. This didn’t even involve the cost/benefit of saving your own behind vis-a-vis maintaining some honor amongst thieves.
But Kobe sang…and he sang a song that wasn’t even requested. If the man asks you to sing “Happy Birthday,” you don’t rip into your best rendition of “Let’s Get It On.” Man, the fuzz was there to send Kobe’s black ass to jail. Unless Shaq made a trip to Eagle County that no one knows about, that wasn’t going to get those cops off his scent. All it did was give them a good story to tell at poker night and leave an interesting detail in the court records.
So, Kobe Bean had nothing to gain at all from singing this song. They wanted “Happy Birthday.” He could have sang Stevie’s version off Hotter Than July, for all anyone cared. But tattling? C’mon, bruh…get with the Code.
The Code explicitly says that you do NOT drag another man down to save yourself. Snitching is a code violation, but it’s nuanced. This is a red-letter foul. This was completely unnecessary.
And such behavior must stop now.
Why am I so hot about this? Because I can live my life safely because of The G-Code. I can live without unnecessary interference because The G-Code protects me. But clearly, cats don’t either don’t know the Code or simply don’t respect it.
That must stop.
What should we do? Ernesto, AD, and I have discussed writing The Code down and distributing it as widely as possible. That’s a big job, though. We may need help.
So what should we do? Does there need to be a Code Convention or something, a la America’s founding fathers? Do we need to convene and discuss this?
The real fun will be when he hits arenas across America. Batteries might be thrown. The boos will surely cascade like Victoria Falls. All men in attendance will treat him with scorn. That list of men includes G-Code violators like him. Violators want the Code’s protection, even if they don’t grant it.
Yes, Kobe will be hated by fellow haters. Not sure where he’s going to find friends.
Can you imagine how tight-lipped the locker room is going to get when Kobe rolls in from now on? He’ll be like Fredo at Mama Corleone’s memorial service. That said, he need be afraid of a hug from his “brother.”
You don’t do this, man. You don’t put a man’s business out there. And if this stuff about Shaq is not true, you don’t lie on another man to save yourself. That’s an incorrigible sin.
And it didn’t even help him out. He got nothing from it.
Getouttayere.
Anyone seen wearing a #8 jersey in purple and gold should have to ask themselves what they emulate. They wear the mark of haterism on their backs, making them suckers of the n-th degree. It wouldn’t be me, jack. If it’s you, you must really love purple and gold. Get a PV jersey instead if you just gotta have the color scheme.
In closing, The Code is in danger. It must be protected. Please, help me help The G-Code. Help me save our freedoms. Help me allow men to live as they please.
Something must be done.
Now.
15 thoughts on “EMERGENCY UPDATE–An Introduction to the G-Code”
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Kobe needs his monkey ass kicked for being a rat and a snitch. He is intruding on many lives being a rat. Now, Shaq’s at home in the doghouse because of this and gotta answer a bunch of crazy questions. Kobe, you really oughta be ashamed of yourself bro. Props to my man Bo on this thing!
I’ll be so happy when Kobe and Shaq just make love and get it over with. I’m so sick of their bitching. They’re on DIFFERENT F**KING TEAMS now, and they still can’t cut it out. That’s not a rivalry. That’s a CRUSH. Take it to a hotel room, bitches.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Kobe got shot for this, or at least have them 100 million dollar legs broken at the caps. And you know what…I’d understand. Yeah man, folks need to convene on that G Code. It seems as if order needs to be restored.
And if there is any confusion…I’m a born and raised Laker fan.
I’m willing to volunteer my services to construct a viable G-code…
Kobe should be flogged for his sins and thoroughly punished for those egregious G-code violations
The G-Code has followed the African tradition of oratory preservation long enough, Its time to lay it down on stone Pillars so that all generations will know its importance, understand its value, and live by its tenets. And those tenets should be tatooed on the tongue of Kobe Bryant, hopefully rendering him mute as punishment for his betrayal. But if after the ceremonial tatooing he retains his ability to speak, he can never open his mouth again with being a spokes person for the G-Code. I was also born and raised a Laker fan. Holla Black
What is wrong with this guy? Did he spend too much time in Italy as a youth and is not fully aware of the Code? Man, its gonna be hard to retain or acquire any friends if he is gonna dime out cats. Here is a good rule to live by, “THOU SHALL NOT THROW SALT IN ANOTHER MAN’S GAME”. I’m not stickin up for this cat no more.
Yeah Kobe’s a punk, but he’s more naive/stupid than anything. I’d bet the paycheck that it never occurred to him when he said that that it might get out, even though he seemed stressed about it all the way through the interview. He reminds me of a combination of some of the dumbest people I knew in high school, and I went to HS in an area that bordered on “Deliverance” country.
It’ll be interesting to see what happens when Shaquille rolls into Staples on Christmas Day. My guess is that Kobe’s stocking is gonna have a brick in it this year.
Merely further evidence of the Bean’s legendary bitch-made-ism. I’ve heralded it since early in his second season, but the brilliance of the almighty “forum blue” and gold has blinded many a Laker faithful to the truth. Ol’ Kobes has since served as the latest prototype (the previous version was portrayed by the immortal Clifton Powell in Menace II Society when he, after getting pistol-whipped by Caine, sent the tape to the police) for what we west-coastians refer to as a “trick ass mark.” So it appears that his (and I use that term lightly) hypocrisy, selfishness, and shamelessness have been exposed to all except the most naive of us. And there’ll be plenty of them buddy, believe-you-me.
Dude…I’m so with you. When I heard that I jumped straight up and said…”That’s against the code.” Called my boy and the first thing he said to me was…”damn…he broke the code dog…” you’re right on point with this one bruh. I might even have to burn my Kobe jersey…
Kobe is as bitch made as water is wet for that one, and the last time I checked it don’t get much wetter than water. Bitch Ass Nigga of the year Kobe Bitch Bean Bryant.
I’m glad Kobe is finally getting rained on. Now the world knows why he gets shitted on everytime he comes back to Philly. Yeah we got haters, but we also got people that know a bitch when they see one, Kobe is that bitch.
why have even have to have a g-code? if true, kobe and shaq’s behavior toward women SUCK, especially since these dudes are married. why even get married if you’re going to cheat on your wife? ugh!!!!!
I have a question, why marry if you know that you will cheat? What is the f***ing purpose for making someone else miserable because you think with your dick? Their tactics to hide their cheating proves to me that these two have no real “balls”. If you are going to sleep around on your significant other, why hide it? And if Kobe’s story about Shaq is true, then he is a truely pathetic human being (Kobe already had proven himself pathetic). Don’t even get me started that “grown” men have a code to keep sleeping around a secret. How immature can you get? Do us all a favor, grown up and be responsible for once.
The G-Code is NOT a code to keep sleeping around a secret. If you sleep around, that’s you.
The G-Code is an unspoken, yet understood, set of parameters in which men live their lives. Certain areas like talking about things that does not effect/affect them, droppin’ the dime on someone out of sheer dislike and not for the common good, and others are included in that code.
The issue raised is not about their cheating, because a basic tenet of the G-Code is “Don’t Put Isht Past Anyone.” The issue is mentioning things that a person does not have first-hand knowledge of and does not harm him/her in any way, shape, form or fashion; and said mentioning brings unwarranted drama into another person’s life.
For that, and that alone, the Bean would’ve really gotten his ass whupped in certain areas of the Southern U.S.