The esteemed J.A. Adande shot this link across Twitter — a fascinating survey of profiles on the dating site OKCupid.com.
I encourage you to check the whole thing out. There are some fascinating macro-level racial conclusions drawn from the data, which uses a more than adequate number of observations (n>562k, drawn at random) for that task. The techniques they used aren’t incredibly sophisticated –stuff a former econ grad student says — but there are some really neat correlations.
My only problem is this: they kinda use this as a way of really finding out what stuff white people like, and they’re off. Oh, it’s certainly more accurate than the infamous site, Stuff White People Like, but that’s because that site was really talking about a rather small subset of white people and extrapolating that to say things about the whole race. As a graduate of Waller High School in Waller, Tex., I can tell you there are plenty of white people that are nothing like the clueless hipsters SWPL slams.
By the same token, you’re not going to really find out what white people — or anyone else — is like from a survey of dating site profiles. Sure, you’ll get a hint, but people don’t use those profiles to describe themselves. They use those profiles to describe a person that someone else would want to date. Of course, many of those things posted are accurate, but people are selling something on dating sites. And the sales pitch has as much to do with the consumer as it does the merchant.
Anyway, the blog collected the terms that most commonly populate pages of all races and genders, then picked out the ones that occurred most commonly. The bigger the word, the greater its frequency.
These are the terms black women put into their profiles most commonly. Given that the overwhelming preponderance of women I’ve dated are black, it seemed best for me to look at their results.
Is this stuff gonna help you get a man? I can’t really tell you. I never cease to be amazed by what dudes are into. Maybe some dude’s looking for a woman that’s into soft rock. You see that commercial with the old man saying how the ladies love Peter Cetera? I guess he was right.
Anyway, let’s have some fun with it. Since I can’t speak for these other cats, I’ll speak for Mack and Barbara’s baby boy. Would these terms help you with me? Ehhhh, there might be a reason I’m not on OKCupid.
Soul food. If you have this under “favorite food,” fantastic. Most women that love soul food can prepare it, also. However, without a picture, it will be difficult to gauge whether I find your affection for neckbones to be a common interest of past the point of optimality.
The Color Purple. Secret: I’ve never bothered to watch that movie all the way through. And if you expect me to watch it with you…eh, I’ve watched worse. I’m kinda neutral on this one.
God-fearing. Personally, I don’t care. That’s between you and yours. However, if I see “God-fearing” and your picture is of you at the club in front of a Caddy? Well, you might have blown the cover you worked so hard to put up.
Gospel. No problem here. Whoever’s driving picks the music. It’ll just be gospel when you drive.
Alicia Keys. But if you think enough of her to list her in your profile, we’re probably not into the same kind of stuff.
Neo-soul. In 2010, anyone still using that term is probably trying to show me her depth through her musical tastes. That’s a big strike.
Lip gloss. At least they ain’t cracked.
The Coldest Winter Ever. If it makes you feel good.
Zane. Just as long as you know that shit isn’t actually good. If you read it just to read it, I’m cool with that. But man, if you think it’s literature, we might not have much to talk about.
The Lord. Cool. I’m probably not your speed, but cool.
Soca. West Indian, ha? OK.
My God. I think this, while not absolutely true, is worth considering.
Tyler Perry. Seriously? This isn’t going to help your cause. Nothing personal, but I’m not about to watch that stuff with you. Naw, I draw the line there.
The Bluest Eye. Never read it. Popular among the educated crowd. Hmmm, could be.
God’s plan. I’m actually a lot more concerned with your plan. We don’t find out God’s plan until it’s too late, yanno?
African. I think this one just wound up in there.
Musiq. Oh god, no.
Hip-hop. OK.
R&B. Tell em more.
Maya Angelou. Go away. Well, maybe not. If you can laugh at my one word answer to what makes that woman in the poem so phenomenal, you might be right for me. You just happen to like wack poetry.
My church. Holla when you get home. Which is probably gonna be late. Yeah, cool.
Coming to America. Now we got something to talk about.
Maxwell. Don’t worry: I have no problem paying for those tickets. You just might have talked yourself into a date to remember.
Bible. If that’s listed as your favorite book, there’s nothing wrong with that, but that’s not really what I’m looking for under that category. When you talked about “the Lord,” the Bible thing was assumed.
Jamaican. I’m not gonna say anything about me, but lemme tell ya: this one right here will generate a huge variance in responses. Some will be turned on and intrigued. Others will run like hell. Not saying it’s right, but it’s what it is.
Basketball. Really? Or do you think I like basketball? It’s a fair question.
Luther Vandross. If this is on your list, while Luther is cool, I’m more into chicks that dig Prince. There will be no Luther playing at my house when you come over. It will be Prince.
Sexy. You wrote that down? No, you’re not.
Christ. I can see that.
India Arie. Hell no. Plus, I find the not-so-cute identify a little too closely to her. “Hey, I’m not the average girl in the video!” Or the 7-11. But please, feel good about you, don’t get me wrong.
God and family. Got it.
Trey Songz. Sorry, but you’ll have to play that for your 21 year old man.
My man. And you have a dating profile…oh, you’re advertising what you’ll do for your man? Don’t be thirsty, baby.
Pretty Woman. Someone went to a white high school…
God’s love. It does a body good.
Self-help. Like, those are the books you read? Ehhhh, don’t tell people that off the rip.
Justin Timberlake. And not only did you go to a white high school, you dated the white dudes there. Cool to know.
Church. Better than Church’s, lemme tell ya.
Shopping. I’m sorry, but this doesn’t help. This is not an activity. It’s something you have to do. If it’s a sport? I just hope your job is marvelous.
Romance novels. Yeah, somebody’s tired of that cold side of the bed. You’re telling on yourself, girl.
I attend. I do, too, sometimes. Wait, where?
Soft rock. Ixnay, bay-bay. Try this.
In nursing. This is tricky. Because an RN will tell you she’s an RN. “I’m in nursing” means she’s not a nurse. That’s cool, but know she doesn’t make much money, if any at all.
Singing and dancing. Please be hobbies. If career dreams, nope. Seriously, if you wanna sing and dance and you’re on a dating site, I’m telling you — you just don’t have it.
Writing poetry. My cradar is beeping lightly…
To church. Man, these are a lot of permutations of “I love me some Jesus.”
Faith in God. And I thought that other one was the last.
Very down. Heheh…yeah, you’re gonna get called for date. Not plural. Just one. Since you’re down, yanno?
Law and Order. Yeah, we can kick it. If I’m broke, we can just turn on TNT.
Blessings. And there was one more.
So yeah, ladies, here’s what I’m saying: it’s just me, but think about what you’re posting. It might not have the effect you’re going for. Hey, and why not one more?
