G-Code and Simp Alerts

Yes, it’s time for a G-Code alert. But first, thank you to all the participants in yesterday’s discussion. I think a lot of people learned a lot of things from that discussion. If you know somebody that makes T-shirts for cheap, let me find out. This is a lot better than those “stop snitchin'” t-shirts that scream out, “I GOT WARRANTS!”
Moving on, I’m sure a few of you are tired of hearing about the G-Code, and that’s okay. We have a word for people like you–simps. If you get tired of the code, you’re a simp that’s likely to deviate and get somebody put out of his or her house, put off his or her job, or something else really catastrophic that tends to happen when the simps are in the house.
Anyway, I was online last night, and Kirk sends me a like to www.g-code.com. I clicked on it quickly to see what was on the page, but it was nothing. Of course, the vision of starting a site that clearly enumerated the code had me prepared to form the G-Code committee and get to work.
Unfortunately, www.g-code.com has already been purchased.
But by whom? The magazine with the highest circulation in America.
That’s right, I’m talking about…

…
…
(drums roll, suspense sets in…)
TV Guide.
That’s right–TV Guide.
The friggin’ TV Guide owns the right to www.g-code.com.
What in Hades is TV Guide doing with that domain? Is TV Guide planning to roll out a new title geared toward the “urban” audience? Perhaps Juvenile has stock in TV Guide?
What’s really good?
Also, Dillard asked whether “Go Getcha Man” is the second commandment of the G-Code. Well, I’m not sure if we’d need to make the Code that specific. That would make it unwieldy. Also, that would also require that we clearly enumerate every transgression. The problem there is that, then, anything that is not explicitly stated in the Code would be fair game. What we need is a basic set of principles. That may allow for some grey, but we’ll get a Court formed to evaluate any ambiguities.
Also, cross-gender interactions get a little tricky with the Code, but I do think that some of those violations are Code violations while some aren’t. Some of the people that make those mistakes are just trifling. However, some of the people they ask ain’t G’s, so I guess the Code doesn’t quite apply to them. Those non-G’s…we need to form a Drop Squad for them. We need to kidnap them, throw then in the back of ’85 Ford Econoline vans, and reprogram them in the ways of the virtuous.
But only for their own good. G’s have all the fun. Simps…they’re the scourge of the Earth.
Matter of fact, time to just throw out a few simps. A preliminary list, if you will.
1.Joe. Not Joe Jackson. I’m talking about that singin’ Joe, Mr. “I’ll lick between your toes cuz I know your man ain’t doin’ that” Joe. Mr. “Excuse me, but it looks like your man quit you. Wanna come to my house so I can give you a pedicure” Joe. Joe’s clearly a dude you don’t wanna leave around your woman. Not that she’ll leave you for him or anything, but she’ll definitely be at his house letting him do her hair and nails. You just don’t want a purportedly heterosexual man like that around your woman. He’ll stay hatin’. And if she does drop you after his hatin’, he’ll wanna come fight you because your now ex-woman didn’t stay with him.
And why wouldn’t she? ‘Cuz no one wants to be with a simp.
2.Clifton Powell. Nothing personal about CP, but his Code violation in Menace II Society is legendary. Shouts to alldaydre for reminding us of this a while ago.
3.Kobe Bryant. I met Kobe in Houston a couple of weeks ago, and he was very, very nice to me. However, he bought that ring. Rod Prime has permanently associated him with the Kobe Call, the one you have to make to your wife at night to make sure she isn’t itemizing everything in the house to decide what she’ll be taking with her.
And he talks to the police.
More on simps later. In fact, comments?