Be nice to the older folks

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Now that I’m free of contractual obligations, I can talk about sports on here now.  I generally avoided it because I worked for someone else to talk about sports.  Well, not anymore.
Anyway, saw Mercury Morris on ESPN yesterday rapping.  Yes, this old man was rapping.  Spittin’ bars.  It was some “Super Bowl Shuffle” shit, but it was an old man rhyming nonetheless.
Forgive me, but I don’t think he came up with that idea on his own.  He’s on that straight “get off my grass” now.  I can just see him trying to beat a teenager up with a newspaper for parking in the handicap spot at the mall.  That dude isn’t typically a fan of the rap music.  In fact, those old cats may have marched with Dr. King and sing “Black is Beautiful” at birthday parties, but they’ll let something slip about the “jungle” when they hear Run-DMC.
Yet there was Mercury Morris on SportsCenter rapping.
I say this because I respect the game, and because I think old people should be treated nicely.
(Ahem)
Whoever pulled Mr. Morris to the side and suggested that he go on television and rap needs to man up and offer that old man a heartfelt apology.  That was oh so wrong.  Buddy was actually half-decent on the mic, but he looked every bit of ridiculous.  And it’s wrong to ask old people to do things to make themselves look ridiculous.
Morris has been all over television lately, and it’s made me uncomfortable.  It’s like he’s a character from an alternate version of “West Side Story” (you know, a version with black people).  All this ’50s-type tough talk about how good his old football team is.  Seriously–it’s been 35 years.  Even though Morris is talking about a feat from professional football, there’s still a “I scored four touchdowns, not in a season, but one game” vibe to this.  You’d think Morris hasn’t done anything since 1972.
Morris works as a motivational speaker, so I’m certain he’s made a far greater contribution to the world than just playing on a good football team.  But would you know that from seeing him on TV?  I don’t think so.
For real, he’s rapping now.  He called the Patriots “busters.”  Busters!  People only still say “buster” facetiously.  Except MC Mercury.  Dag Hance, you gotta hurry up and get on before people start mixing you up with the other Mercury.
This is just wrong.  It’s a really bad look, and this feels like exploitation.
So, it’s on us to keep him off the tube.  Just because he wants to be on TV doesn’t mean you should let him.  This has gotten out of hand.

9 thoughts on “Be nice to the older folks”

  3. Dante'

    Mercury Morris is getting hustled. Whenever someone goes 4-0 to start the season, they drag his old ass out, and he obliges by not getting his natural picked and balanced out right, and then going Grandmaster Merc on sportscenter.
    Go home Merc

  5. FredBatiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction

    I just got tired of him saying that “Don’t call me when they get in my town/on my street or something….call me when they get on my block” nonsense..
    He needs to sit his old arse down and enjoy the old footage of him, Jim Kiick and Larry “American Gladiators” Czonka and Bob Greise in their younger days.
    Rap is just like buying equate products at Wal-Mart: You just can’t Equate everything, and not everybody’s meant to rap

  6. Kirk

    Mike Ditka should be all over this. He’s been pushing the league to provide better medical care, etc. for retired players, and if this doesn’t help him make his case, nothing will. ONLY head trauma could explain Mercury’s decision making here.

  8. salt

    The joke was clearly on Mercury. The sportscenter anchors are clearly in the tank for the Patriots, and are laughing at Mercury, it’s too bad Mercury himself can’t see it. Ravens/Patriots was clearly a race war between black and white.

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