Down Low…down low.

Well, those of you going down to Jamaica looking for some of that grooveback might wanna take a look at this. Life ain’t lookin’ so sweet for Terry McMillan right now.
But buddy, it’s ’bout to look even worse for her man.

You’ve probably seen the movie “How Stella Got Her Groove Back.” ‘Twas not a bad movie, but it was more the grounds for humor for me. My brother and I once talked about heading up to the movie theater, waiting in the lobby for the movie to let out, and approaching every attractive older woman in the theater without a wedding band with one question…
“Tryin’ to get some groove back? I got some groove right here.”
Might have worked. I’ve listened to women talk about gawking at Taye Diggs’ nekkid ass. I ain’t no Taye Diggs–unlike him, I can get on all the rides at Astroworld–but I would have served the purpose they were looking for, save for that whole marriage thing.
Well, Terry’s caught a nightmare–she married a DL case. That’s gotta suck. And, if that piece above is true, she’s not happy at all. Homophobia is a disgusting being, but I’m sure something like this has got to be hard on her ego, and improperly researching a husband is definitely going to be hard on her pocketbook.
Really, this has gotta suck.
But real talk…this jibber jabber about being tricked by a man looking for citizenship is hysterical. He may not have done that, but wouldn’t that be the thought anyone held on to? Wasn’t that your first thought when you read about this marriage? Anyone that didn’t see this one coming is fibbing or foolish. I can’t remember just how old she was when they got married, but something tells me she didn’t care too much about whether he wanted her money or not. The hunt for a man is tough for black women over 25. I’ve said that many times and offended many black women when I’ve said that, but let’s be real about this–if we talk about the shortage of black men, we can’t then say that folks ain’t gonna get desperate the more the calendar flips. Sometimes, folks hold on tight when they get the chance for something, especially if they don’t think the chance is coming along again. At least with a young dude, Terry had a chance to mold him a little bit.
Didn’t mold him enough, apparently.
But something tells me she was pretty happy to have a man. Maybe that was worth a few mil. Men make that decision all the time. Man, I better get married soon (pics from the Pittsburgh wedding coming soon. Seems a perfect way to come behind this one).
As for buddy, he’s gotta go back to Jamaica after the world has found out that he’s a homosexual. I’d rather go back known as the guy that killed Bob Marley. It’s really that serious. I listen to enough dancehall to know that gays aren’t quite appreciated by the black, green, and gold. Beyond taht oversimplification, I know enough about West Indian attitudes about (faux) masculinity to know that my man will be better served to go somewhere in Frisco and start waiting tables.
Trust me.
Tell me what’s on your mind. Eh’body and they mama’s got something on their minds with this one. But before you get too crunk, watch yourself. Though I’m good to use slurs against nearly anyone, I’m not able to let slurs against gays just slide. One day, I’ll explain my rationale behind that.

11 thoughts on “Down Low…down low.”

  1. Whoa! This is some story! Divorce is always messy! This one will be even worse because the marriage has always been in the public eye and the divorce will be front-page news because a best-selling book and block-buster movie were based on it. (Just when I thought the whole ‘DL’ thing was quieting down!)
    I was glad to see that Ms. McMillan had him sign a prenup entitling him to nothing, however, I was dissapointed to read that the Superior Court judge ignored the prenup and gave her husband $2,000 a month and $25,000 for attorneys fees. I believe that he deceived Ms.McMillan and is therefore, entitled to nothing.
    On a side note: As a black gay man, I hate the fact that the actions of this guy and others like him will continue to set back the struggle for rights and the perceptions that many in the larger black community have of us. The whole ‘DL’ syndrome was just starting to quiet down a bit and now it will be headline news again. Sisters, I don’t know what to tell you, some of these guys are apparently undectable. Just be careful, and pray a lot before considering anyone for marriage, and always, follow your gut instincts. That’s your guardian angel looking out for you.
    Can you imagine if he has to go back to (extremely homophobic to the point of violence and death) Jamaica? And, how could he not have known that he was gay when they got married? Everyone develops at a different pace, but I’ve known since I was a young child.
    Bomani’s note – Prenups get thrown out all the time. The contracts themselves really expire as time goes on. More than anything, a pre-nup will stop someone from getting anything if they stick around for just a little while.

  2. Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction

    I guess this gives “Trapped in the Closet” a whole other meaning… (sorry y’all, couldn’t resist the urge)!
    Man, this stinks bad for ol’ Terry..who almost singlehandedly made it really bad for brothas in the mid- to late 1990s with “Stella” and “Waiting to Exhale”…at one point, she was like second to Oprah when it came to be equivalent to gospel truth to black women (you think i’m lyin’ mane, i’m not).
    But ole boy gotta go back…to Jamaica! Man that’s not good for business. Like you Bo, I love me some dancehall and also talked to a few Jamaicans..and um, they don’t take too kindly to that there. I’d rather be the only brother at a Klan rally than to be your boy going back to Jamaica after all this…
    But strong4 u or anyone else can answer this: Is it me, or does this “DL phenomena” really mean “Have your cake and eat it too phenomena??” I mean, that’s all it is.
    Another question: Why didn’t she get a background check done on ol’ boy? I thought anyone in her position would do that anyway…But I think, paraphrasing philosopher Calvin “Too Sweet” Broadus…she was in love like a mothafu**a while he was lickin the pearl tongue.
    On the list of makeshift Yodas to misguided black women, let’s not forget Iyanla Vanzant. She’s a clown of the nth degree, making Oprah and Terri look downright prophetic.

  3. Thank God for a working gaydar.
    I agree to a certain extent. As a current 25-year older who still at my old age gets a decent amount attention from the opposite sex of assorted ages, I’d probably raise the age at which women become desperate a bit. But then again, maybe I’m odd because I seem like one of the few females in no rush to get to the alter.
    I believe desperation causes a lot of women to overlook obvious signs about their man. Not just in the case of a man’s sexual preference, but in his character as a whole. But I don’t know. McMillan has always struck me as a little…flaky.
    As for DL’s next “victim”? I’m pickin’ Star Jones.

  4. DvnlyInspdDiva

    First off…as a West Indian, specifically Jamaican I would be remiss if I failed to point out that America is a homophobic society, too. Anti-gay sentiments expressed in music lyrics and crimes committed solely on the basis of someone’s sexual orientation are not a feature exclusive to Jamaican society. Hence, the necessity for recent legislation on “Hate Crimes.” The fact that we can name places (i.e. San Francisco as mentioned) with a high concentration of homosexual residents, reveals the very need in America for there to be “safe haven” spots or at the very least places where one is not treated like a circus sideshow because of sexual preference.
    Second, the “DL phenomena” is such a scheme. People act like men haven’t been secretly sleeping with other men and marrying women as front for CENTURIES. Now because J.L. King wrote a book about it and it was on Oprah, everybody wants to act like it’s something new. All that’s happened is that people have found another way to hustle…making money off of women that got faked out and men who don’t own a deck of cards yet have weekly “pokehim games.”
    But hey, I feel bad for Terry. Divorce hardly ever is pretty, especially when you got funds to lose. And as “Elizabeth” said, Star is next! Praying I’ll never be!
    Let’s be real–Jamaica’s waaay worse on homophobia than the states. Would such hate crime legislation even be considered in Jamaica? There are varying levels of extremity when it comes to nauseating behavior.

  5. “Tryin’ to get some groove back? I got some groove right here” – I’m lovin’ it like McDonald’s… haha
    And I just can’t argue with the Star prophecy.
    It’s funny that Asian males experience a similar flak from our Asian female counterparts – that there are no good Asian men. Supposedly we’re all too nerdy, shy, and boring, which I’m guessing is not what McMillan et al criticize about black men…
    I’m also somewhat impressed by the honesty on both sides (Plummer must have known the consequences of coming out the closet, and Terry must have known she would be eating all the words in all the copies of her book). I can see myself trying to keep the whole situation on the DL… you could have the dude in Jamaica emigrate to the US and become a permanent houseguest like Kato Kaelin… and then Terry could murder them both, I mean if OJ can do it, shoot…

  6. Am I the only one who wasn’t surprised by this story? It just seems something wasn’t right when Terry introduced this cat after coming back from her Jamacian “Groove-Finding” mission.
    While it’s messed up for everyone, you KNOW Terry’s sitting at a computer right now, knee-deep in rewrites on the book about this mess. Shoot, Angela Bassett’s probably already signed the contract to appear in the movie version of “I Was Trapped in the DL.”
    I know Oprah can’t wait to do this show! This could be the story that brings back the “Old Oprah”!
    And I’m glad Elizabeth made that reference cause I’m picking up the same vibe from Mr. Star Jones.
    But that’s just me–I could be wrong.

  7. Star Jones husband may be bi but apparently she already knows that and is ok with it. If you read the interviews she did after the rumors came out, she stated that they had discussed all of their past together and were both comfortable moving forward with the marriage. This sounded like a rather vague acknowledgement that he, and possibly, she have both done some dibbling and dabbling. Looking through the glass from my side, (the gay side), nothing surprises me anymore.

  8. “I think [he] deserves an Oscar!”
    I don’t see the same thing playing out with the Star Jones camp. She knows the deal about ole’ boy, and has no problem being his beard. And he knows his role- escort the missus to the Oscars, stay out of the bathhouses and cash the check.
    Star was a 40 year old single lady who wanted a wedding.

  9. Yes, Ms. McMillan should have done her homework a little more extensively. But Diva Jones is a little more prepared (being the former Assistant District Attorney of NY and all). I think she is fully aware of what could happen. If it does, she knows it would be shame on HER, but I don’t think she will let him take her for a ride in court. I have often heard her (on the View) compare her life to her sister’s life (wife and mother of 2). She just wants to experience marriage because she has more than fulfilled her career.

  10. You know, everyone is talking about Terry and Star but I can assure you that Barbara Walters will be coming out of retirement to do an interview on Oprah finding out that Stedman Graham is gay! Oh, and let’s not talk about Chante Moore and Kenny Lattimore. C’mon people! Stevie can see this with Ray’s glasses! Mark my words.
    And besides, I’ve been saying this for years that the vast majority of men either have tried it or want to try it, TRUST ME! The word “straight” is a thing of the past!
    Moreover, all I will say is that sisters need to be prayed-up and stop rushing to get married! Sisters need to be content with themselves, get a gay friend guy (to be taught how to “clock” these brothers), and press-on!
    Now, I’m out and as I said earlier, “Mark my words!”
    The need to get married is the most troubling thing, if you ask me. Doin bad by your damn self is underrated, as is living it up by your damn self.

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