This post has been brought on by a bit of a coincidence. My good buddy Chancellor Sherman sent out one of his classic e-mails to a list of us the other day decrying how many women in his life expect him to do things a boyfriend does (rides to the airport and the likes) without doing things that girlfriends do (you know what’s up). The Chancellor’s pain was felt.
Two days earlier, I had to inform a friend of mine–who is married, no less–that she really shouldn’t call me on my day minutes to tell me a somewhat mundane story about how her boss aggravated her during lunch break. That story definitely fell under well-known heading known as, “lemme tell you what this (chick, girl, broad, ho, bitch, whatever) did at work.”
This also falls under the purview of your man. In that case, your husband.
Why bring these things up? Because I think it’s time that someone made it clear that there are some things that your man should be taking care of, not me. Why not me? Because unless your last name is Knowles, I ain’t your man.
1.Rides to the airport for 6am flights. See, Young Baba has had to pay a lot for parking at the airport this year. Why? Because it is always my preference to catch the first flight out when I’m taking a trip for business. That means that whoever would be taking me to the airport would have to come and get me at 4 to get me to the airport at 4:30, just in case I have to go through the full Osama at the security checkpoint.
I ain’t askin nobody to take me to the airport at 4 unless we got a lil’ something goin’. And by a lil’, I mean a lot. The only time I’ve asked for help doing that involved me parking my car at a hotel in Atlanta because my buddy worked there, catching a shuttle to Hartsfield, and then asking him to drive my car home. Why was that okay? Because I dropped the car off at 5 and he drove the car home when he got off work at 7.
Ladies, want a ride for that 6am flight? Don’t call me. That’s right–go getcha man. Ain’t got one? Learn to appreciate the convenience of not having to wait for your ride home.
2.Lemme tell ya what this _____ did at work. Got a secret for you, ladies–even when we’re your mens, we don’t wanna hear those stories. We do it, but not because we love you. We do it because we have to. But see, if I ain’tcha man, I ain’t gotta do jack. If your man don’t wanna hear it, I promise you your boy don’t wanna hear it. If your boy sits through it, chances are that he wants to be your man. That’s not cute, is it?
So ask yourself–does the person I’m calling at 3pm wanna hear this story? If you’re not sure, put the phone down. More importantly, ask yourself this–is this story even funny? Out of the ordinary? Does it involve midgets on crutches or something else that seems impossible to imagine? Worth pulling out the camera phone? If not, then keep it to you.
And definitely do not call twice in two days. Go getcha man.
3.Moving. Another suggestion from the Chancellor. I’m of the belief that you learn who your friends are when you’re getting ready to move. Default Dave will always be my boy because he helped me move into Bomaniland, as did Ashy Larry and Young Ernesto.
Now ladies, gotta be real careful about who you call on moving duty. Really, I think I can name every woman I’ll drop it all to help move. Their names are…ummm, Leonore. I think that’s it. Leonore has a man, but I’ll help her move because she’s fam. That, my friends, is about it. Otherwise, getcha man. He’s got friends.
I do have a friend here I’ll help move, but only because her spinster training is going too well, and she’d be waiting until the day they have the Baghdad Winter Olympics to get someone to help her move.
The rest of youse–go getcha man.
4.Am I fat?
Maybe, maybe not. But here’s the thing–chances are you won’t believe me when I tell you you’re not, and you’ll get pissed if I say you are. So, ask your man. He has to put up with that stuff. I don’t. Need a token compliment to make you feel better? Go getcha man.
5.Wanna go to the mall?
Hell no, I don’t wanna go to the mall. What, walk around carrying your bags? Please. I can’t even get at no chicks when I’m at the mall with you. So you wanna go get cute for the summer, go get your girls. Even better…go getcha man.
I’m sure there are more on this kick. What do you think is a reason to call your man, not your boy?
That’s right–go getcha man. You know the deal.
46 Comments
by Clarence
HAHAHAHA!!!! I ain’t no cuddle bitch! Peep the link, it’s only on point maybe 90% of the time. The Ladder Theory
This post is a bomanijones.com classic.
by Clarence
HAHAHAHA!!!! I ain’t no cuddle bitch! Peep the link, it’s only on point maybe 90% of the time. The Ladder Theory
This post is a bomanijones.com classic.
by DP
Friendship is a tricky thing, primarily because it means different things to different people. Women, when they put you in the friend zone, pretty much snatch off your Y chromosome in the process, making you like one of your girls. Those brothas of you(yall know who yall are) who like to lurk around and pile up brownie points to take to the Counter to redeem for coochie coupons, need to understand that aint what those brownie points are for.
Conversely those sistas out there who dole out brownie points by the thousands, with no intention of redeeming them for anything of value by the brotha you giving them to, be aware that at the moment you MOST need the services these dudes are providing, you are going to be shorter than a conservative Hispanic Supreme Court candidate.
Ain’t no future in your fronting.
by DP
Friendship is a tricky thing, primarily because it means different things to different people. Women, when they put you in the friend zone, pretty much snatch off your Y chromosome in the process, making you like one of your girls. Those brothas of you(yall know who yall are) who like to lurk around and pile up brownie points to take to the Counter to redeem for coochie coupons, need to understand that aint what those brownie points are for.
Conversely those sistas out there who dole out brownie points by the thousands, with no intention of redeeming them for anything of value by the brotha you giving them to, be aware that at the moment you MOST need the services these dudes are providing, you are going to be shorter than a conservative Hispanic Supreme Court candidate.
Ain’t no future in your fronting.
by Rachel S
I don’t know why you had to pick out women here guys do this too. Except for the am I fat one. LOL! That one, no man can answer–if you say yes she’ll be pissed, if you say no she won’t believe you.
On the other hand, if they are calling you because their man is looooooooser, and won’t do anything. Then you are obligated to say no, or she’ll stay with his sorry ass forever.
by Rachel S
I don’t know why you had to pick out women here guys do this too. Except for the am I fat one. LOL! That one, no man can answer–if you say yes she’ll be pissed, if you say no she won’t believe you.
On the other hand, if they are calling you because their man is looooooooser, and won’t do anything. Then you are obligated to say no, or she’ll stay with his sorry ass forever.
by strongforu
You made some interesting points Bomani. Here’s a twist on that one. As a gay man, women often want to befriend me and take away my ‘Y’ chromosome in the process and I ain’t havin’ it. I’m not that dude. Then, when it’s convenient, like when their car needs a jump start, or, they have something heavy to move, they want to rebadge me with the ‘Y’ chromosome and use me as their manservant. I love you ladies, but think again. As Bomani says, ‘Go getcha man!’.
I’m seeing “Go Getcha Man” t-shirts…
by strongforu
You made some interesting points Bomani. Here’s a twist on that one. As a gay man, women often want to befriend me and take away my ‘Y’ chromosome in the process and I ain’t havin’ it. I’m not that dude. Then, when it’s convenient, like when their car needs a jump start, or, they have something heavy to move, they want to rebadge me with the ‘Y’ chromosome and use me as their manservant. I love you ladies, but think again. As Bomani says, ‘Go getcha man!’.
I’m seeing “Go Getcha Man” t-shirts…
by Stephanie
Just so you know, I have a moving crew that includes the women in my family (we have moved each other between 4-5 times–whole houses!!). I carry my own jumper cables (and know what to do with them–once a guy who gave me a jump, DIDN’T) and I generally hate going to the mall. But guys do it too, they always want you to cook for them (or maybe it’s just because I’m from Louisiana). And while it’s true I don’t have a man (there’s a joke in there somewhere), when all your stuff is together–men will flat out ask you, what do you need me for? What exactly should I tell them? BTW, I don’t think your done with Prince yet. I think you need to rank the songs that Prince wrote or produced recorded by other artists.
Those of you dudes reading this comment, you need to know this–you better get on this one before I do. Think I’m playin if you want…
by Stephanie
Just so you know, I have a moving crew that includes the women in my family (we have moved each other between 4-5 times–whole houses!!). I carry my own jumper cables (and know what to do with them–once a guy who gave me a jump, DIDN’T) and I generally hate going to the mall. But guys do it too, they always want you to cook for them (or maybe it’s just because I’m from Louisiana). And while it’s true I don’t have a man (there’s a joke in there somewhere), when all your stuff is together–men will flat out ask you, what do you need me for? What exactly should I tell them? BTW, I don’t think your done with Prince yet. I think you need to rank the songs that Prince wrote or produced recorded by other artists.
Those of you dudes reading this comment, you need to know this–you better get on this one before I do. Think I’m playin if you want…
by jaedalaurez
I don’t know- on the one hand, I understand the “go getcha man” philosophy, right? but I think that’s only applicable if the give and take is not reciprocal.
If I have to hear about how somebody’s fantasy team sucks, or do the “what should I get my mama for her birthday?” mall trips, or field the “it’s 3am and I need a jump but I can’t call my girl cause I told her I wasn’t going out” phone calls-even after marriage- my boys can DAMN sure listen to me bitch for 5 minutes about that trick at work without expecting me to f**k them at the end of the day to mitigate their “pain” at having to listen.
Plus, I think it depends on how long I’ve known said person- most of my guy friends I’ve had since the days of Hello Kitty and Underoos, so we been through some THANGS. I don’t know that I would do that for a guy I met last weeek, but if I think of you as my boy, we got history.
by jaedalaurez
I don’t know- on the one hand, I understand the “go getcha man” philosophy, right? but I think that’s only applicable if the give and take is not reciprocal.
If I have to hear about how somebody’s fantasy team sucks, or do the “what should I get my mama for her birthday?” mall trips, or field the “it’s 3am and I need a jump but I can’t call my girl cause I told her I wasn’t going out” phone calls-even after marriage- my boys can DAMN sure listen to me bitch for 5 minutes about that trick at work without expecting me to f**k them at the end of the day to mitigate their “pain” at having to listen.
Plus, I think it depends on how long I’ve known said person- most of my guy friends I’ve had since the days of Hello Kitty and Underoos, so we been through some THANGS. I don’t know that I would do that for a guy I met last weeek, but if I think of you as my boy, we got history.
by **RPM**
Bo, so true. So true. And you are so rude. I loe that about you.
by **RPM**
Bo, so true. So true. And you are so rude. I loe that about you.
by Amanda P
Sex?? For a ride to the airport? Then screw ya’ll, I’ll ask a good girlfriend.
If these high-maintenance women, however, are asking you for things and not their men – they’re playing games with you. In which case, flex your Y chromosome (be a man about it) and tell them as much.
Did I say that sex was the only trade for a ride to the airport? Not quite. But man, 4am? Folks got jobs, man.
by Amanda P
Sex?? For a ride to the airport? Then screw ya’ll, I’ll ask a good girlfriend.
If these high-maintenance women, however, are asking you for things and not their men – they’re playing games with you. In which case, flex your Y chromosome (be a man about it) and tell them as much.
Did I say that sex was the only trade for a ride to the airport? Not quite. But man, 4am? Folks got jobs, man.
by Yohance
DAMN RIGHT!
And for more on this topic, peep my Man-ifesto…
Click here.
by Yohance
DAMN RIGHT!
And for more on this topic, peep my Man-ifesto…
Click here.
by Nikki
If it’s something I can do for self, I try not to ask anyone for help, whether you’re my man or not. And you’re absolutely correct, you find out who your true friends are when it comes time for you to move.
by Nikki
If it’s something I can do for self, I try not to ask anyone for help, whether you’re my man or not. And you’re absolutely correct, you find out who your true friends are when it comes time for you to move.
by Laylah
The first person who responded needs an award, they are on the scrilla, $.
by Laylah
The first person who responded needs an award, they are on the scrilla, $.
by Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
“Go Getcha Man” …now that’s some T-shirts and a rap song…and how about “Go GitDat Fool” for dem friends that get you into harm’s way???
This is soooooooo true, Baba. Now only females I ask to take me to the airport are called “family,” and I limit that probably to one of my more responsible cousins and my sister. Other than that, the WMD pays the fees to park.
But the WMD has been in situations when some female asked him to do something like he was their man…I replied, “But, um…I’m not your man. Shouldn’t Leroy be doing this?”
NOTE: The only “Lemme tell you what happened at work” stories I want to hear are the funny ones, not about what so and so did and how the white folks are prejudiced or some other crap you got lingering in your head.
You’re right, Bo. Askin a dude you’re not in a relationship to get up at 4 a.m. to take you to the airport is not cool. He could have wanted to have sex with somebody else, or he could’ve had some major things going on early the next day… but no self respecting proponent of the G-Code would not put themselves in that situation
Now it’s different when it involves two single people, but slightly. The main question you gotta know is “Will ol’ girl do the same for me if the tables were turned?” You get the answer to that question and that’ll let you know if you should take on such tasks.
WMD NOTE: Bo, call that “Will ol’ girl do the same” question the “WMD recirocatory action theorem,” or some other funny name!!!
Don’t we all feel bad for the guys named Leroy? Btw, they’re not to be confused with LeRoy. As for your axiom, it has been said, so it shall be done. Assuming anyone listens to my shit, anyway.
by Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
“Go Getcha Man” …now that’s some T-shirts and a rap song…and how about “Go GitDat Fool” for dem friends that get you into harm’s way???
This is soooooooo true, Baba. Now only females I ask to take me to the airport are called “family,” and I limit that probably to one of my more responsible cousins and my sister. Other than that, the WMD pays the fees to park.
But the WMD has been in situations when some female asked him to do something like he was their man…I replied, “But, um…I’m not your man. Shouldn’t Leroy be doing this?”
NOTE: The only “Lemme tell you what happened at work” stories I want to hear are the funny ones, not about what so and so did and how the white folks are prejudiced or some other crap you got lingering in your head.
You’re right, Bo. Askin a dude you’re not in a relationship to get up at 4 a.m. to take you to the airport is not cool. He could have wanted to have sex with somebody else, or he could’ve had some major things going on early the next day… but no self respecting proponent of the G-Code would not put themselves in that situation
Now it’s different when it involves two single people, but slightly. The main question you gotta know is “Will ol’ girl do the same for me if the tables were turned?” You get the answer to that question and that’ll let you know if you should take on such tasks.
WMD NOTE: Bo, call that “Will ol’ girl do the same” question the “WMD recirocatory action theorem,” or some other funny name!!!
Don’t we all feel bad for the guys named Leroy? Btw, they’re not to be confused with LeRoy. As for your axiom, it has been said, so it shall be done. Assuming anyone listens to my shit, anyway.
by Rell
if your car is broke, something you have needs fixing, you can’t get your dvd player hooked up right or someone at the job is making sexual comments to you — don’t call me @#$@# GO GETCHA MAN!
by Rell
if your car is broke, something you have needs fixing, you can’t get your dvd player hooked up right or someone at the job is making sexual comments to you — don’t call me @#$@# GO GETCHA MAN!
by Kirk
Why has no one stated the obvious? A lot of times, the women pulling this shit are down for some action, too, whether they have a man or not. They might not admit it, and they may never act on it..hell they may not even KNOW it… but it’s there and it’s real.
See, ladies, this is the kind of shit we mean when we say you toy with us. And, for the record, we don’t like it. Not one fucking bit. You may not mean to do it, but that’s like apologizing to someone you just accidentally nudged off the side of a bridge. Too little, too late, and no damn good.
So, don’t be surprised when we don’t want to hear about what happened to you at work. Don’t be shocked if somehow we fail to care about the fat girl at the gym that doesn’t wear enough clothing. Understand that we have no desire to even fix ourselves a sandwich, let alone fix any part of your home or your car.
And never, ever, ask us to listen to you complain about the problems you’re having with your man. We already know you’re having problems with him or we wouldn’t be hearing the rest of this shit either. Simple as that.
And damn, I need to get a cool nickname so I can refer to myself in the 3rd person like the WMD. It just sounds like he should be the a member of the Four Horsemen or something…too damn cool.
by Kirk
Why has no one stated the obvious? A lot of times, the women pulling this shit are down for some action, too, whether they have a man or not. They might not admit it, and they may never act on it..hell they may not even KNOW it… but it’s there and it’s real.
See, ladies, this is the kind of shit we mean when we say you toy with us. And, for the record, we don’t like it. Not one fucking bit. You may not mean to do it, but that’s like apologizing to someone you just accidentally nudged off the side of a bridge. Too little, too late, and no damn good.
So, don’t be surprised when we don’t want to hear about what happened to you at work. Don’t be shocked if somehow we fail to care about the fat girl at the gym that doesn’t wear enough clothing. Understand that we have no desire to even fix ourselves a sandwich, let alone fix any part of your home or your car.
And never, ever, ask us to listen to you complain about the problems you’re having with your man. We already know you’re having problems with him or we wouldn’t be hearing the rest of this shit either. Simple as that.
And damn, I need to get a cool nickname so I can refer to myself in the 3rd person like the WMD. It just sounds like he should be the a member of the Four Horsemen or something…too damn cool.
by C-Dogg
After a long absence, C-Dogg is back. Bomani, I am glad to know that you enjoyed my Friend vs. Boyfriend email. It’s a sad but true fact that a lot of women are getting too familiar with their friends. Yes, men are guilty of this but not on the level that women are. The most a man will ask for is food. Ladies have a whole laundry list of stuff.
I didn’t even think about the Lemme tell ya what this _____ did at work duty. That is just pure torture. At least with the airport and moving you can see a light at the end of the tunnel. When a girl starts talking about some $hit that another girl did, you don’t know when it will end.
It’s like Kirk said, some chicks out there probably don’t know that they are doing it but it doesn’t matter, WRONG IS WRONG.
If you are single and you need some help I’ve got your back, but when you get a man that becomes HIS job. He gets the benefits so he should do the work.
By the way Kirk, you made Fred’s day by saying he sounds like he should be one of the 4 Horseman. He is probably running around now screaming “Wooooooo!!!”.
by C-Dogg
After a long absence, C-Dogg is back. Bomani, I am glad to know that you enjoyed my Friend vs. Boyfriend email. It’s a sad but true fact that a lot of women are getting too familiar with their friends. Yes, men are guilty of this but not on the level that women are. The most a man will ask for is food. Ladies have a whole laundry list of stuff.
I didn’t even think about the Lemme tell ya what this _____ did at work duty. That is just pure torture. At least with the airport and moving you can see a light at the end of the tunnel. When a girl starts talking about some $hit that another girl did, you don’t know when it will end.
It’s like Kirk said, some chicks out there probably don’t know that they are doing it but it doesn’t matter, WRONG IS WRONG.
If you are single and you need some help I’ve got your back, but when you get a man that becomes HIS job. He gets the benefits so he should do the work.
By the way Kirk, you made Fred’s day by saying he sounds like he should be one of the 4 Horseman. He is probably running around now screaming “Wooooooo!!!”.
by Kirk
Hey as long as he doesn’t wanna be Steve McMichael, that’s ok by me. Just as long as no one catches a backhand chop to the chest for asking for a ride to the airport.
by Kirk
Hey as long as he doesn’t wanna be Steve McMichael, that’s ok by me. Just as long as no one catches a backhand chop to the chest for asking for a ride to the airport.
by James Edward Dillard
shouldn’t “go getcha man” become the ‘second commandment’ of the G-Code?
is it already?
just askin
by James Edward Dillard
shouldn’t “go getcha man” become the ‘second commandment’ of the G-Code?
is it already?
just askin
by Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
Steve McMichael, hell to the nawl…never he or Paul Roma…
The least I’ll give you is Barry Windham…
and it wouldn’t be a knife-edged chop for a ride to the airport…it’ll be a good ol’ Double-A spinebuster…for her man, cuz that’s his job and not mines!!
by Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
Steve McMichael, hell to the nawl…never he or Paul Roma…
The least I’ll give you is Barry Windham…
and it wouldn’t be a knife-edged chop for a ride to the airport…it’ll be a good ol’ Double-A spinebuster…for her man, cuz that’s his job and not mines!!
by J.R.
Well it looks like i’m the only one of the commenters who hasn’t said anything, so i guess i’ll bless y’all with some words, nuthin’ big though…
I agree with Fred’s “WMD recirocatory action theorem”. You gotta ask yourself, ‘would this MF do the same for me if the tables were turned?’ If you don’t know the answer because you haven’t gotten into that situation with said MF, then throw them a bone and do them that favor. If later on you test them and see if they will reciprocate on a smaller favor, and they don’t have your back, then forget it, don’t ask me 4 shit…G.G.Y.M.!
One late night I drove 25 miles to pick up a ‘friend’ from Dulles airport in Northern Virginia and drove her an HOUR AND A HALF to Towson, Maryland, up past Baltimore, and I didn’t know I was gonna be doin that kinda drivin, so I was HOT. When it ended i barely got a thanx, a hug, nuthin. Its all good though cuz we gettin’ married next year, so she will not be 4evr known as ‘that bitch I burned a full tank of gas for’.
But the folks that always want someone to do something for them, then they are MIA when that IOU needs to be cashed, they need to wake up cuz one day they are gonna be in a sticky situation and nobody is gonna pick up the celly. thanx to the commenter with the brownie points vs. coochie coupon theory, which was right on point…
Let’s all congratulate JR on his engagement, continuing a new tradition where my friends marry better than they have any business doing. Happy for ya, pimpin.
by J.R.
Well it looks like i’m the only one of the commenters who hasn’t said anything, so i guess i’ll bless y’all with some words, nuthin’ big though…
I agree with Fred’s “WMD recirocatory action theorem”. You gotta ask yourself, ‘would this MF do the same for me if the tables were turned?’ If you don’t know the answer because you haven’t gotten into that situation with said MF, then throw them a bone and do them that favor. If later on you test them and see if they will reciprocate on a smaller favor, and they don’t have your back, then forget it, don’t ask me 4 shit…G.G.Y.M.!
One late night I drove 25 miles to pick up a ‘friend’ from Dulles airport in Northern Virginia and drove her an HOUR AND A HALF to Towson, Maryland, up past Baltimore, and I didn’t know I was gonna be doin that kinda drivin, so I was HOT. When it ended i barely got a thanx, a hug, nuthin. Its all good though cuz we gettin’ married next year, so she will not be 4evr known as ‘that bitch I burned a full tank of gas for’.
But the folks that always want someone to do something for them, then they are MIA when that IOU needs to be cashed, they need to wake up cuz one day they are gonna be in a sticky situation and nobody is gonna pick up the celly. thanx to the commenter with the brownie points vs. coochie coupon theory, which was right on point…
Let’s all congratulate JR on his engagement, continuing a new tradition where my friends marry better than they have any business doing. Happy for ya, pimpin.
by dame
Bo,
this is supposed to be a good spot to get shirts made up..
http://www.spreadshirt.com/
holla.
new blog related email addy as well.
Tell these yamps to go get they man.. I’m lovin it like McDowell’s.
Dame, I thought you’d left us, man. Where you been?
by dame
Bo,
this is supposed to be a good spot to get shirts made up..
http://www.spreadshirt.com/
holla.
new blog related email addy as well.
Tell these yamps to go get they man.. I’m lovin it like McDowell’s.
Dame, I thought you’d left us, man. Where you been?
by dame
man, workin on a new j.o.
had then iterVREW yesterday, killed it IMHO.
if I get it, and then progress a tad, I should have much more available capital to invest in smal biz ideas, such as designer t shirts, etc.. that I’ve always dreamt about… that’s why I already had the link ready for you.
You know those shirts would kill in ATL.. and if anybody else is thinking about stealing bo’s idea, I’ll sick a chick w/ crabs on you!
Seriously, let me know how I can help as usual, I know a few boutique owners here and in Cali.
by dame
man, workin on a new j.o.
had then iterVREW yesterday, killed it IMHO.
if I get it, and then progress a tad, I should have much more available capital to invest in smal biz ideas, such as designer t shirts, etc.. that I’ve always dreamt about… that’s why I already had the link ready for you.
You know those shirts would kill in ATL.. and if anybody else is thinking about stealing bo’s idea, I’ll sick a chick w/ crabs on you!
Seriously, let me know how I can help as usual, I know a few boutique owners here and in Cali.
by ej
i know that **RPM** was saying how this was kinda rude, but see, i’ve been there. and this is right on time. it’s humorous but it’s right on the mark.
if only we had the t-shirt.
by DP
I ran this by my fiancee’ and she got a big kick out of it…hell we both did.
It’s not so much rude..as it is overdue. What happens is you get caught on a slippery slope..giving and giving..then you look up..and its 345am and your ass is warming up the ride on your way to the airport…
it happens to MEN AND women….just that Bo…is a man. so thats what he wrote…yall know damn well yall seen women write the same stuff about men.
and rightfully so.
by DP
I ran this by my fiancee’ and she got a big kick out of it…hell we both did.
It’s not so much rude..as it is overdue. What happens is you get caught on a slippery slope..giving and giving..then you look up..and its 345am and your ass is warming up the ride on your way to the airport…
it happens to MEN AND women….just that Bo…is a man. so thats what he wrote…yall know damn well yall seen women write the same stuff about men.
and rightfully so.
by Cobb
Whooo. Deep in the friend zone. Let me present some others that you undoubtedly have heard / experienced. But keep in mind, bros. You absolutely must do these things if you do any of them, with the strategy in mind to.. ehr uhm, how shall we say? Well.. you know.
A. Come with me to the mechanic / computer / stereo store. I need you to be there so they don’t take advantage of me.
Danger! If you say yes to this once, it’s like you are now putting a ‘use me’ sign above your head. And she will keep on using you, until she uses you up. If you decide to do it, you need to go Mandingo. Put on the wife beater and cuff the bottom of your jeans. If you don’t have the muscle shirt, then roll up a pack of Marlboros in a regular t-shirt. Black boots are mandatory. Understand that you are in place to be a masculine object, which means that somewhere deep down in her, she has some appreciation for the brute, mechanical male. You are now Rufus T. Bohunk. Don’t overdo it – leave the Wild Turkey in the trunk. But let her know that you’ve got the ability to be part gorilla.
B. My sister / cousin is in town. She has a nice personality but she doesn’t know anybody. Come out with us.
This can seem to be an invitation to interesting parts, but it aint. If her sister was hot, she would be *her* wingman (so to speak). Clearly the babe in question gets no run. Which makes you insurance. So it’s a backhanded compliment. It says that you are better than the average lunkhead that her sister can pull. It also means that she and her sister have been talking about you. And if she’s ready to pass you off to her, there’s some measure of disrespect going on either between her and her sister or her and you.
The best thing to do is decline the offer, but find out where they’re going. Then show up late on the sly.
C. Come with me to Church.
Don’t.
This is a trap. There is no way in a million years that you will ever operate with any semblance of control on her home Church turf. Not on Sunday, not at the Picnic, not at the Battle of the Gospel Choirs.. nowhere. Unless you are Zack the Double Mack, don’t go down that track. Why, because you cannot control the rumors. And if she’s got a man, it will get back to him. And a man who shows up to Church with my woman means he wants to marry her, OR, she takes pity on his soul. Either way, you don’t want to go there. Maybe her objective here is to show that she has a respectable male friend, which means she has a sordid history she is trying to live down. That definitely puts you out of the catbird seat.
D. Watch my baby while I…
I don’t believe most brothers would fall for this one. I mean. Now you’re doing stuff that girlfriends do. Trust me, there is no upside in this one. None.
E. Help me cleanup after my party.
The party is over and you’re one of the last ones to go. She asks you to help clean up. This one is a 50/50.
Cobbski, ladies and gentlemen!