Keep it real–I’ve done some impressive things. I would run through a list of those things, but that’s unbecoming. But today, I pulled off the most amazing of all those feats.
I managed to burn myself on the back. With an iron. Seriously.
See, I’ve got this bad habit of leaving whites in the dryer instead of folding them and putting them away. Not like beaters and socks need ironing, the way I see it.
A related point is that I set my iron up right in front of the washer and dryer. The best place to keep the board is by the appliances, so it makes sense.
Anyway, I had just gotten done ironing for work, and I needed to get a beater out of the dryer. Being that I have long arms–I would make a simien reference, but I don’t want nobody gettin’ no bright ideas–I figured I could reach over the board and get the t-shirt.
Next time, I’ll do that after the iron cools off. I was a wee bit short of the beater, so I stretched some more. Next thing you know, the board tips, the iron falls, and the tip his me in me lats. Rather warm, in case you’re curious.
What was my next trick? Looking around the house for a half hour looking for my keys. Put my hands in my pockets out of frustration and what do I find?
Told you…I’m impressive, Jack.
Busy day. New piece running tomorrow and some other fun stuff.
Be easy.
22 Comments
by Stephanie
Wow, that is impressive. I’m a pretty clumsy chick, so I can relate. I’ve broken both my pinkie toes too many times to count (dropping cans of beans on them, and running into hampers, etc.) The left one’s broken as we speak, has been for weeks, and I still rocked the heels and danced my ass off a few nights ago. I also managed to fall on my ass in the middle of the street last week, too. I usually refer to such happenings as “stephanie moments”, you know the type of shit that only happens to me. Seems as if you have a few “bomani moments”.
by Stephanie
I’m sorry Bo but I am in tears right now. It took me a while to read this because I was laughing too hard.
I hope you are okay though. Iron burns are no joke. I apologize for laughing hysterically.
by Mike Gibbons
Try pouing milk for a bowl of cereal and putting the milk away in the cereal cabinet and the cereal box in the fridge.
by Jarrett
You fakin’ like ESPN didn’t offer to send you a maid service over there.
Humble ass n*gga.
by strong
Bo’ I’m glad to know you’re ok. In my freshmen year at UF I was ironing on the bed in my dorm room and the iron tipped over and burned my arm. I still have a light scar to this day. That’s one of the reasons most of my clothes go to the dry cleaner nowadays!…lol
by Kirk
I stuck my hand into the blades of a ceiling fan once when I lifted my arms over my head to put a shirt on. No bueno.
by Aundrea Love
Nervous about a job interview and I was in the bathroom putting on makeup. Turned my wrist to check my watch– with the open bottle of liquid makeup still in my hand. Spilled mocha makeup down the front of my blouse. Went to get towels to clean up the mess. Slipped in the makeup on the floor and fell on my butt, thereby ruining the skirt. You can’t make stuff like that up.
by Rex
Growing up our back door was elevated pretty high off the ground, about five feet. One week they were doing light construction back there and had to move the steps away from the door. The next morning leaving for school, I open the door and walk out as I was looking back at my mom saying, “See you after schooooooooooooooo…” SPLAT!
Still have the scars 25 years later!
by Rex
This one was such a simple little scratch that almost had major ramifications years and years later…
In ’91 I was on my motorcycle with shorts on. I was straddling the bike walking it backwards out of the driveway when the back wheel dips down, transistioning from the driveway to the street, while my right leg is extended forward. The foot peg scrapes down my right shin with the full weight of the bike and myself… OUCH!
In the years since, any little touch will tear the skin there. It is tissue-paper-thin as it never grew back right. Well, one time on a trip a couple of years ago I scraped it (by the wind blowing on it–well, it seems that easy sometimes), and it got infected, fast… By the time I thought I’d better go to the doctor (being on a trip you delay things like this) he said I was only a day or so away from blood poisioning and having to ampute the leg. A week of antibiotics later and it’s fine. But the doc says I need plastic surgery to graft skin there, since there is a groove in the shin bone preventing the skin to grow properly over it.
I like this… Virtual scar comparisons!
And I can relate with Stephanie. At 6′-3″, I got some boats for feet. They find their way into more walls!
by Kirk
Child’s play, Rex. I wear a size 14 shoe. In San Francisco one year with The Woman for Valentine’s Day, went to dinner, drank a barrel of Crown Royal, came back to the Sir Francis Drake hotel. Beautiful, but ancient. Ancient = tiny. On the way out of the midget-sized bathroom, accidentally kicked the edge of the door, completely ripped my toenail out. Hotel refused to give me any bandages or aspirin (liability). So, hopped in a taxi, went to the Emergency Room for bandages…they gave me 2 humongous Vicodin (and a prescription for same). AFTER I told them I had been drinking heavily.
But, at least I got priority boarding on my 90 min. Southworst Airlines flight home…
by Krista
You went to CHURCH? On your OWN?
by viciousvamp
Um, did I say I wanted your astute commentary on my latest blog, Einstein? LOL… I can’t talk. I fell UP my stairs today…
by Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
Um…dayum Kirk…I feel your pain..I wear size Fiddeens
i had a toenail pop out after I dropped a house speaker (ya know a 15-inch woofer, 8-inch mid and a 2.5-inch tweeter—ya know, the big boom)…on my foot while I was “disciplining” one of my nephews.
Thought it was broke, but X-rays showed I had a deep ass contusion…the nail came out…I was on crutches for a couple of days.
I felt like a complete Maurice Clarett.
Also…there was the time I did a Stevie Wonder impression when i was like 12…minutes after that i tripped over something in my room and got a nice cut above my right eye. My pops (RIP) told me to sit down, keep my hands up and keep jabbing away in the next round as he cleaned my cut and made me an ice pack. he also told me to spit water also.
by viciousvamp
Shoes sizes “boat”, “14”, and “Fiddeen”?
Hmmm…methinks Bomaniland might be the new place to meet guys, assuming the myth is true…
LOLOL…whoo…I crack me up.
by Kirk
Ummm…Fred…how in the hell were you “disciplining” your nephew with a speaker? Is this a page from the Ike Turner Guide to Effective Parenting?
by Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
Naw Kirk…There was no “eat the cake” going on…
I was carrying a speaker outside for a cookout/crawfish boil/beer driking extravaganza. The lil knucklehead was running in the house..as soon as I said..”Stop running in this dam…”, I turned to see where he ran to and I dropped that speaker on my foot.
I was speechless for like a minute. I really wanted to go Ike Turner on the lil’ man then.
But I still felt like a complete Maurice Clarett…I Goosed Up that onek
by Nikki
I call that a case of trying to do to much at one time. When it all falls down, it does.
by Shaana
I knew I shouldn’t have read this at work. I laughed after knowing the damage wasn’t serious. Just make sure to put some cocoa butter on it..
by Tommie Foster
Once during a fire drill at work, I ran into a locked steel door…at full speed. (I ran a 4.5 40 in college). My head hit the door, gave myself a concussion so bad, I could not remember my dog’s name. I’m talking post-concussion syndrome for 6 weeks. Did get workers-comp, though.
by Kirk
Tommie wins.
by Jennifer
Seeeeeeeeee, when *I* called you “a new breed of stupid”, you were offended. Now I feel vindicated.
by Mike Gibbons
Got to agree with Kirk