Lots of people are too cool for Facebook. I can’t pretend I am. Once, I met a woman, got her phone number, called her, and got no response. Hit her up on Facebook and, two years later, we were engaged. No way I can act too good for Facebook after that.
I am, however, too cool to be your fan. Who? You.
You, the realtor.
You, the fraternity member.
You, the rapper that became my Facebook friend trying to mooch off my friends to push you album that I’ll never listen to.
You, the model with no aspirations to be in a magazine.
You, dammit. That’s who. Who.
Nothing like looking down at the Blackberry to find out someone you don’t know wants you to be a “fan” of something you don’t know anything about. I’ll never knock people for trying to push their businesses. Get your money.
But perhaps we need a different term than “fan.” What’s an alternative term? I really don’t know.
But I know that I’m a fan on Facebook of the following people/places/things…
Bob Marley, Randy Watson and Sexual Chocolate, The Beast, Roland TR-808, Cook Out, Pink Floyd, Devin the Dude, Blue Bell Ice Cream, Dave Chappelle, The Wire, Purple Rain, Serena Williams, aden, UGK4Life, Parliament/Funkadelic.
Now, ask yourself — do you, your homeboys, or your album belong on that list?
Did you write something as hot as “No Woman, No Cry?” Do you believe the children are our future? You ride for me like Freelon and Aden ride for me? Can you make the most beautifullest “boom” the ear has ever heard? Did you ever perform live at Pompeii? Are you the greatest TV show ever? Did your catsuit bring me and my father closer? Are you Eddie Hazel?
None of those, eh? Then you’ve got a looooong way to go before I become your fan.
So quit asking.
12 Comments
by Meiz
Don’t make me create a Meiz fan page. In fact, I just got an idear. You’ll see.
by STRONGFORU
Bo’, add me as your friend on Facebook…lol. Just kidding.
by James Edward Dillard
How different is them asking you to be a fan of something than you posting clips of your radio show? Or inviting me to join the Coach Sheed Movement.
(And I ask this as a fan of yours, even though I wouldn’t put you on the same level of my “top writers” of all time)
by James Edward Dillard
yeah, if it all centers around fan, that’s fine but its just splitting words.
facebook is the one who chooses the word fan and you control whether or not you get the emails. but by deciding that you’re a fan what you’re really saying is “yeah, i’m interested in x and would like to see updates.”
i don’t think it’s any of my business to comment on what you hear more about or are interested in. i’m not asking you to be a fan of anything you’re not actually a fan of. but i think you’ve benefitted a lot from essentially the same thing. it’s all self-promotion (at varying degrees of shameless).
keep posting, tweeting and doing your thing, but don’t look down on those who are trying to do the same thing you are.
by robert
IDK what the hell facebook is. I’ve never been on it and probably will never have a page, hell, i barely check my e-mail. In another year or so something will replace it and facebook will become irrelevant like myspace.
by tom sporn
aw hell Bo’, aint nobody Eddie Hazel anymore, and it will be a cold day in August before we hear the likes of maggot brain again. Miss your show here in the D
by Mike
But I was Time’s Person of the Year!
by Hashim Warren
Same story. I asked a woman for a date on Facebook and two years later we’re engaged.
But Facebook is a mess now, so I left. I don’t have time to pretend to be interested in all of friend’s cover bands.
by J-Roc
Facebook kills relationships!!! Yo, I didn’t know you were a fan of Devin the Dude & UGK, but I guess I shoulda known since you from TX. Did you catch Devin when he was at da Cat’s Cradle a few years back? Bananas!!!
by Phil
instead of “Fan” …. “person who would take notice if you stopped existing”. Lets in real friends and things you’d miss with the low bar of noticing , but leaves out random facebookers that know you.