So fellas, you know how you’d like your woman to do all kinds of little things to make your stankin’ ass happy? You know what I mean–adventurous sex with fancy laund-ray and stuff, cooking dinner, leaving you alone when you want to be left alone?
Doesn’t sound so bad when you’re talking to your boys, does it? Well, check how that stuff looks when it’s written down. And read every single line.
The cat that drafted this contract is, incontrovertibly, a wacko. However, I think it might be interesting to consider whether half the things we’d like are a wee bit unreasonable. To that question, I have no answer.
(And no, I don’t think most cat want the more ridiculous things in this contact.)
Also, the Language Arts show on Saturday was off the meat rack. Be sure to check out their site right here (and on the blogroll).
11 thoughts on “Marriage By Contract”
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Damn this contract looks like it was inspired by turn of the century Jim Crow sharecropping agreements.
Got to the damn.
She would have STAYED in GBD debt slavery. Yikes!
“Heh.”
That’s my whole comment. If you don’t understand the tone of that, give me a call lmao.
Where do you find these people, I swear…
OH MY JESUS!!!!!
Man this dude is way past sick….
However, he stuck the “Me time” thing down to a T…lol…
But I think if the wife actually signed this crap, I woulda had to drive to wherever she is and smack the shit out of her myself outta GP for being a damned fool.
Whoa! This dude sounds majorly insecure. I always figured that if you give your partner what they need/want then you will get what you need/want. A contract definitely takes the spontaneity out of the relationship. And this woman was his wife/partner not his slave right?
http://strong11foru.blogspot.com/
This is an all-timer. How could anyone possibly sit there and write this crap without thinking to themselves “Yep, I’m nuts. Oh well.”
What this shows me, however, is that my annual birthday present of an Angels game and a free token to act like a drunken fool in public is just not good enough. Gonna have to step it up bit on that one.
If a guy like that can actually get a woman, there’s no excuse for the rest of us humans (male or female) to be alone. Whether this jerk’s wife signed it or not, you gon’ tell me she didn’t have an inkling what kind of guy she was hooking up with before he presented his “literary masterpiece” to her? She didn’t see this coming AT ALL?
I was thinking the same thing.
That guy was trippin’ with no luggage. It’s a wonder he even got married in the first place.
I’m definitely going to have to agree with the last poster. That’s the kind of crazy that doesn’t appear out of the blue. There had to be plenty of warning signs.
Although that contract was foul and the product of an (obviously) sick mind, I’m not one who’s opposed to contracts in general , even prenuptial agreements. If we were honest, we have plenty of contracts and rules in relationships-they’re just unspoken. Then when one partner violates one of the terms of the contract, the other gets mad. Often the other person can’t understand why. Talking things over and even putting expectations in writing doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t spontaneous, it just means that each person understands what things are truly important to the other.
My man used the words “vaginal slit.” Nuff said.
Ok…….I know that my man was sick for some of his requests, references to body parts and all kinds of other shit, but at the same time the shit had mad genius written all over it. I know I am going out on a limb here fellas, but isn’t it nice to have duties and expectations clearly defined? Let’s take the sicko control facet out of it and the fact that there are penalties away and…….the shit aint half bad. I know I am going to catch some flack, but there was someone on here who discussed the unwritten , subconscience rules. This kat just had the gaul to clearly articulate his and for that he’s OK in my book. I won’t ever do it, but I sure in the hell want to. Especially the “Me time”, bedtime clothing, and Sleep Time on Demand section…genius.
With crazy ass work schedules, kids and the thoughts of the duties for tomorrow, the marital duties are those often neglected and everyone wonders why the divorce rate is so high in this country. It is clear that they were having marital issues to begin with and he thought that this drastic measure was the remedy. He was probably asked that question that we all hear from time to time “What do you want from me? “. He stepped up and answered it sick and in detail. Keep it real he had the balls to say to his girl what it is that he really wanted…..the classic “mother-whore” that we all want, but are afraid to admit. My man clearly knew what he wanted and even though it is “over the top” and he probably didn’t get half of the shit he requested (no matter how crazy the chick is she is still an american woman) it still laid the groundwork for a pretty good discussion and negotiation/terms sheet.
Marriage and relationships are hardwork. How often have we said to ourselves ” I can’t do nothing to make they ass happy”? I know I have and my girl has too. Not only that, but how often have we expected someone to just “know” how to make us happy/please us and they didn’t have a clue and we sub-consciously punished them for it or held it against them silently? That is not true love, but it is true human behavior. Relationships are hardwork and it takes years to establish them. People change and so do their needs. Maybe my man was on the right path when he created this sick genius piece.
I would have loved to see the demands of this fool. It’s no longer accessible.