Paris Hilton is going to jail.
Happens to the best of em sometimes. The worst, too.
But my girlfriend pointed out the most interesting part.
“I did have a choice to go to a pay jail,” Hilton said Sunday, without giving details. “But I declined because I feel like the media portrays me in a way that I’m not and that’s why I wanted to go to county, to show that I can do it and I’m going to be treated like everyone else. I’m going to do the time, I’m going to do it the right way.”
For a look at what “pay jail” is, check this from the Times.
Paris, dear…lemme explain something to you.
THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO DO TIME!!!
The right way to do time is not to do time at all. Keep your sorry ass outta jail. That’s the way to do time. The best way to do time is sleeping on the couch cuz your spouse can’t stand to be around you. You wake up, make breakfast, and pray for the best. That, Paris, is the best way to do time.
But jail? You make it as easy as possible. If I got sent to the joint, you best believe I’d go to pay jail. In fact, if I got sent to jail, I’d authorize every dime I’ve got to be put toward pay jail. Take all the equity out my house. Liquidate my assets. Just keep me out of free jail. Trust me–it ain’t the bargain you think it is. It’s free, and you still get overcharged for it. Sometimes, you don’t get what you pay for.
If Paris Hilton wants to change her image, she should pull a Mark Cuban and get a gig at Dairy Queen or something. Get hobby. Work with black kids or lepers or something.
But the last thing she wants to do is prove a point in jail. That doesn’t work out well for anyone. Whether showing your true proletariat spirit or fighting for your bologna sandwich, there’s not that much room for someone like her to prove a point in the pokey. Make it easy.
I won’t hate on her for it. Neither would most people, to be honest. Except for the folks with the hate in their blood. Different story entirely.
But if this is what she wants, I guess she should get it. Maybe she’ll learn some things about the world. MAybe she’ll learn how to make a grilled cheese sammich with her body heat and mattress. Maybe she’ll see just how sexy a mullet can be on a woman.
More than anything, I bet she’ll see that pay jail was the way to go.
I’d definitely hit that pay jail up. I ain’t got nothing to prove.
But isn’t it sad that Paris now has more “street cred,” than many rappers?!
Paris is lying, the judge expressly forbade pay jail for her.
I’d be all about “pay jail” too…put it on my credit card, sell a few pints of blood…I’m cool with that. Here’s hoping she will use her time to contemplate hiring a driver if she intends to be drunk outside her house lol.
“Work with black kids or lepers or something.”
Is there a difference from Paris’ perspective?
I know it will create a media firestorm the likes of which we haven’t seen since Anna Nicole Smith, but I hope that bitch gets shanked.
Couldn’t agree with Ben more. She’s a douche bag.
How can you get time off for good behavior BEFORE doing the time? 23 days from 45? I think somebody greased somebody.
I kinda got mixed feelings about all this. One the one hand, jail would most certainly be a lot better on the pay-per-cell plan. Laptops and cellphones, that would be kinda clutch.
On the other hand, I dont need anything else taking away what little street cred I have left. As if going to college and law school didnt put me in the “smarty art” camp enough, I dont need cats catching jokes on me for not being able to do a month in GD.
Paris isn’t even getting a real jail experience anyhow. They’ve already said they’re not going to let her mingle with the general population. The punishment for her will just be a lack of personal freedom.
And face it, she’s so out of touch with reality, if they DID put her in with Big Bertha ‘nem, she’d last mere minutes before she said something so utterly stupid that somebody hauled off and beat her ass.
Man…where can we all put in money to bribe some warden to let Paris intermingle with the general population.
Where’s Adabeeze’nem at when you need them? This has an episode of Oz written all over it.
BTW: You think she’s gonna drop the soap?
Alove, I don’t think even Paris would be so stupid as to utter something stupid in GP. She’d probably ball up in the corner… As would I.
I would so go to pay jail. Then again if I was getting my own cell in regular jail in a restricted unit maybe it wouldn’t matter as much
Has ever a more useless person walked the face of the planet than Paris Hilton?
This might be the best piece of writing I’ve ever seen that involved Paris Hilton. Keep up your good work. (But keep the Paris Hilton items to a minimum, please.)
She’s out ALREADY for an unspecified ‘medical’ condition. Isn’t that what the medical wing of the prison is for? And Paris being confined to her house is like me being confined to Great Adventure for 40 days. Whatever.
I’d like to see how the county spins this. Pretty obvious preferential treatment. What kind of message does that send?
And now she’s going back…
“Medical Condition” – I thought they had a cure for the clap anyway?
Oooh that judge is pissed. Not only going back, but now he said she has to serve the whole 45 days.
Even for Paris, that was kind of cruel to let her out, then throw her back in–not the throwing back in part per se, but the process. That’s gonna leave a mark on her psyche.