What I Say?

I told y’all this would happen, though you can’t get to the link when I said it would.
And now, a brief reprieve from all the carnage…and nothing says funny like airplanes.

Two totally different scenarios on this trip. Flew down from Durham to San Diego. First stretch was a quick shot to Cincinnati, one of three cities Delta uses to herd folks onto more packed flights. ‘Twas from there that I went to San Diego, which was about a five hour flight. When I got to the airport, I purposely chose an exit row with no one else sitting on it. Need the legroom, plus it didn’t hurt to have the row to self.
But when I get on the plane, two people are already in my row. Lovely white couple. I got my customary window seat and chilled out. Then, the lady came by with the headphones so folks could enjoy “The Longest Yard”–and I may put more up on that later–and the couple took their headphones. I don’t know when, but them fuckers just dipped and left the row.
Now look…there were no empty rows on the plane. None. There was nowhere that these folks could wind up in a situation better than the sitting with me. Again, my row had legroom.
(Presumption coming.)
Racism–guaranteeing me rows to myself on planes from here on out.
But yanno, I’m okay with racism. See, on the flight from SD to Atlanta on the way back, I had a brother seated next to me. Seemed to be a good dude, save for one fact–he would not shut up.
Look man…this was a 6:30 flight. I got a solid three hours of sleep last night after doing four hours of driving during that day, on top of a full morning of work and hadn’t eaten nearly enough and hadn’t eaten yet that day. Now, this nigga wants to talk to me about everything. Wants to talk about how he doesn’t want a snack. Wants to talk to me about how he’s got women in Atlanta that he can stay with. Wants to talk to me about why the Cowboys are going to the NFC Championship. Wanted to talk to me about everything.
The whole time, mind you, I had headphones right by my ears, but he just kept talking. Uggh.
But when he went to sleep, I went to sleep. Everybody won, right?
Nope. Nigga woke up talking. Telling me about all the pimpin’ he was doing in Atlanta. Telling me why he was going home to Virginia Beach. Telling me nothing I wanted to hear.
I don’t know the last time I yearned for racism, asked God why I wasn’t put in a seat next to those scared white folks, and hated the cameraderie that can be engendered by negritude.
From here on out, it’s terrible white folks next to me on planes. I won’t have it any other way.
Nope.
Viva Racism…but only in the friendly skies.