As most of you know, my mind is scattershot as all get out. Sometimes, it’s scattershot like buckshot. Others, it’s like fifteen eight-year olds throwing whiffle balls. Throw this one in the latter category.
But really, fellas, what would you do for Beyonce? Ladies, throw in some analogous male and participate in this, also.
So, what brings this on? Well, I was sitting on the couch this morning watching Bad Experience Television, and the video for “Soldier” came on. It’s a pretty trite record, but people seem to like it. It’s joints like those that make me wonder if I’m really a person.
Either way, Beyonce and her backup singers get on and start talking about the hoodlums they find to be attractive (never forget–they are from Houston), yadayadayada. Cats with waves, cats that flip money three ways, all that jazz. But Beyonce doesn’t just want a soldier…she knows there are soldiers willing to a million things for her.
Of course she’s right…I’d kick you–yes, you–down a flight of steps for the right to have her reject me. However, it seems I ain’t the soldier she’s looking for.
Could I be a soldier if it required simply puttin’ that on her? I’ll salute, pimpin.
But would I “take one for her?” Slow down there, shawty…
Take one what? Cuz I know she ain’t talkin about a hot cap. I know she ain’t talkin about lead. Take a bullet? You must be out your damn mind.
Nary a woman alive is gettin me to walk in front of a bullet. Nobody. If I had daughters, I’d view it differently, but this ain’t my seed. But those “soldiers” she’s talkin about…please. Think Jigga’s about to check out to keep her safe? He ain’t Kevin Costner, she ain’t Whitney Houston (thank goodness), and it ain’t happenin. The biggest Cap’n Save-A ain’t goin for that one. Well, maybe that Kobe Bean or Doug Christie, but nobody I’d roll with.
But really, what would you do for Beyonce, Serena Williams, or the unattainable woman of your dreams (switch the gender for you, ladies)? Would you take a ride to the hereafter for her? Would you even take a few punches to the face? Do you trust a big butt and a smile that much?
Talk to me…
19 Comments
by C
Yeah man B took things way to far with that one. As it stands right now I am no woman’s bulletproof vest…I’m tryin to live. As for what I would do for a dream woman of mine…say Alicia Keys for example…I’d do as much as she is willing to do for me. Can’t trust a big butt and a smile man…it just might be poison.
by tavares
Beyonce is over rated. She is average at best.
by Elizabeth
There are a few men who I find interesting or attractive, however, I can’t think of anyone that I would kick you (yes you) or anybody down a flight of stairs for, let alone be the recipient of violence for. That includes as little as a push up to the extreme of losing my life. Still contemplating…ok sorry no one. Maybe the options are fewer for us ladies. Or maybe I’m turned off by the prospect of being a groupie there only for a night. I can’t go for sex appeal without quality or substance of the individual. At any rate, I ain’t feeling going down for some dick. No pun intended. Oh and “Soldier” is a banging track, but I don’t listen to it for deepness of lyrics. Destiny’s Juvenile’s CD sucks though in general…Lol at Beyonce is average…most stars are. Makeup artists and airbrushers are underpaid…haha.
by Ben
Ah, yes. I have finally arrived.
I knew a stripper once (well, didn’t really “know” her so much as spend a good eight minutes with) for whom I would’ve done damn near anything. Of course, I think that might’ve been in her job description.
by If all teachers were this hot...
I’ll be the first to admit (behind closed doors) that, despite all my hometraining and my sophisticated college experience (lol) I have a ghetto streak. I am not above throwin’ a few for a man that I think is worth it (but a “worth it” man won’t often put you in a position to throw a few…hence my lack of ‘hood war wounds). Bullets, knives and other personal weaponse are a no-no, undoubtedly. My ass is made for many things. Taking a hot one for a “soldier” with a grill just ain’t one of ’em.
by Kirk
I don’t exactly agree that Beyonce is average. A tad overrated yes, but a damn sight better than average all the same.
It brings up an interesting question, though. What about the most overrated women/men? I nominate Cameron Diaz. Poor girl looks like she took a Charlie Hustle head first slide into first base with a cheese grater in front of the bag.
by strong4u
What would I do to get with someone I really admired? Well if we’re talking an LTR, then I think that both parties should be willing to give equally. Beyonce’ is beautiful but you can bet your last dollar Jay-Z would take a dive before he took a bullet for her.
by tavares
I think that people need to look at it from the other way. I don’t care if you look like jaba or chewy, you should never look at what you are willing to do to get with a person. You should look at it like what a person would have to do to get with you.
by Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
Awite, now Beyonce’s singing skills are overrated…But she still can get some internal plumbing work done by yours truly. Bodywise, she’s far from average. You can tell she’s a big fan of Popeye’s Chicken. (Gee, I wonder if she’ll do a Popeye’s commercial??)
I agree with our illustrious host, ain’t no woman worth getting “Kill’t” over. But Beyonce got a lifetime Popeye’s card..which is, to me, the best thing she got goin’ for her. But even with that card and all the 2-piece specials i can get until I die, taking a bullet isn’t necessary.
I’ve seen some of y’all responses. But Bo’s right, Beyonce and dem hoes, er, Destiny’s Child are from Houston…home of Boppers, DJ Screw, Lil’ Flip and Sharpstown Mall…Their perceived wanting of “souljas/soldiers” does not surprise me a bit.
I’m a lil surprised at Bo’s watching of Bad Experience Television, also known as MTV Dark.
by Kirk
This topic is getting way too serious, so let me suggest some yes or no answers that might help.
For Beyonce’s fine ass, would/could you:
1) Let Michael Jackson take your kids camping?
2) Ask a midget on crutches to try and pull off a 360 dunk?
3) Wear a Kobe Bean jersey to a Heat home game?
4) Throw a beer on Ron Artest?
4a) Buy Allure’s Chapter III album?
5) Ask Mike Tyson if you can get Robin Givens’ (or Desiree Washington’s) home number?
You get the idea.
by C-Dogg
I never thought I would hear the words ‘Beyonce’ and ‘average’ in the same sentence except in regard to singing ability. I must admit that I liked the thick ‘Crazy In Love’ Beyonce better than slim ‘Baby Boy’ Beyonce but even without the extra curves she is still quite easy on the eyes.
No doubt she is a 9 or 10 but I am not taking a bullet for her. There are only 2 women in this world I am dieing for, my mom and my sister. And I bet Jay-Z will tell you the same thing. She has body guards that are PAID protect her so let them catch a hot one. I’ll be running to the limo with her.
In conclusion, is she average? No. Is she worth taking a bullet for? Hell no.
Now, Serena Williams is a different story…
by alldaydre
Beyonce = garbage. And it’s got shit to do with what she looks like. Fuck that she’s from Houston. There are hoods in every city. “Soldier” is a marketing ploy. She’s trying to cash in on the (fake) thugism bandwagon, plain and simple. Ironic, considering that she set the modern standard for the “whiter is righter” black woman. So while we’re still filling the prisons up disproportionately, Beyonce is telling the next generation that the way to attract a girl is to perpetuate the bird-flipping, set-tripping black male stereotype. Why doesn’t she write a song called “Student?” I got more beefs with Beyonce, so for all you bullet-absorbing simps out there, I might just be the nigga on the grassy knoll.
by Kirk
On the other hand, the whole “soldier” thing was around before Beyonce. She isn’t driving the gravy train, she just bought a ticket to ride. And why not criticize men on the other side of it any time the word “ho” pops up on a CD? Isn’t there a risk that girls will develop some equally foul ideas about how to attract a man?
I don’t think Dre is wrong necessarily, I just think that Beyonce isn’t doing anything that a whole bunch of other folks haven’t been doing already.
Of course, if she was ugly, then you’re damn right it’d all be on her.
by Solomeen
OK, I’m gonna assume summa y’all been passin’ the pipe like you were the guest of honor at Ricky Williams’ crib. Let’s get this scraight (That’s what I said…): Beyonce’ is indeed a phine woo-man. However, without a ring and some babies of mine on her ledger, I’m not taking a hot biscuit for Shawty Do-Wop! She’s from H-Town; I’m sure she knows how to duck down. And don’t get it twisted, I’ll eat a Popeye’s two-piece with a strawberry soda with her, but if someone starts lettin’ off, she’d better get all dat bootay under the table with the rest of us civilians.
Only three women I’m taking hot lead for: my wife, my daughter, my momma, and my sister. (Sorry, that’s four — thank you, South Carolina Public Schools!)
Speaking of Houston blowing up, what happened to the first “next big thing” coming outta there — Raheim? I believe it was circa 1988 when that cat dropped a joint entitled “Dancefloor.” I believe his single went double lead.
by Kirk
There’s something I just thought about that one of the readers that posted here indirectly helped me realize. What about all those country music types that take the redneck route and say some foul shit themselves? David Allen Coe is an extreme example..if you’ve never heard of him and decide to check him out, be prepared to be offended regradless of your race, creed, religion, or anything else. The guy is just wrong and needs to be taken down.
Anyway, isn’t this just one isolated part of a bigger problem? It’s bad enough that people find a way to make money off of racial stereotypes, but what about the people paying them (via book and record sales) to do it? Is the ignorance of the masses a suitable explanation, or are there some people who just really want to hear their own fucked up beliefs read back to them with a rhythm section?
by Frank Scott
Wouldn’t do sh*t for Beyonce. That bi*ch is overrated as he!!
There are wayyyyyyyyy finer women in the world. She is played, wish you niccas would catch up