May 6, 2008

50 Cent Gets His Chain Snatched

I think robbery is a really pathetic form of player hating.  Get your own.

That said, if you walk around one of the poorest countries on Earth with a big ass chain on, you deserve to get it snatched.  This here is the funniest video I’ve seen in quite a while, and an educational device for anyone thinking of taking a visit to Africa.

The lesson — them cats want your chain badder than you do.  Know dat.

May 1, 2008

Big Hearted Sportswriters Remain Repressed

I watched Bob Costas’ special town hall meeting for the second time this afternoon.  The bloggers went to town on Buzz Bissinger’s ridiculous rant against Will Leitch — a moment to make some great points that was lost in Bissinger’s decision to launch his candidacy for the Crazy Old Man Hall of Fame — but I’ve seen far less on Costas attempt to discuss race in sports, the most disappointing segment of the show.

You know, a white person whose heart is in the right place, when he or she addresses race and any aspect of the commentary involves something that decries something other than white racism and recognizes the complexity of the issue in 2008, we feel obliged to preface it with about five minutes worth of stipulations that prove that our heat is in the right place because it’s such a minefield.

That was the quote Bob Costas made toward the end of the discussion.  I’d tell you more about the beginning, except there wasn’t much to tell (and this was from a panel with two gifted commentators, Michael Wilbon and Jason Whitlock).

Here’s what I say to Costas and anyone else that thinks what he said was right on — stop telling me about your heart.  I don’t care about your heart.

Look, we all read people that might have bad hearts.  I work in this game.  I know more than a few people with bad hearts.  I don’t care much about that.

At least I don’t care about that in the media.  The problem with white people making points in columns about race is rarely about anyone’s heart.  It’s about their minds.

Most people in this country don’t know a damn thing about race.  To take this even further, most people in the media don’t know a damn thing about race.  That includes members of all races.

Black people are typically considered experts on race because…well, we’re black.  That’s really it.  Now, I’ve got credentials that should indicate to you that I know something about race.  Degrees and stuff, you know.  That said, when people have called me to talk about race and sports on television, it was because I’m black and little more.  I know this because, quite honestly, if people were looking for people to talk about race based upon their ability to deal with the topic in a substantial yet digestible way, I’d be on television a lot more talking about those things.  I wouldn’t be the fourteenth call when the brothers start talking crazy and the masses needed some translation.

Call that arrogance if you want, but I think anyone familiar with my background and familiar with my work would tell you that statement, at the very least, is informed.

Being a good sportswriter, regardless of where your heart is, doesn’t make you a capable commentator on race.  But I’ll be damned if every single black sportswriter can be expected to have some opinion of “race topics,” even though there’s little reason to assume black folks know more about race than white folks other than the fact that we’ve had a different vantage of racism.

So, when’s somebody going to give me the take on racism from the other side.  You know, when is someone going to be asked to come on television and tell me what white people think about something?  When is someone going to ask a white person to explain the thought process of someone that’s said something racially offensive?  When is someone going to give me the white perspective of racism?

And how come no one’s asking?

Which brings me to my original point about why heads, not hearts, are important in this discussion.  How many white media members have given serious thoughts to the depths of racism in this country?  Let’s go past saying racism is wrong — which, when you think about it, is the most notable thing that’s present now in society that was in short supply before — and start explaining the depths of an issue.  How many of my white colleagues can do that?

Those sportswriters that are supposedly reluctant to talk about race because it’s a “minefield,” I bet, have never backed off any other topic because they’re afraid of how they’ll be branded afterwards.  Perhaps this is a special concern for white people, seeing how being considered a racist is a serious faux pas these days.

I know this — I have never, not once, backed off a point when I knew what I was talking about.  That’s not to say I thought I was right, no matter what.  I’m saying that I was qualified and capable of discussing the topic, so I didn’t sweat the responses for a second.  The days I worry about readers are the days when I may have taken a step I shouldn’t have taken, which is a euphemistic way of saying that I wasn’t sure if I had any idea of whether I knew what I was talking about.

[EDIT -- the previous paragraph isn't entirely true.  There are things I've thought that I haven't run with, thinks I was sure of.  That said, that doesn't change the overall point -- fear of being called a racist shouldn't stop someone from offering a nuanced portrait on things.]

This is the part that Costas misses — there are a lot of people with good hearts that think faulty things.  That’s why I’m not sweating that.  I’m friends with people that harbor some racist views, because I do believe their hearts are good.  I wouldn’t read their columns, though, and that’s because they’re good to spit some stuff that just doesn’t make any sense.

The problem isn’t that these white writers are decrying something other than white racism.  The problem, most often, is they don’t know what they’re talking about.  Not even Secretariat had a heart big enough to obfuscate that, whether you’re black or white.

I just ask that people save me the sob story of having a good heart, the same way I need people to stop drilling me with talk about how people don’t mean any harm when they say offensive things.  This isn’t about your heart.  This is about addressing a powerful and pervasive system.  Bad people are as capable of doing that as good people.

But neither of them can do a thing unless they are smart, informed people.  That’s the only part that matters.

April 30, 2008

Fox News Shows More Balance Than Ever

Oh man, this is funny.  I know I’m late, but I had to make sure this was real.  Oh buddy, it is.

In fairness to Fox News, Lincoln and Douglass — with two esses — had planned to debate.  However, they couldn’t find any place where Douglass was allowed to sass and back talk a white man in public.

EDIT — Seriously, when has a black man ever gotten on Fox News without it being approved by a committee?  This is the best.

April 30, 2008

Congrats to the LAPD

Great job, guys.  Another year without profiling a single black motorist.  Keep up the good work!

April 30, 2008

Stop Lyin’ — Beasley Takes Game to NBA

(Before reading, check this kinda sorta disclaimer.  Or if that’s too hard, just know this is nothing more than satire.)

After dominating at Kansas State for one season, National Freshman of the Year Michael Beasley is taking his game to the next level.

Beasley, who scored 26.2 points per game and led the nation in rebounding with 12.4, made himself eligible yesterday for the NBA draft..  Just as impressively, he also bedded 85 co-eds, including a record 60 during non-conference play.  His triple-double the day of K-State’s win over Kansas — when he banged sets of large-breasted twins from home, the road and Africa — was the highlight of his season.

“I just feel like there’s nothing left for me to prove in college.  I need to take my game to the next level,” Beasley said.  “I mean, I can tell these college girls anything and they’ll take off their panties. There’s no challenge in that.  It’s time for me to find out if my rap will be strong enough to pull All-Star groupies.”

He closed out his time at K-State in style by scooping sophomore Becky Schmidt off the ground in the library and asking her to “be Gisele, and [he'll] be LeBron.”  The two then dashed away to a study room.

“I know he makes it look easy,” Schmidt said.  “But he works hard.  Oh my god, he works it hard.”

While explaining his decision to forfeit his three remaining seasons of eligibility, Beasley focused on how the college game had gotten boring to him.  “At first, it’s fun to say to a girl, ‘Hi, I’m Michael.  Wanna give me some dome?’ and get it,” he said.  “But it’s not about that.  It’s about improving my game, and the only place I can do that is the NBA.”

The competition in Manhattan, Kans. wasn’t enough for the Beasley, who stands 6-feet-9.  He says the Big 12 is a major conference, but its Midwestern style was no match for the urban game he brought with him from the Washington, D.C. area.  “I mean, country girls love a tall, light-skinned cat like myself, especially with this accent.  And do you see these hazel eyes?” Beasley said.

The power forward even touched on the hot button of race and how it actually helped his game.  “I mean, these white girls up here had never seen anybody like me.  I mean, except for when they flip past BET.”

Beasley said the ladies wanted the height of intimacy with him.  “Man, they just wanted me to be happy, so they’d poke little holes in the condoms so I could be even closer to them,” Beasley said.  “They said that felt like getting their hands on all the money in the world.  That’s pimpin’ right there.”

Now, Beasley’s taking his wares to the NBA, where every player had strong game in college.  He’ll have to move fast to keep up with grown men after dealing with adolescents.

“I mean, I know it won’t be as easy as it was at K-State,” Beasley said.  “There, all I had to do was whip it out, and they knew what time it was.  But that’s against the law when you get out of college.  Kind of like zone defenses.  I gotta remember that.”

Beasley is known for his uncommon length and huge hands, but he’s worried about picking up new terminology in the pros.  “I mean, it’s funny now, but when I first got to college, I’d never heard ‘brown eye,’” he said.  “Then one day, the light went off.  They wanted it in that other hole.  Who knows what they’ll call it in the pros, it’s essential that figure it out quick.”

To prepare himself for that and other adjustments, he’s hired actor Max Julien as a consultant.  Julien played Goldie in the cult classic “The Mack,” perhaps the most famous film about a pimp.  “Mike has to set the goals high for his game, you dig?” Julien said.  “Otherwise, he’ll never be able to pull a bitch from Hawa’ii or none of that.”

Beasley’s also excited about the trappings that come with NBA stardom – the multimillion dollar contract, instant celebrity and status.  Those things don’t quiet the nagging insecurities Beasley has about stepping up to the next level.

“The money, fancy car, jewelry, haircuts from the best barbers in the world, all of that is great,” Beasley remarked.  “But it doesn’t mean anything if I can’t step my game up.  Unless that stuff is going to get me laid, I really don’t care about it.”

April 30, 2008

New feature at Virtual Bomaniland

April 25, 2008

Detectives acquitted in Queens

Should have seen this coming.  I haven’t followed the case that closely, but this seems one of those times to remind everyone of a watershed issue in American history.

O.J. Simpson got off with a helping hand from Marcia Clark and Chris Darden.  Not stupid black people.  Substandard prosecution is why O.J. was free to break into those fools’ hotel room years later to steal back his own stuff.

Looks like that might have happened here.

No matter what, it’s amazing how often people get off scott-free for putting dozens and dozens of bullets into black people.  It’s gotten old.

(And for those that think race isn’t an issue in this case just because some of the cops were black — race is the issue because of the victims.  Police officers of all races have a terrible track record when it comes to its treatment of black people.  Reference the Prince George’s County Police if you don’t believe me.)

April 19, 2008

What is going on in Chicago?

I’m speechless.

April 18, 2008

1993 was a long time ago…

It’s a quiet Friday night at the Estate.  Flipping through the channels, I saw “Jurassic Park” on TNT.

Got me thinking…will we ever be able to explain to our children just what a big deal “Jurassic Park” was when it hit theaters?  Because, watching it, I can barely explain it to myself.  It’s good, but was it worth putting on a lunch box?

At the time, it seemed like they must have brought the film to theaters using a fleet of DeLoreans.  Now?  Not so much.

April 15, 2008

MAIL CALL!!! ENCORE!!!

Got this doozy a few minutes ago.

With a name like “Bomani,” it’s amazing you’re actually working for a credible news source and not Black News Daily where you belong.

Seriously, why don’t you guys just man up and say it?  C’mon now.