What are networking purposes?

If you haven’t seen, the Michael Jackson documentary is back in rotation. I haven’t said anything about it because, honestly, that’s way far in the rearview. Thanks for all the kind words, but we already went through that here at Virtual Bomaniland about four years ago. I’m not that self-indulgent.
(BTW, for those that have read my madness for years, here’s a throwback to the first installment from my last trip to London for that show. Click and follow.)
Anyway, this has gotten me dozens of adds from new “friends” on Facebook. I’m cool with that.
What threw me off, though, was someone that told me she added me for “networking purposes.”
What exactly does that mean?
Take this from somebody that networked his way from his dorm room to ESPN.com in five years — you’re not going to get it done on Facebook. You’re not the first person with this idea.
And that idea, from where I stand, doesn’t fit with the term “networking purposes.”
If you want to effectively network on the Internet, it can be done. I’ve had the good fortune of being assisted by people I grew up reading, people that I idolized and, in many cases, I never ever spent a moment in the same room. You can make crucial connections online.
But you’re not going to do it just adding someone on Facebook and telling them “I just added you so we could be in touch.”
Wanna effectively network? Show people something.
Now, how do you plan to do that on Facebook?
The idea that the game is about who you know and not what you know is foolish. The game is still about what you know. The thing is…so many people know so much stuff that knowing people is what’ll take you over the top when you want something. Knowing people helps, but the necessary condition is knowing something. Dig?
Every job I’ve gotten has come about because of networking. But it’s because, in the course of meeting these people, they saw something they liked. They thought I could make a contribution. I wasn’t just the first name they thought of. And if were that the case, it was probably because what I knew put me in their minds.
Please take heed of these words because I think they’re what has helped me more than anything as I’ve tried to navigate this crazy game — never ever ever ever ever ask for anything.
Never ever ever ever ever tell someone you’re linking up with them just because you want to know them.
Ask that person if he or she wouldn’t mind helping you with your work. Ask that person if you can bring them questions when you have them. Find a way to work with that person.
After all, the work is what’s bringing you together, right?
But this game is, was, and will be about work. Everyone involved has too much to lose for it to be about anything else.
You will not, however, schmooze your way into anything but someone’s bed. Seriously.
There are quite a few people, younger and older, whom I’ve gotten very close through this site because they got in touch with me looking for help. Michael Arceneaux is one of my favorite writers. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten him any work. That said, I’d like to think he is better off for the conversations we’ve had about writing (I know I am).
That’s way more important than any job.
So if you see someone out there, don’t be afraid to talk shop with him. You never know who will reply, and you’ll never know who will remember you.
But don’t come into it looking for something. If you want to network, then you need to meet people. Establish relationships. You can’t establish relationships on that drive-by kick. You will not find your future on Facebook or MySpace. You will find it in your words.
Don’t be afraid to share those words. In the end, they’re all that will matter, no matter who likes you and how much.