A few things, actually, but this is the one for public consumption.
I’ve always used a few heuristic devices to tell what the vibe of a city is. Specifically, I look for ways to know a city ain’t playin no games. One of them has been to avoid cities where people routinely walk around without shirts (save for most beach towns). That’s just not a good sign.
Well, here’s one I picked up in Baltimore. Whenever you see a plethora of grown men, like in their 40s, with corn rows, this ain’t no place for you to be.
More on Bmore later.
16 thoughts on “What I Learned in Baltimore”
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
been to charm city a few times… yeah, I kinda agree with that, but I haven’t been through it as much as I would like. The people make a place and I tend to think anywhere you go can be good if you see enough of it, but from the few times I’ve been, I’ve always enjoyed it.
I always give the side-eye to any grown ass man 40+ with cornrows who are not in the music industry or an athlete. Sumthin’ sumthin’ just ain’t right about that.
Just curious, but what is your summation about a place where you DO see grown men with corn rows? I mean you said it “ain’t no place to be”, but I’m wondering what does that specifically tell you about the place?..;)
Co-sign the shirt thing.
I’d have serious questions about the decision making ability of any balding guy with cornrows.
Also, avoid any place where there are scores of able-bodied but idle men on the street on weekdays.
And people drinking out of brown paper bags = bad news.
Bo: I can’t take credit for this heuristic device but, I have a friend who says if you see too many women pushing baby strollers in the street (as opposed to the sidewalks) it’s time to pick another city. This she concluded after a house-hunting trip
No, I SWEAR I was in a spot in Oakland and ran across a balding white dude with cornrows. He had to be in his 50s. His cornrows started at the very top of his head. I almost did a spit-take with my Long Island.
Curious who “Alove” might be, or what spots they frequent in Oakland.
I’m from 51/E14th, but live in livermore now. If we have a Oakland/HBCU/Bomanijones.com coincidence here, that’d be something.
To the post: I’d say multiple 30 year olds (and up) w/ cornows (or perhaps “cornROLLS” if you’re from the deep south) are just as alerting as 40 year olds.
Other warning signs:
>More stereo or rim shops than grocery stores.
>Related: No grocery stores, period.
>More cigar variety than juice variety in the local stores.
>Any old (say 1980s or earlier) campers just parked on a city street. (I mean, who smokes Pineapple Optimos anyway?)
>A big “no sex/no condom” billboard (oh sorry, that was in the movie Blood Diamond, but the point remains valid)
>A billboard politely reminding citizens that an unregistered firearem will earn you a 25+ year prison sentence.
>An abundance of “donut”-style tire marks in intersection(s).
>Multiple anthills on the pavement, that, upon closer inspection, turn out to actually be little piles of “Swisher guts”.
>Related: A sign in the store parking lot that says “no blunt dumping”.
> Condom wrappers. EVERYWHERE.
Okay, I’ll stop. Obviously, those of us from the rougher environments have a natural advantage here. LOL.
@ dameSTAtus: Hey! I’m from the South Bay (San Jose) and I just moved to San Leandro (the armpit of the damn universe, if you ask me) because I was working in SF at the time. I’m not a product of an HBCU.
I don’t go to Oakland too often because I do a lot of partying by myself (no one to tell on me, ha!) and as female I get harassed.
That particular time I was speaking of, I was at a place called the “End Zone”. I believe that was also the first time someone pointed out to me an authentic crackhead.
What about you?
Wow, that was a helluva friend that invited you to the End Zone..
I mean that in a good and bad way. That’s actually around the corner from where I grew up. Kind of a rough n tough place, but I’m sure you know that. You probably went on Wednesday, which is “ladies night”, not to poo poo on my own, but I will admit that there were women present….
Anyway, I attended Morehouse, and I work in SF now. LOL at the San Leandro/Armpit comment.. Pretty accurate. Nothing there in terms of culture, or anything else for that matter. It’s kind of like Oakland’s private “overflow” zone, being that they run into eachother near 110th avenue in east oakland. Crossing that line is like day and night though, in terms of perceived safety. I’ll give 20 dollars to the first person who can obtain a pic of 10+ 30 year old cornrowed men in San Leandro. Won’t happen.
I’ll look for you in here more often. Oh, and I found Bomani’s site kinda just through clicking links on blogs.
His having attended CAU, and also being in journalism, it was a natural fit for me to be a fan of his site. I’m actually a retired blogger, that’s me (Dame) on his blogroll. (don’t go laughing at my efforts)…..
I’m having a hard time believing that you never saw an authentic San Jose crackhead though! Maybe a meth head?
Let me know!
Borrowing a little from Dave Chappelle but if you see little kids (ages 0-12) out late at night you are probably not in a great environment.
Actually that friend that took me to the End Zone was my ex. I wanted to see some of the seedier sides of life (and wa’n’t NO WAY I was going alone, not that I would have known where to go anyhow). We used to go on Saturday nights when I was feeling like walking on the “wild” side.
I went to Cal State Hayward, went to work in my chosen field, worked in PR in SF for a minute (it was the reason I moved to SL to be near BART), regretted that decision and went back to working in my chosen field.
I also stumbled upon this site serendipitously; I was looking up some random slang word and it came up in his site and I came to check it out. Never left.
Oh, and I’ve been hideously sheltered; I’ve just never noticed the crackheads and meth heads of the world until just recently.
Here’s to hoping I can “build” a shelter as big as that one A Love, for my soon to be born son.
Somehow the corner of 51st and International was immune from any sheltering, no matter how hard my family tried.
See you in a future post, I think we inspired today’s post…
Wishing all my beautiful people well.
Uh … Bo … didn’t you got UNC?! Professor Perry Hall – at least 55 – rocked cornrows on the regular! AND dude had a bald spot!!
Bo, be easy on my hometown homey. I know we are a tad bit on the ghetto side but we have a way about us that is rather charming. But like I said be easy on B-More
I must admit that the hubby and I got “ganked” by effective real estate marketing and moved to ATL’s burgeoning Midtown West (nee ‘Bankhead). After living here for nearly 6 months, it is really cool and we’ve settled nicely. However, a sistah would have made some different decisions if I would have paid attention to the handwriting on the wall:
*How ’bout NO sidewalks?
*A peddler whose shingle reads “Home of the Yellow Meats(yes, MEATS)” as in watermelon
*5 chicken/wing shacks/Fish Supremes within a .1 mile radius
*Where fLustrated = fRustrated (figured out when eavesdropping on conversations on the train to work)
*A prevalence of dudes with PacMan Jones dreads/fresh white tees with looks of fLustration on their faces
*”Mihlady” (“Miss Lady”, no?) is a term of endearment from the PacMan look-alikes when I’m filling my gas tank
That’s what you learned?
Chapter 2 is riding by those same people in a Rolls Royce with the top down for 15 minutes.
The hood showed us mad love, in a Menace II Society kinda way.