25–Characters from The Wire

I’d originally titled this “Favorite Characters…”, but I don’t like the feel of that. Some of the folks are high on the list because i think the character’s a fascinating construction. Some are on there just because I like them. Some I utterly detest, but I just respect Simon and Burns for how they came up with them. It’s a sliding scale, to say the list, but let’s go…
25. Donut. So the kid does nothing but steals cars. But tell me there isn’t something really funny about a kid pulling a slim jim out his sock and breaking into a teacher’s car because he locked his keys in. Reminds me of the time someone taught me how to use a credit card to get into my dorm room, whihc let me know exactly where to look if any of my shit came up missing.
24. Wee-Bay. Sure, Wee-Bay’s killed more people than I’ll invite to my wedding. But how can you not like the dude? Really, it’s kinda hard. You know, with the fish and all. Further, there’s something eminently respectable about him taking the weight for all those murders after agreeing to life with no parole. As slick a trick as there’s ever been.
23. Randy. Talk about being trapped in the game. Randy has no place in it, but he’s knee-deep in everything. This is walking proof that, while a lot of parents are dropping the ball, the state’s seriously complicit in a lot of the misery children experience. Also, we all figure that Randy is Cheese’s son–they both have the last name “Wagstaff,” and the Wagstaff’s ain’t own but so many slaves, if you dig–and I’d love to see what would happen if Randy had to go live with his father. Talk about fascinating television…
22. Dukie. He’s the kid we all rooted for on Season Four, if for no other reason than he seemed to lose when it came to everything beyond his control. His parents are addicts that sell his clothes. He gets socially promoted to high school, and he’s so nervous about it that he just stops going. And, in a twist that was totally predictable but straight out of left field, he winds up on the corner. Just sad, man.
21. D’Angelo Barksdale. I have such an affection for characters that aren’t cut out for the game. At the same time, D makes this list because he’s such a MORON. He talks too much! He grew up in this. He knows better. That makes him so interesting, even though the game ain’t for him in no kind of way.
20. Wallace. He was a kid that played with toys while he slang dope. He was also a grown man that took care of a slew of children, making sure they got to school, had their lunches, did their homework, and ’bout everything else. To this day, his death is the most chilling moment in the history of the show.
19. Jimmy McNulty. Now, I always felt like the show centered around Jimmy in the beginning because this show would be impossible to sell without a typically white leading man. Jimmy’s a lot of fun, and Jimmy’s messed up in ways that make you realize what a good handle you’ve got on things. But Jimmy, when it comes down to it, isn’t that compelling. He’s just fun. However, I hope I don’t become a tortured know-it-all. Being a pleasant know-it-all is good enough for me.
18. Herc. Just for reminding me how thankful I should be that I was born with common sense.
17. Ziggy Sobotka. Congratulations to the creators of The Wire. You created the single dumbest TV character in history. If stupidity was a game, Ziggy would be Jim Brown.
16. Frank Sobotka. Season Two is underrated, primarily by those that just wanted standard dope-and-guns fare following the first season. Sobotka’s so interesting because he got trapped in the game just like the cats in the projects often do (and like Michael does in Season Four). However, I did get the feeling of greater sympathy in the writing of his character than many of the others. Not knocking the writers if that’s the case, but just pointing it out. Am I the only one that saw that? Or am I being presumptuous?
15. Bunk. He’s way-high on my “I could hang out with this dude” list. Plus, his interactions with Omar are great, great television.
14. Namond Brice. The thing with Namond is that he’s a kid all the way. He didn’t grow up fast or anything like that. He’s just a kid, and one that’s fairly easy to relate to if you don’t get caught up in the fact that his family business is heroin. All the hollow tough talk of a 13 year-old, all the palpable insecurity, and all the confusions. Perfectly written.
13. Stringer Bell. When this clown got killed, I would only have been happier if it went slower. A snake to the N-th degree. Funny how he wanted to make the business “legit” but was less trustworthy than anyone else. Start sleeping with a dude’s wife while he’s doing 20 years for you and yours…THEN you have the dude killed? Why couldn’t they have set him on fire?
12. Avon Barksdale. The interesting part about Avon is that, in spite of all the hassles of the game, he clearly enjoys it. He didn’t ever want to get out of it. That was the game he played. Perhaps he felt trapped in it, but he knew what Stringer didn’t–there was no branching out. They were in their place, on their blocks, trapped like most people on those blocks, no matter what money they made. “Just a gangster, I suppose.”
11. Marlo Stanfield. Proof of how scary this character is–the actor that portrays him tried to pick my fiancee up in New York, and the mere thought of it made me a little shaky. I wonder if he had two folks with him that never smiled, one of whom never brushed his hair. That would really suck.
10. Proposition Joe. First, he’s gotta die this semester. He’s played this game too long not to be done by now. But man, you gotta pay attention to every word Joe says because there’s no telling where the con is. But it’s there.
9. Brother Mouzone. Ever seen the sketch of the shooter in Biggie’s murder? It is Brother Mouzone. And based on the fact that said shooter ain’t been caught, he must be just as effective.
8. Michael Lee. It’s funny how the properties that makes someone a leader in a legit world are the same in the dope game. Mike’s stand-up, honorable, and fearless. That would make a great politician. And a great dope dealer.
7. Spiros/The Greek. Wanna know the hierachy of things? The Greek’s got somebody at the FBI. This game is rigged, man.
6. Bodie. If you watch the show and don’t love Bodie, then I don’t know what your problem is. He grew up with us, and his murder was predictable and still a blower. I felt like Bodie was an example of the accelerated lifespan of a hopper, showing how someone is truly old and weathered at 19.
5. Clay Davis. The grimiest character on the whole show, and the provider of the funniest scene so far (in Royce’s office after he got subpoenaed). Sheeeeeit!
4. Bubbles. Just feel bad for dude. He’s so interesting because he’s clearly a smart dude that made a really bad decision–to try smack. I’m so glad I grew up as cocaine was getting played out and heroin was out of my world.
3. Lester Freamon. I want to be like Lester when I grow up, and not just because my fiancee keeps saying he’s a “nice looking older man,” which is her diplomatic way of saying…well, anyway. Lester’s cool, smart, principled and will lay a disrespectful youngster out. Like I say–what I wanna be when I grow up.
2. Bunny Colvin. As you can see, I like cool old heads. Like no one else on this show, Bunny gets it. Don’t think he’s in Season Five, and that’s a shame, but there was nothing left for him to do. He was the conscience of his narrative, and I’ll miss him. Plus, that threat he made to the hoppers in Hamsterdam was the clearest example this show has seen of how the ability to relate in both worlds makes it a lot easier to get a point across.
1. Omar D. Little. It’s kinda cliche to talk about what a great character Omar is–the honorable homosexual stick-up boy. It’s a swirl of seeming contradictions, but it makes for the perfect character. He didn’t fully earn the top spot with me, though, until he walked into Prop Joe’s shop with that clock. I see no way he survives Season Five, except for the possibility that Simon will use Omar as a way to show that institutions kill people, meaning the man that exists on his own will have a better time surviving.
Now, if you watch The Wire on HBO OnDemand, dont’ come on here giving the episodes away. I’ve got DirecTV, so I’ve got to wait. Don’t blow it for me, please.
Or anyone else, but especially me.