This just won’t stop being funny.
But the best part, to me, is not the gay bomb. The gay bomb is just sad. But this here is funny.
Another idea was to develop a chemical causing “severe and lasting halitosis”, so that enemy forces would be obvious even when they tried to blend in with civilians.
In a variation on that idea, researchers pondered a “Who? Me?” bomb, which would simulate flatulence in enemy ranks.
Indeed, a “Who? Me?” device had been under consideration since 1945, the government papers say.
However, researchers concluded that the premise for such a device was fatally flawed because “people in many areas of the world do not find faecal odour offensive, since they smell it on a regular basis”.
You know the BBC couldn’t wait to publish this one.
10 Comments
by Ben
Jesus Christ, how am I supposed to have even the slightest bit of faith in my government when they spend even one second pondering this shit?
by Rex
It starts with silly side effects like those mentioned, but where does it end? And if it did progress, how severe of a lasting side effect would be inflicted on any given society?
Kind of makes you wonder about certain things that plague our society, that they could have been “government induced.”
Scary…
by Kirk
People really have to stop pretending that stuff like this is new or outrageous. Most governments have been doing things like this for decades.
Besides, $7.5 million over 6 years is probably just a fraction of the Pentagon hand soap budget. Even if they had approved it, which they didn’t, it’s effectively nothing. No one was ever taking this seriously. It’s a meaningless story.
by Left Coast Vic
The funniest line to me is, “… people in many areas of the world do not find faecal odour offensive, since they smell it on a regular basis”.
I was watching this documentary about the training of Iraqi military forces. Interestingly enough, it showed their barracks and facilities which were fairly standard issue. The one glaring omission was the lack of toilet paper. One of the soliders interviewed hinted that they wouldn’t use it anyway.
I could never believe that you could get used to the smell of crap. But I guess that if you walked around your whole life with shitted ass draws, I suppose it wouldn’t be such a big deal.
by ETS
It also wouldn’t work because of all the gay soldiers and funky breath soldiers and gay soldiers with funky breath in the American military. They’d get confused and start killing their own.
by Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
Boy, boy boy!!!!!
Now that’s some shit there, no pun intended. The gay bomb thing sounds like a bad SNL skit gone awry.
How come the government couldn’t make weapons like in Marvel Comics. A “who pooted” weapon? Hell, they coulda gotten some bums or criminals and doused them with chemicals like Luke Cage or fused metal into skeletons like Logan. At least give us that much, rather than a “It’s Raining Men” bomb and a weapon that can be neutralized with a little Bean-O.
That’s worser than Southern politicians getting behind banning cocaine because they said the black dudes that snorted up got so riled up they’d rape any white women nearby.
by Rex
Vic, getting used to the smell is one thing… What about the “itch?”
by Left Coast Vic
Rex, you went there.
Imagine the shit, sand, sweat mixture after a hard day of training in the desert. My joint would need to be put out with a fire extinguisher.
Then again though, would you get used to the itch as well?
by david
if they could make a vaporized form of viagra and spray it on enemy soldiers, that would actually be awesome. dont think of it as a gay bomb, some lacky intern probably named it that. think of it as a “holy shit now everyone is sexually awkward bomb.” who could fight with a four-hour hard-on like the ones in the cialis commercial? “uh, captain, i gotta go take care of something.” kudos to the government for thinking outside the box.
by Thaps
Actually, the Iraqi tradition of not using toilet paper is combined with the general Asian tradition of using water to clean yourself off afterwards.
It may not be the “best” way to do it, but when done right, it works at a sufficient enough level to prevent the spread of disease or germs.