Well, today, your favorite contributor of informed recklessness grew up all the way…
How? I just had to break the IRS off with cheese instead of getting it back. And they might want more.
I hate being grown.
See, in college, high school, etc., the question is whether you’ve gotten your refund yet. At this point in life, the question is, “did you do your taxes?” See, the answer could go either way. Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems? Maybe for us, but Uncle Sam loves to see you break more bread. Cuz he’s coming for his. And that which he did not already take, he wants. You can come off it or he can come get it. You always wanna vote for coming off it. Trust.
But the grown part of this was that I had to file an extension. I needed time to figure out just how much I was gonna have to break off. Threw the man what I figured I owed him, but it might be more. I might have to get an accountant, some socially maladjusted bastard that really gets off doing this shit. That’s really bonkers, but if it saves me some bread, I’m down. I’ve got four months, though, to read the good (bad?) tax code and handle mines.
But do you know how much it hurt to throw those zeroes at the man and know it was probably just a down payment? But do you know how good it felt to know that I had it to sling? Complaints about bills tend to bother me, particularly when one stepped into those obligations voluntarily. But owing more tax means making more bread, and that’s a lot better than getting a refund check that won’t even cover a month’s rent. And it ain’t like it ain’t already your own damn money.
Yes, April 15th is the worst day of the year. Not even close. Well, the 18th will be worse. Five years to the day that Jon died.
Perspective. It’s something else. Take the loot. Ain’t nothin in the grand scheme.
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To answer Lemar’s question, click here.
Who was Jon?
The one thing that bothers me so much is that Uncle Sam is so strick about when he gets his money but could care less about when you get yours. If you’ve figured things right and he owes you, he’s in no hurry to get you that refund check. But the real catch is, if he really wanted his money so bad, he wouldn’t make it so hard to figure out how much you owe him in the first place. Uncle Sam is the only cat who can legally get away with telling you that you owe him without being straightforward about how much, and then arrest you if you don’t fork over enough loot. Isn’t that extortion? It would only make sense that if he wants his money, he should send me an itemized bill like everyone else instead of making me figure it out. If he wants it bad enough, it’s in his best interest to make it easier for me to give it to him. Why should I have to read volumes in order to write myself a bill? And if I’m illiterate because what I paid for didn’t come through with it’s side of the deal, that doesn’t even excuse me from having to pay it, that sucks! Uncle Sam, as much as I dislike him, I have to give him his props, he’s a smart devil, he’s the only legitimate cat who has managed to become rich doing nothing. If the rest of us were doing that, someone would end it quick.
Taxes are a bitch. I’ve been paying them for let’s see… 4 years now. It is a bitch. Last year, I had to file an extension, too. what a bitch.
The genious thing about sam is, he can miscalculate what you owe him, make you pay the new amount (and ruin your life if you don’t), take forever to correct the issue, and earn interest in the mean time. Blah. At least he’s an uncle, right?
Them diabolical son bitches at the IRS! I feel like my refund is the least Uncle Sam can give me for the way he dips in my check every goddam 2 weeks. And as excited as I am when I get my refund, it’s just my own damn money. It’s like getting excited cause a nigga that you loaned 1000 dolllars to from January to December picks up lunch at Burger King in April. “Wow, good looking on the whooper dog. Wait a minute nigga!”
On another note, R.I.P. to J. Boone, G.Sands III and all the other good brothers we lost too young and too soon.
You wanna know the worst part about taxes? The approaching of April 15, and people are CRAZY trying to beat the deadline, and knowing that the little refund you did get got spent before you even knew you had it because of damned direct deposit.Sidenote: Teachers are WAY underpaid. Give all of your old teachers still in the system a call and see if they need you to wire them some “thank you” money…they probably do.
“thats the reason that black men hide in the womb holmes
cause life is all taxes and tombstones” – ras kass