Man, the Messiah is mad as all get out! I was outside today on campus, and I saw a cat holding up a banner that said, “GOD IS ANGRY WITH THE SINNER!”
Wait, ain’t that everybody?
Most of you know that I’ve got an aversion to organized religion, and it’s these cats that do it to me everytime. The picture these dudes painting had Jesus kickin’ up dust, stompin’ his feet, and muttering all sorts of non-niceties at the world.
And just in case we didn’t know, there’s a cat walking around Chapel Hill in a dirty suit–with no tie–making sure we know that Jesus is irate, Jack. Irate.
No he’s not.
At least I don’t think.
Or maybe I’m just confused.
I’m a big fan of the most ideal portraits of Jesus, those that show him as a kind, loving, forgiving soul. You know, the kind of cat most of us would like to roll with, the sort of father most of us would love to have (and some of us do). But man, this father’s the type to come home and break a bunch of stuff after he comes home from work and doesn’t see his dinner on the table.
Ease up, Jesus!
Correction–ease up, buddy in the dirty suit.
You’re losing a good dude everyday with that madness.
Lost me a long time ago, and I generally believe most of the same stuff as those cats.
Well, save for that afterlife thing. Once you go, you go. I’m doing what’s right now because that’s what I should do. Don’t need enforcement on the back end.
But what this cat didn’t see was that the posse of folks watching him spit his lit was full of laughter. People have a gift for identifying wackos. Those that listen to them are, well, wackos. History has proven that many times over.
But that’s what I saw on my way to get some Chap Stick. I saw that God’s angry with me. Not really sweatin’ the tsunami too much. But he’s hot with me.
I think I need a drink.
Still trying to figure out if it’s religion that bothers me so much, or if it’s just the most vocal practitioners. And more and more, I wonder if you can get one without the other.
We’ll see.
Or not.
Who knows?
Do you?
14 thoughts on “Jesus is angry!”
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It’s definitely gotta be the implementation, not the message itself. At the core, every religion has the same basic underlying theme: Don’t be an asshole. The problems come when everyone starts bickering over what the definition of an asshole is, and what to do about it if someone happens to be one.
Bomani: For once, we agree. All men , (and women), are born into sin. My grandma always said: “you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar!”. (Or somethin’ like that). At any rate, applying that theory to Christianity, these far right-wing conservatives and other assorted nuts should realize that you can win more souls for Christ with love and compassion than with messages of fear and intimidation.
I’ve always said…If I do wrong on this Earf (lol)..then I’ll go to hell…But eternal damnation won’t be as bad as I would think because of…
THE CONCERT IN HELL!!!
Yeah…all your favorite musicians will be there performing their souls out (literally) for all eternity…
You’ll get R. Kelly, Marvin Gaye, Jimi Hendrix, Left Eye, Jay-Z, ‘Pac, Biggie, Easy-E and other legendary acts…
Remember, the concert lists keeps getting bigger everyday…Who else y’all think would get on the concert bill????
George Carlin said it best:
“When it comes to bullshit; big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion. No contest…religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever ’til the end of time…
…but he loves you! He loves you, and he NEEDS MONEY!”
Amen, brother George.
The problem with religion is that almost everyone thinks theirs is right and everyone else’s is wrong. Muslims think Jewish people are going to hell. Christians think Muslims are going to hell. Catholics, Hindus, Protestants, and Buddhists, all of them think that the others are wrong. Some don’t say $hit but others are quick to point out that you are wrong and it’s those that turn people away from religion.
Believe it or not my sinful behind was raised in the church. I did it all, Sunday school, vacation bible school, choir (where I did my share of solos), I was even doing some ushering for awhile. I was a good little Baptist boy but after I began to see how jacked ALL organized religion is I lost interest. Except for a couple of funerals that I HAD to go to and a family reunion I haven’t set foot in a church since 1998.
Think about it. The Catholic Church complains about gay marriage like it is the end of the world then just sits back and lets priests screw alter boys left and right. Baptist churches have more scandals going on them most daytime soaps. This is enough to make anyone question their faith.
The bottom line is this… I choose to live my life as I see fit and when my time comes I will suffer the consequences. I am nice guy who tries to help everybody while not hurting anybody. I am not saying that I haven’t but when I do I make up for it (if possible) and I learn from it. If I get to the gates of heaven and I can’t get in then maybe I don’t need to be there. Send me hell so I can see Rick James, the reunion of N.W.A., Sammy Davis Jr. and all the others.
Some of the biggest devils in the world are at church every Sunday.
Just my 2 cents
Bomani’s note – I’m a big fan of folks that know their own HTML. I see ya, C-Dogg!
I think that religion is what it is and nothing more. One of the fundamental ideas of most religions is that you are ultimately responsible for what you do and say, not your preacher, not your priest, etc, but you. So, regardless of what brother deacon is doing with the pastor’s wife or what the father is doing with the alter boys, you need to accept responsibility for your actions, just as they are responsible for theirs.
As c-dogg said, some of the biggest devils in the world are in church. To add to that, the rest of them are not in the church – regardless of where you go, there are devils and there is nothing that you can do about them. Just do you and spread positivity to the world. Rather than bash religion outright (not saying that anyone is but people do), focus on the positives and life lessons that religion offers and live your life to the fullest.
Peace
I don’t bash no one’s religion..because they all:
1. Have flood stories
2. Have endtime stories/armageddon/apocalypse/rapture
3. Have stories of kings with a fidelity problem
4. Have basic rules to live your life
5. Have sections that can be easily misconstrued to serve one’s pupose (see: slavery justification)
6. Have something about karma/what comes around goes around
man fugga HTML knowledge…so that makes C-Dogg smarter than the rest of us… well lemme ask him this…can he kick, my ass!?!?! (insert laughter with the old Chris Rock references)..
I forgot some more people for the lineup to the Concert in Hell..
1. Mariah Carey-just of Glitter alone
2. Bobby Brown & Whitney Houston
3. Geraldo (rico suave)
4. Fred Durst
5. Eminem
6. 50 Cent
7. Fat Elvis Presley
8. MC Brains
9. Digital Underground
10. Madonna
11. Bobby Womack (just can’t go to your boy’s funeral with his suit on your back and his ol’ lady on your arm-correct me if i’m wrong)
12. Rockwell
13. Aaron Hall
14. I guess the original five Temptations
15. Tyrone Hill, KRS One, David Wingate, Earvin Johnson (UNO Earvin Johnson) –Even in Hell, somebody gotta work security!!! Who better than them hounds?
16. Lil Jon
17. Dave Chappelle (thanks to the skit with the kids)
18. Eddie Murphy of the 1980s/early 90s
19. I’m scared to say this man’s whole name because he’ll just pop out of nowhere and beat the crap out of people…so I’ll say “Mr. M. Knight”
20. Bob Johnson of BET, I mean MTV dark..
I’m telling y’all..the list gets bigger every day!!!!
First off, Lady hit the nail on the head, no question about it.
Second, thanks to Fred for commenting a second time before I did so I don’t feel like a blog-whore.
But here’s a thought. Hell is named Hell for a reason. What if the concert is nothing but a round-the-clock tour of the “Slim Jim Hip-Hop All Stars”, featuring the Macho Man Randy Savage (yes he has a rap album, and I use “album” lossely), Vanilla Ice, Everlast, and Snow? Maybe even have Flav and Brigitte’s unborn child as the opening act? That’s scary beyond words.
Could be worse though, at least Savion Glover won’t be there with his string section.
Late as I am, let me say this….I have, correction, had been in a christian school environment from 1st to 12th grade, uniform and all, not Catholic but Lutheran and then Apostolic. I also went from a Baptist church to a A.M.E. church ….are you keeping up?
Well, with these past experiences I’ve seen my share of religious folk act a fool. I know exactly what it is that the preacher’s kids do, (So when you think of that line in the Preacher’s Son song, “the only one that could ever reach me, was the son of a preacher man,” let your mind wander to exactly what that son was doing….breaking all kinds of commandments and various rules all over the Bible), how some adults can’t get their selves right half the time and some pastors are just wrong..plain wrong.
But as mentioned before you learn some of the basic principles that all religions have…be nice to your neighbor, love all people, do right, help others, etc etc blah blah blah, which leads me to believe that the original religion or whatever you call it was never meant to be spun off into all these different versions. But if religion is a path you want to take, then you do have to make a choice. Pick one. And that is all religion is. A choice to choose who to serve (or not to serve). I’ve made my choice while others have made thiers. And while everyone seems to be judging one another (me included) the one thing I been saying lately is: You take that up with God when you get to Heaven. (Or where ever it is that your religion says you go after death. Or like Bomani, don’t go.) You do you and don’t worry about the religion pushers. Ultimately you make your own choices. And that is all religion is about: Making choices.
Bomani’s note – actually, I thought religion was really about a set of rituals and all that. Do we need to delineate religion and sprituality? And where does the organized component of things come into play?
To address Bomani’s note I do have a separation between spirituality and religion. I believe that sprituality is the foundation of ones faith and religion is the shit that people have put on top of that. For example, if you say you are a Christian and believe in any rituals or behavior that is outside being “Christ-like” then you are dealing with religion. But if you just have a relationship with your particular higher power, if you believe in one, then that is spirituality.
The source of my alienated from Church for so long was the people who attended the church. And it wasn’t even all the people…you know just the cat who did the guilt prayer for offering, the women in the front of church tryin to get the pastor to cheat, the cheating pastor, and of course them cats who knew how to beat you over the head with a Bible better than they knew the true principles within it. I figure if you take them clowns out and look for your particular truth through some kind of spritual connection then you just might be on the right track…
Oh yeah Kirk I’m feelin you on the Slim Jim Hip Hop All Stars, but you forgot to mention Mr T. as the headlining act…and yes, he did have an album in the 80’s. It was as bad as you could imagine. Peep “Mr. T’s Commandments” for some hell on earth.
Organized Religion….*thinking* Isn’t it all organized? So does that really change anything? Or is it the fact that people who don’t go to church or are a part of a specific religion aren’t considered organized? Since the people who don’t believe in a specific religion but just God or a higher power say that they are spiritual, does that mean that they are a part of the Non-Organized Religion community? Which means that first they must choose to be organized or not and if they want to follow those set of rules and rituals. (Just a question: Does that mean religious holidays are rituals?)
As far as the organized component, hmm I guess it means the comings and goings to church at certain times on certain dates, worshiping with the masses, participating in church activities, following the guidance of the pastor and other higher ups in the church….you see where I’m going, the rules that are spread all over the Bible as opposed to the spiritual folk that just pray and do their own thing when it comes to their God and try to live a good life as a good person.
Awite, allow me to play Devil’s Advocate (one of my favorite roles and movies). Let’s just end all of these grandiose-ass comments this by asking this question:
If the bible says that we are all the church, then what is the need for Potter’s Houses, Creflo Dollar, Jimmy Swaggart, the 700 Club, building funds, churches and yaddah yaddah?
I’ll tell you why, because it’s been all about the hustle and continue to be all about the hustle. What better hustle than husltin’ in the name of the Lord? Tax-free money, loose bills, loose women and a degree of gullability and vulnerability. Shid, if you got the right preach game, then you can get in on it too. The funny thing is that that revenue stream will never dry out….
by the way, like the old saying goes: Once you control the mind, the body won’t be far behind. You think I’m lying, I’m actually looking at an example going on right now down here in Louisiana.
Like someone said about car mechanics, you pay for what you don’t know. I bet you won’t listen to someone else go on about this is the way you play madden or this is the way you wear your hair…knowing good and damned well what works for you and what feels right in your heart….
Oh Yeah, Kirk..i think this makes me a blog-whore.
NEWS FLASH: CONCERT IN HELL UP
Luther “Uncle Luke” Campbell, 2 Live Crew, Ozzy Osborne, the cast from the first College Hill season,Marilyn Manson and everybody responsible for the making and popularity of jersey dresses will be in attendance.!!!!!!!!
For those of you keeping track, Carrot Top, Gilbert Gottfried, and all of the Blue Collar Comedy guys have signed on as non-musical acts for the Concert in Hell. Even so, it can’t possibly be as bad as Lollapalooza in any given year, assuming of course that we’re talking about a year where they didn’t have to close up shop for lack of ticket sales. Any concert involving Perry Farrell/Jane’s Addiction is Hell in and of itself…
The Concert in Hell is hilarious! I hope the show is good. I know some people that have box seats with Hitler and W. Meanwhile, here’s my two cents on organized religion: Everything is political. Read up on the history of the Bible, if you have a month or two to kill. Political rulers had more to do with what went in it than men of the cloth.Do I believe there is a God? Yes. Do I believe (S)He had anything to do with the writing of the good book? Not on your life. Be careful of those people that can quote you scripture for every occasion, my mom says. The devil knows the Bible backwards and forwards too.And if you’ve NEVER questioned organized religion, read The DaVinci Code. Besides actually living up to the hype, it’ll soothe your conscience about missing a few hellfire and brimstone sermons on Sundays.