Business…today, I’ve got a piece at the ESPN on Michelle Wie turning pro. Were this presented in a graduate economics class, I would be discussing her through the prism of profit maximization, loss minimization, and the vagaries of conditional expectations. Since it’s here, I just talked about what might or might not be. In the end, economics is just common sense.
Speaking of common sense, who’s gonna be dumb enough to go to Joe Jackson’s hip hop boot camp?
I assure you that link is real. Just like this link to Joe Jackson’s German fan club.
I assure you that link is real, also.
So, what’s gonna go on at Joe Jackson boot camp? First, what’s Joe know about rap? Well, there’s little reason to believe Jimmy Iovine knows more about rap than Joe. After all, Jimmy’s production track record is with artists like Patti Smith (she of “Horses” fame). Should it matter that Joe hasn’t done anything worth mentioning, save for tours, since the mid-seventies? Of course not!
Why not? Because there is so much humor to be had from Joe Jackson hip hop boot camp. Straight up, if you’re in New York and can attend, please do and let me know what the scene is like. I’ll seriously consider paying someone to check that out. You can’t make up stuff that good.
And trust, I’ve made up a lot of stuff to provide myself entertainment, but nothing like this. This will easily trump that time me and Sid told this girl in high school that I was really Bo’s twin brother Patrice. Nope, not making that up.
Well, I made up the story, but the story I’m telling about the story is real. Yes, who’s on first and what’s on second.
So, does this mean the Phil Spector Boy Band Retreat is coming soon? How ’bout punk rock taught by Perry Como? Who wouldn’t wanna learn to dance like MC Hammer from Little Richard?
New Jack Swing by James Brown? I’d sell my car to get a ride to that. Wait a minute…
9 thoughts on “Learn to rap from Joe Jackson”
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Hey:
Nice piece today on Michelle Wie. I don’t always agree with what you have to say (like that matters…) but I appreciate your perspective. And on this, you’re dead on.
Take care.
>Joe Jackson’s hip hop boot camp?
That just CANNOT be real. Either way we should link to it.
Bomani, this is classic: ‘Before he began writing full-time, Bomani Jones earned a master’s degrees in economics from Claremont Graduate University and the University of North Carolina. The paltry sums he earns from writing indicate he did not learn that much, but they qualify him to discuss how people get rich. Tell him how you feel at bomani@bomanijones.com.’
It is my personal opinion that people, ESPECIALLY sports fans spend entirely too much time making life -altering decisions for other people. Who should retire…who should come out and go pro…who should take less money to stay in Pittsburgh, Seattle, Milwaukee, etc…who likes to talk to the press and who would rather mind their business.
Here is a thought. Watch the game or not. root for the folk you want or not.
Above all, remember you are watching people WORK THEIR JOB. unless you want folk razzin you while youre shufflin insurance claims, or going over the times tables with some 8 yr old crumbsnatchas, stay on YOUR side of the curtain. And this is from a dude who writes for a Steelers Fan Club.
Just sayin…you dont MAKE the game..you just watch it.
I agree with just about everything you’ve got going, but I must say that everybody and they mama tries to tell me how to do my job. Just part of the game. I just hope folks tell folks to do their jobs the same way they’d do their own.
I’m assuming that the last comment is meant in reference specifically to the Wie piece on ESPN. If so, there’s one problem. This isn’t a question of how someone does their job, it’s a question of if they choose to do it in the first place. Wie could go on playing as an amateur her entire life, and nothing anyone says would matter. However, once she turns pro, she is doing so with the knowledge that she is subjecting herself to the scrutiny and criticism that comes with those fat checks. Because, like in any other profession, people expect a return on their investment. So, if someone (Phil Knight for instance) isn’t happy with the return, he has every right in the world to speak up, because it’s his money in part that allows Wie to golf for a living rather than selling pencils from a cup on the street corner. As you move down the food chain, fans have the same right. The difference maker is that fans have less money in it, so people pay less attention to them. They have a minority ownership stake at best, so to speak. Either way, there’s no chance that someone can make that much cash and be in the public view that often, and not expect to hear some criticisms or opinions now and then.
Besides, no Steelers fan in the world can possibly tell me they never once asked the question out loud “Who in the hell decided Kordell Stewart could be a quarterback?”
Great article. There are no guarantees in life other than republicans lie and death always wins. Wie should go pro simply for the sake of securing her financial future. Who gives a shit if she never gets any better? It’s golf. It’s not a team sport. She won’t have any team members to let down because she didn’t wait long enough to mature for the game. Take the Nike check, play the tournaments, travel the country. School can wait. Enjoy yourself and get paid huge sums of cash because you can play a torturous Scottish sport. Besides…. it’s only golf.
Not to get off topic, but if you’ve never seen Robin Williams’ standup routine on golf from a few years ago, then go forth and be entertained.
Besides, even if Wie fails at golf, she can always start a Korean Hip Hop Boot Camp.
A. the comment had nothing to do with the article per se…just the thoughts of a man who tries to follow sports closely…yet objectively.
B. This isn’t the forum to debate the relative merits of Kordell Stewart as NFL Quarterback, but since you brought it up…
Kordell became the starter by default…Cowher handed the job to Jim Miller in 96 with Mike Tomczack the backup and Kordell third…through injuries and general malaise…Kordell rescued the team in 97 when Tomczack got his 85th concussion and never looked back. In his first year as a starter he posted these numbers:
1997 236 Completions in 440 attempts 3020 yds. 21 Tds 17 Interceptions 88 rushes 476 yards 11 TDs
Now I am not comparing him to Bradshaw or Marino or McNabb or MacNair..or even Vick…but the REALITY is he was the BEST QB we had until they rescued Tommy Maddox from the XFL. And if Chan Gailey had STAYED as the Offensive Coordinator instead of following the money down to Dallas to preside over the demolition of the Cowboys dynasty of the 90s…Kordell would have grown more as a QB. He went through 5 coordinators in 6 yrs each more predictable and ineffectual and lost every decent player on Offense through a variety of reasons EXCEPT for Bettis…but as I recall saying, this aint my dime.
Joe Jackson Boot Camp for Rappers. I cannot breathe.