New York…

…skyscrapers and everything.
For some reason, I feel compelled to say that every time I come here. But today it was really timely for me.
Something about this place makes me feel like I’m from Mars and visiting South Central. Just always outta water. Why? Because I’m Southern, and so much of this place just seems strange for me. For example, I walked a second ago from my brother’s place to get a slice. Got to the place and, luckily, I got a phone call that I had to step out and take.
Why the luck? Cuz I couldn’t figure out where the damn line started.
In the South, there’s lots of space at eating establishments. Even Johnny’s Catfish or Willie T.’s Ribs has got enough room for an orderly single-file line.
Man, I walked up into this lil’ eatery and had no idea what to do. I saw a cash register, but I saw no semblence of order otherwise. I sincerely couldn’t figure out how to order pizza. And before you get to askin questions, everything on my bio is true. No O’Leary.
(Goodness, I finally capitulated to the “no (insert word here)” craze.)
What else has happened since I got here? Well, I had to catch a cab from the airport to the apartment. Got in with a lovely gentleman who asked if I was going to Manhattan. I said yes and gave him the address. He then asked again if I was going to Manhattan, which prompted me to call my brother’s girlfriend to make sure I was going to Manhattan. She confirmed it.
So we get to riding and he asked me, “is it off the drive?”
Okay, it’s been established I’m in from out of town. In fact, I let this dude know I was in from out of town, even though I swore years ago to never let that known. After saying “I ain’t from ’round here,” your next line will probably be, “I got some more money in my jacket.”
But it was readily apparent that i wasn’t from here. So why is he hittin’ me with highway slang? Not even the hip hop slang I’m familiar with, but some damn highway lingo.
C’mon pimp. I’ll never understand how New York is full of various interlopers, but we always have to deal with people talking to us like we’re from here…even though these cats go out of their ways to pick on us for not being from New York.
But that ain’t all from the cabbie. So I told this dude the EXACT ADDRESS I was going to. He then asked for cross streets, which I had my brother’s ladyfriend pass on to him. Then I hear him say, “you’re just telling me a number. I need more than that.”
You need more than the damn address? Really? Would you like the coordinates?
Ugh.
Here’s the thing with me and New York. I’ve made a few trips to this bad boy, and none has been terribly unpleasant. My last two times up here were actually wonderful (though one was on the expense account of my patron for the weekend). The interesting part is that the last two times I came here were for work. When you’re here for work, the perpetual state of anxiety kinda fits. It doesn’t bother you because you’re part of the chaos. They’re rushing to get to the train and so are you. It’s not such a big thing.
I ain’t got nothin’ to do up here but kick it, catch up with KG and stay outta trouble. That’s it.
So these folks looking all stressed and all that is just messing up the little vibe I try to carry myself with. It’s just not kosher.
And it ain’t warm.
But I know I’ll probably be living here within 18-24 months. I better get used to it.
Now, to hit the streets to find my girlfriend one of those “I HEART NY” shirts. She likes it like that up here.
Well, she ain’t gotta worry about me tryin’ to borrow that shirt.
Which isn’t to say she ever has to worry about me borrowin her threads.  I’m just sayin…
Have a nice day.