Bomani Jones

So I was listening to the boPod this morning, trying to put a little pep in the step before the show. “777-9311” came on. As does just about anyone with a pulse, I claim “777-9311” as my jam. Well, one of ’em.
Anyway, I felt compelled for some reason to actually listen to the song. Hey man, there are few songs that flagrantly violate core principles and corollaries of The Code like this one.
Think about it…
1. Who’s that pressed about a phone number? So this song is written by Prince, performed by Morris Day…and you gotta hassle a chick for a number like that? Morris, why not cut straight to the chase and talk about your brass waterbed? Prince, shouldn’t you ask if you could…ummm, love the taste out of her mouth? “Can’t you see the agony I’m going through?” isn’t very becoming of the man that guided so many of us on how to spit this here game.
Then again…
2. Dude’s got the right idea. “I know I’m kind of fast, but I hate to waste time.” Really, why waste it? That’s pimpin’ right there.
Then again…
3. “I gots to be cooler than this cat you’re sitting with.” You better be bigger than dude, too. It reminds me of something poetic I once heard a dude in college say to a cat that started spittin to a woman he was speaking with at the time.
“Muthafucka, do you see me standing here?”
Simpin, all day long…but not as long as the hypothetical man sitting there that did nothing but get the cockeyed look. If he’d have knocked the perm out of Morris’ head, I bet the cops would have let it slide.
4. “Ain’t nothin’ worse than rejection.” Incorrect. Ain’t nothin’ worse than SIMPIN. Which, upon further review, is what’s going on here.
But I’ll still bump it. Every great soul singer was a simp and a half, pretty much. Save for James Brown. Even from the other side, I’m afraid to talk bad about the Godfather. He don’t know karate, after all.