Stop it, Kwame

This Kwame Kilpatrick is something.  A friend and I just got done discussing how long it will take Law and Order to do an episode based on his ridiculous story, one that must be the only situation that continually defies my concept of what someone is capable of (two-hour season premiere?).  And you must understand — at this point, I’ve read enough to realize nothing is out of the realm of possibility when someone is fighting to preserve an institution.
Especially when a man believes he is an institution in and of himself.
I’d love to link to something about Kilpatrick’s story, but I honestly have no idea where to begin.  I really don’t.  I can say, unequivocally, that Kilpatrick’s a clown.  I’m not going to say he’s seriously more corrupt than other corrupt politicians.  I’ll just say I have never read detailed information about one man’s dalliances and shaken my head as much as I have when seeing what this dude’s been doing.  Seriously, if you’re not up on his story, just put his name in Google News and have a ball.
In fact, here it is for you.  There.  A link.
This is all I’ll say — when a black man lays hands on a cop, you know he’s officially lost his damn mind.  I don’t care if you’re the mayor, Barack Obama or Meteor Man.  Kwame needs to be glad he’s still breathing.  Or, at the very least, able to breathe through his nose.
Now, Kwame’s got a defense for all of this — it’s The White Man’s fault.  It’s The White Man that’s setting him up to look like he’s trying to bankroll his whole crew, one that approaches the size of the entire Diaspora — but doesn’t include me, sadly — like he’s MC Hammer.  Except, in this case, he’s got a bigger budget to work with than Hammer did, and the money isn’t his.
Now, I’m all for blaming The White Man — not to be confused with white people, btw — when He’s at fault.  It’s gotten out of style to point at The Man, but I’m retro like that.
This isn’t that time, though.  Every time I hear that Kilpatrick is trying to blame these pickles he’s gotten in on some racist conspiracy, I have to tell myself that I don’t hear beeping in the background.  That’s because I’m not inclined to think like this…but that beeping sounds a lot like the race going in reverse.
(And no, I don’t really think like that.  It’s really that important to me that you understand that.  I just really like that line.)
There’s enough racism going that there’s no need to ascribe it where it isn’t.  It’s hard enough to get white people to acknowledge whose existence is incontrovertible.  The last thing anyone needs is you selling out legitimate struggle in a futile attempt to save your own sorry ass.  C’mon, dog.  Don’t do it to us like that.
Now, Kwame is just one liar.  He doesn’t represent all black liars, let alone black people.  The only thing he represents is himself, his family, and his payroll.  He means nothing to me.
That said, I’d feel remiss if I didn’t let him know that, since this cockamamie strategy isn’t going to work, he may as well leave the rest of us out of this.  Because, invariably, this is gonna bring the rest of us into it.  I don’t want to be in this.
Now, I do find it a bit interesting that there are so many white critics of Kilpatrick who are mortified by what he’s done to Detroit, seeing how so few white people actually live in Detroit, white people typically do not participate in municipal politics in cities where they are the minority, and how disinterested white folks have been in the city of Detroit for most of the last half-century.  I do see that and chuckle a bit.
I also see Kilpatrick and laugh to keep from crying.
I remember when he was running for Mayor in ’99.  ‘Twas my junior year in college, and some of the folks from Detroit were telling me about him.  Talking about him being a young guy, which was attractive to college students.  Didn’t mean much to me, but he had them excited.
Then it seemed he tried to put himself out there as the “hip hop mayor.”  I’m not sure why that would make anyone want to vote for him, but I think it worked.  He rode around town bumpin’ and on rims and all that fun stuff.  He balled.
Now, that isn’t necessarily hip hop.  Maybe it was Kilpatrick’s distorted view of hip hop.  Either way, he was a little too old to still be doing that.  When I was 19, I figured I’d be blasting bass when I rolled down the street for the rest of my life.  Now?  My amp went out on my 6x9s two years ago, and I haven’t thought about getting it fixed.  A little too old for that shit am I.
What’s really interesting about Kilpatrick is seems like he became mayor to support his idea of the “hip hop” lifestyle.  Sure, most politicians are in the game to support their lifestyles, but Kilpatrick was supporting a different lifestyle than most politicians.  His lifestyle was one of conspicuous consumption, putting on front street how he rolled because showing it off is part of the fun.  Balling out at clubs and shake joints on the city’s payroll?  Huh?
Showing off made it easy to catch this fool.
There’s a reason politicians lay low.  It’s because that keeps them out of trouble.  What Kilpatrick was doing?  Not so much.
Many talk about hip hop politics.  I’ve even written about it before.  But if Kilpatrick’s idea of “hip hop politics” were the model, there wouldn’t be many hip hop politicians.  They’d all be in jail after a week and a half in office.
So Kwame, man…just go away.  You got your people paid.  You balled.  And now, you’re done.
That’s the game.  Now it’s time to respect it.

7 thoughts on “Stop it, Kwame”

  1. Well done as usual…so much brilliance: “showing off made it easy to catch this fool”, “just go away”, “Kilpatrick’s a clown”, entourage “the size of the Diaspora”. You’re hilarious.
    You’re right, he should spare the race the embarrassment and salvage whatever remains of his reputation. Certainly within time, the “City Council” (I use the quotes to describe the farcical nature of their meetings) will certainly lower Detroit’s stature even farther. He’s young, maybe he can have a resurgence a la Marion Barry.

  2. Okay, when your daddy is shown sporting a diamond earring in a news article, that pretty much explains Kwame K. in a nutshell. (IF my people…which are called by My Name…)

  3. I lived in Detroit in Summer of 2001 when the entire Metro area was in the middle of Kwame-fever. His support was one that people seemed to be waiting to give to any young, enthusiastic Pol and it just so happened he was the wrong man, right time.
    The funny thing, is that he is THE CLOSEST thing to the The Man, himself. The last eight years have taught us that anyone can be a Telfon Don if they have a weak-kneed legislature cowering behind them. Cronyism? Destruction of public records? Cloak and dagger dealings? Sealed cases?
    Kwame couldn’t have done a better job mirroring the decline of the White House, Congress and Supreme Court. If he wants to blame anyone, blame Rove and GWB for enabling this culture of entitlement and disdain for our common law.
    Fuck him and anyone still supporting his practices.

  4. “Fuck him and anyone still supporting his practices” x 2.
    Kilpatrick is an ass-clown.
    I hope he wasn’t “bumping” in a residential neighborhood.
    I’m tempted to shoot out the windows of the idiots who do that.

  5. A little late on this but whatev:
    With all that money he was spending, he should have bought a couple seasons of the wire and took notes… sheeeeeeeeiiiiiiiit

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