Your Old Man Would Obliterate You

My man Brew City Drew left a comment saying that he’s too light on his feet for his old man.  He’d float like a butterfly and sting his pops like a bee.
Granted, I don’t know his pops, but I feel very certain that wouldn’t happen.  I’m 26.  My father is 70.  There is nothing so important–at least nothing that would ever happen–that would compel me to fight him.  Absolutely nothing.
Has your father even put his hands on your shoulders to make a point?  If so, did you notice how hard it was to do much more than breathe?  That’s a little somethign that my man Bobo referred to in his comment.  It’s called “old man strength.”  My brother told me about it, and it’s real as steel.  There’s something about living fo ra long time that’ll turn you into a linebacker when necessary.
And take that a step further.  One time, when I was young and stupid, I said something to my mother that made her inform me that she’d leave me “picking up my teeth.”  Keep in mind that my mother’s the nicest woman I’ve ever met.  Also keep in mind that she was probably dead on right.  Old woman strength is no joke either.
And you know what part of it is?  Your daddy is not letting you kick his ass.  It just ain’t gonna happen.  If you think a whipper snapper is going to beat up an old man without htat old man summoning strength from the ancestors, you just don’t understand.  Reminds me of a story a buddy told me.  He was a defensive lineman on a college team, and he got into it with his position coach.  Now, this dude is about 6-5, and he was at least 300 pounds then.  He said he and the coach started yelling at each other over something.
“Man, next thing I knew, he just came into the locker room and kicked my ass all over the place.”
I mean, he said this totally matter-of-factly.  No embarrassment, no nothing.  And you know why?  Because there’s nothing embarrassing about getting beat down by a grown man.  Ask Robin Ventura about that.
Seriously, let’s make this an episode of Maury.  Father/Son Boxing Matches.  Instead of folks settling things on the People’s Court, let ’em go handle it in the ring.  I guarantee you’d see more settlements than you knew were possible.