Funniest Fall You've Ever Seen

I got to talking to my man Clarence today, and he told me about seeing someone fall the other night that sounded like a Grade A, 5-star fall.
Got me thinking to the funnest falls I’ve seen.  I think I’ll rattle off my top 3.  Two of them were witnessed in TV, but I think they still count.
3.  My first year of grad school, I was minding my own business in a game theory class.  Our professor, who was a tad weird, was trying to navigate through a room where the tables were aligned around the room, leaving very little space to walk by the board but in front of the chairs.
Dude tried to make a turn around a tight corner.  I don’t know what he tripped over, but next thing I knew, he was heading forward.  Then, he began to balance himself by swinging his arms.  It worked…too well.  Next thing you know, buddy’s about to fall on his ass.  That’s better than falling on your face, though.  Then, out of the blue, he was back upright, writing greek letters on the board.
I was so torn, though.  I laugh when people fall.  That’s the rule.  But what about when it’s the professor…and the rest of the room–save for a gentleman named Kirk–isn’t wired to laugh?  Me and Kirk sat there fighting it so hard.  I laugh now thinking about it, just because I got cheated out of it then.
(Actually, there are way better ones than this…but they’re so hard to keep straight.  All that laughter’s bad for the memory.)
2.  Michelle Williams from Destiny’s Child on “106 and Park.”
Destiny’s Child’s just walking.  Minding their own business.  Then Michelle’s gone.  Disappeared.  Fell so fast that you’d think she was beamed up to the Enterprise.  Whoooo, that was funny.
And metaphorical.  Michelle’s way extra in that group.  Everyone knows it.  So when Beyonce and Kelly kept it going like nothing ever happened–which performers are supposed to do–it didn’t seem like them doing their jobs.  It felt like what we know they said every day–we don’t need this chick.
1.  I bet you can guess.
First time I saw this, I was in my bedroom.  I’d fallen asleep with the TV on.  Before i went to sleep, my brother told me of this fall.  I did not, however, expect to see at 2 in the morning when I just opened my eyes long enough to turn the TV off.  There it was–Bob Dole falling off a stage.  I laughed myself back to sleep.

21 thoughts on “Funniest Fall You've Ever Seen”

  1. You know, visuals always work better for me. Here’s one of Michelle’s classic fall Bomani mentioned:

    Notice how you can hear her hit the floor.
    Here’s Beyonce’s fall on another occasion:

    I believe she played it off a little better. That’s what we call leg strength!

  2. I also find falling hilarious, particularly when the person is okay. The best one was at work. One of my co-workers (who is in her 50s) reached a little too far under her desk and fell. Her chair fell on top of her. People in my department jumped up to help her and my boss and another co-worker were trying to pull her up. They couldn’t because she was wedged between the chair and the desk. I stood back knowing that I couldn’t help but hoping she was okay. She was fine and kept saying so. So I laughed and laughed and laughed. Once they moved the chair out of the way she got up just fine. We all still laugh about it to htis day.

  3. I always crack up when people fall. I can’t help it.
    Best one: my friend, drunk, fell down a long flight of stairs, kept his drink up in the air as he fell, didn’t spill a drop, got up at the bottom of the stairs and commenced sippin’. Perfect.

  4. Oh buddy…that Bob Dole fall was classic. Even funnier was that he came to speak at my high school a couple days later. We were clownin from the rafters in the gym.
    Here’s another one I didn’t tell you. So me and Kieran are in Salvador Brazil walking to the bus stop. We walk by a pretty nice clothing store that sells women’s athletic gear. There is an unfairly BAD woman inside so we are looking in the store as we walk by. Out of the corner of my eye I see a woman leave the register and walk towards the door…a spotless glass door. She gets closer and doesn’t slow her stride… Yep…she hit the glass door face first..never even saw it there. She hit it so hard that folk on the street stopped and looked in her direction. She fell backward and got up with a bloodied nose. I don’t remember what happened after that since I nearly died but I’m sure it was a combination of laughter, pointing, and sprinting in various directions. Twas classic.

  5. I even had a connection to #1…I lived in the town he hit the deck in.
    If you’ve never seen it, look for the clip of Kelsey Grammer falling off a stage. Side splitting funny.

  6. Left Coast Vic

    I might could come up with a Top 10 list of ME busting my ass, but I will share the latest and greatest moment in Vic stunt history.
    So its the first game of the local lawyer softball league last summer. You know the type, firms play other firms in what basically amounts to a pissing contest that takes place outside of court. So anyways, I am the new prospect for my firm. I play during the year, so I am quasi-legit at 2nd base. Some old dude wants to play second, so I get bumped to right. Never did like the outfield, not that quick and not that good at reading the ball.
    3rd Inning is when the magic happens. Stocky left-hander comes up. He pulled two balls foul down the right side last at bat, so I line up deep right in the power alley. Pitch, CRACK! Dude hits a seed my direction. I am super-hyped b/c I played the guy perfectly. A short sprint and should I be able to catch it on the run over my right shoulder and Ichiro the guy who is about 3/4 the way to 3rd.
    The games were played on the grassy fields of an elementary school. All sorts of gopher holes, not the easiest to run on.
    Here is what I remember: I take two hard steps and then I see the ground rushing to my face. I either tripped or hit a hole or something, but I totally ate shit. According to someone who saw the whole thing, the funniest part wasnt the fall. Apparently, while I am on my face on the floor, I looked up and tried to catch the ball while on the floor. It was described to me as, “a retard doing pilates.” I didnt make the play.
    If you need a visual, get on your stomach on the floor and try your damnedest to catch a fly ball. No good.

  7. I was at a party once in Chestnut Hill during some hurricane remnant that made it up past South Carolina. It was a wet night, people had been drinking heavily to stave off boredom and the host’s kitchen had those tiles that get real slippery when wet.
    So I camped myself in the kitchen with a few friends and just watched the action. None of the falls were all that funny until the host herself stopped in to get a bottle opener.
    While reaching past somebody, she slipped forwards and fell towards the counter. She turned her face. It wasn’t enough; the right underside of her jaw hit the counter with an audible thunk and I swear her neck bent at like a 90 degree angle. The whole kitchen went from party chatter to dead silent in about a half second.
    I saw the whole thing and was fully prepared to yell “Sommody call 911! Don’t move her head!” But she got right back up and partied on. During a recap to a friend, I used the phrase “Hospital-worthy fall” multiple times.

  8. My mom often tells the story of 4 year old me eating dirt in the park. It goes like this: “He saw me and his face lit up and he started running towards me. He’s building up speed and then all of a sudden he noticed a dog turd right in front of him. So he jumps OVER it, but jumps weirdly. He goes into this Superman flying pose and then just BAM! Face first into the grass.”

  9. Vic, people would pay good money for that kid of storytelling. “Retard doing pilates” is going to be my new description for absolutely everything.

  10. Rell, it was actually Miss USA, but yeah, that was classic. She was levitating too, a good foot of air was under her. I’d give her a 9.5 for execution. But her reaction wasn’t the best one, she should’ve played it up, I’m sorry. You don’t pretend a fall that spectacular didn’t happen. She should’ve rubbed her butt with an “Ow” expression or something. It would’ve gone a long way with the judges I think.

  11. Jen’s top 3 ass-bustin’ s through the ages:
    3. Cleveland, Spring 1981 – at a high school party, tripping in my 4″ high Candie’s mules in a striped minidress. It took so long to hit the floor, I had time to reflect on how stupid I must look. Amazing I did not break an ankle.
    2. Ithaca NY c. 1983 – walking around campus with a buzz on and a backpack with my boyfriend, also buzzed. Slipped in the snow and couldn’t get up because I was on my back and the backpack was in the way (kind of like a turtle on its back trying to flip over). Boyfriend was cracking up and no help. Totally not embarassing because with the hills at Cornell, everybody busted their ass at least a dozen times before graduating.
    1. Brand-new house, Cleveland Hts 1991 – going to work one morning I was running to close the garage door in the rain. All of the sudden, I hear this loud CRACK, like a bat hitting a home run. Next thing, my knees are bent and I’m trying to keep my balance. I had hit my head on the bottom of the raised garage door. I purposely fell on the ground and waited a minute in case the neighbors I had not met yet saw it and thought I was knocked out cold. Don’t think they did, no one ran out the house to see if I was alive. Seeing as they turned out to be nice people, and would have helped through their tears of laughter, they probably did not see it.

  12. I wish I had a specific one, but my own falls are pretty boring.
    The funniest falls are when people lose their footing going down stairs and their heads hit multiple (carpeted) steps on the way down. The specific thuds in rapid-succession is music to my ears.

  13. Not a fall but i did see two blind people bump into each other and neither knew the other was blind. I saw the hold thing as it was happening and wasn’t about to ruin it by saying something.

  14. circa 1984- Racing my brother and his friends to my mom’s sky-blue Maverick, wearing my a skirt and cowboy boots. I made it to the car first, and I stopped running. Problem is, my boots were slippery and they didn’t stop. I slid UNDER the car to my waist, skirt up over my head (no fun having road rash on your ass), with my feet hanging out from under the car on the other side– kinda like what the Wicked Witch of the West looked like once the house fell on her.

  15. Hey I know this is kinda a dead topic but I am like trying not to chuckle while reading two blind people bumping in to each other (at work). Anyway, I have another unrelated instance. I was 15 1/2 and I had just gotten my learners, I was driving my mom home when I saw my crush up the block. I tried to look pimp while driving my moms 86 Ford Tempo which was already a hopeless attempt, but I ice it off by running into my neighbors Town House. It was THE most embarrassing moment of my life.

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