No column entry this friday, but there will be two next week, I believe. Yeah, things are a tad tricky. But, you’ve got three days left to get ready for Valentine’s Day, should you care. I wrote a rather sappy joint a few years ago about Valentine’s Day. I find it to be an irrelevant holiday, but you learn to deal with it when your woman loves it, assuming you like to see her smile. If her grill’s bad and you don’t wanna see her teeth, it’s a different ballgame.
But, some of you have people and want to impress them with the music you choose. Some of you are at the crib, lonely as hell, and need something to either thwart or enhance that loneliness. So, that’s where me and Luther come in…
So, I’ve got a few lists for you to consider for the holiday. Luther has his own list (he’s such an angry guy). So, here we go.
Guaranteed
This list is money. Female tested, dude approved. If you play any combination of these songs and get nothing, you never will. It may be her, or it may be you. But if this doesn’t work, it will never be on.
Prince – Adore
Isley Brothers – Voyage to Atlantis
Art of Noise – Moments in Love
Silk – Lose Control
Marvin Gaye – Feel All My Love Inside
112 – Now That We’re Done
Janet Jackson – Any Time, Any Place
Curtis Mayfield – Give Me Your Love
R. Kelly – The Greatest Sex
Prince – When 2 R In Love
Teddy Pendergrass – Turn Off the Lights
Minnie Riperton – Inside My Love
Massive Attack – Weather Storm
Boyz II Men – 50 Candles
Bob Marley – Turn Your Lights Down Low
Tony!Toni!Tone! – (Lay Your Head On My) Pillow
Keith Sweat – How Deep Is Your Love
Isaac Hayes – The Look of Love
Barry White – Never Gonna Give You Up
Quincy Jones – Secret Garden
Out the Box
People wouldn’t think off top that these songs would set the mood, but they all tend to do a good job. More importantly, you might be able to play this list and it not look like you’re trying to get something cracking. That’s fantastic for those of you that operate on some stealth shit.
Devin the Dude – Briar Patch
Eightball and MJG – Space Age Pimpin
Funkadelic – Maggot Brain
Jimi Hendrix – Bold as Love
Jodeci – Freek’n You (remix, with Ghostface and Raekwon)
Lil Jon and the Eastside Boyz – Ohh Na Na
Three 6 Mafia – Sippin on Da Syrup (brilliant Marvin Gaye sample)
OutKast – Funky Ride
Lovage – Sex (I’m A)
Glutton for Punishment
This is for all you suckas for love. So, you’re at the crib and wish you had someone to snuggle with. You don’t want anyone to make you feel better. You want to wallow in your misery. This is for you. And if you really wanna snap out of it, this should make you get a fuckin grip and man up. No one likes someone pathetic, pimpin. No one.
Lenny Williams – Because I Love You
Derek and the Dominoes – Bell Bottom Blues
PM Dawn – I’d Die Without You
Manhattans – (Let’s Just Kiss and) Say Goodbye
Boyz II Men – Lonely Heart
Jodeci – Cry for You
Al Green – damn near anything, but How Can You Mend A Broken Heart
Simply Red – Holding Back the Years
Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes – I Miss You
Aretha Franklin – It Hurts Like Hell
Temptations – I Wish It Would Rain
Dru Hill – In My Bed
Lenny Kravitz – It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over
Bill Withers – Better off Dead
Prince – Still Waiting
Rose Royce – I’m Going Down
Prince – Gotta Broken Heart Again
Carl Thomas – Emotional
Macy Gray – I Try
Natalie Cole – I’m Catching Hell
Stevie Wonder – Never Dreamed You’d Leave in Summer
Jackson 5 – Never Can Say Goodbye
Recorded Courage
So you want your woman back, ha? But you don’t have the fortitude to go win her love back? Put these on, jack. That should get you ready to go knock on her door and get it crackin. But, before you do that, let’s make sure of a few things.
1. Are you sober? Never make such a decision drunk.
2. Is she on a date? Last thing you wanna do is give this speech to an audience. Beyond simply being shamed, that nigga might try to whoop your ass.
So, proceed with caution.
Otis Redding – Open the Door
Luther Vandross – I’d Rather
Bobby Caldwell – What You Won’t Do for Love
Stevie Wonder – We Can Work It Out
Freddie Jackson – Rock Me Tonight
Jackie Wilson – To Be Loved (only because it worked for Prince Akeem)
Wilson Pickett – In the Midnight Hour
Spinners – Workin My Way Back To You
Sly and the Family Stone – If You Want Me to Stay
Jodeci – Come and Talk to Me
Otis Redding – I’ve Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now)
Temptations – Since I Lost My Baby
Al Green – For the Good Times
(S)he Ain’t Shit No Way
It’s Luther D., baby. Look, If she quit you, you don’t want that heifer no way. Can’t be lettin them put you through hoops and shit, man. So, you need to man the fuck up and recognize that she ain’t nothin’ but drama. Put this on. Matter of fact, put this on and go somewhere she might be that night and just shoot her ugly looks. Works great.
But really, if you play this list, chances are you’re talkin more shit than you mean. At least this’ll help you save face. Better to be like this than like those Cap’ns listenin to Bo’s lists
Dr. Dre – B*tches Ain’t Shit (optional, based upon your personal decency)
Tony!Toni!Tone! – My Ex-Girlfriend is a Ho
Spin Doctors – Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong
After 7 – ‘Til You Do Me Right
Bobby Womack – If You Think You’re Lonely Now
Ideal – Get Gone
Lou Rawls – You’re Gonna Miss My Loving
Prince – I Hate U
Teddy Pendergrass – I Don’t Love You Anymore
Marvin Gaye – Is That Enough? (works best if you’ve got an ex-wife)
Jaguar Wright – The What Ifs
Jefferson Airplane – Somebody to Love
Ohio Players – I Wanna Be Free
Counting Crows – Holiday in Spain
Phil Collins – I Don’t Care Anymore
And just for you…And just for a different you…
5 Comments
by honey
I have to say, the 1st three on the “guaranteed list” do it for me, so the rest is just extra whip cream (or whatever edible you prefer) LOL. Briar Patch and Sippin on Da Syrup..who knew. Great List!
by Kirk
Man, you need to have a talk with this Luther dude. The man is gonna ruin your reputation if you keep letting him talk about some crazy shit like the Spin Doctors on here. I thank God almost daily that those guys dried up and went away when they did.
by Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction
Shiiiiiid…I can personally vouch for the majority of the songs on the BomaniJones.com “Guaranteed” list. My Baton Rouge, La.-based laboratory has successfully tested the results…(flashbacks of dorm rooms, 6×9 rugs and stolen cups from the cafeteria)…
you can also put down dopefien, i mean D’Angelo’s, “Untitled (How Does It Feel) to that Guaranteed list..
I have a suggestion for the (S)he Ain’t Shit List…how bout Lil Jon’s “Stop Fuckin’ Wit Me!,” or some good ol’ Bustdown (depending on your decency level, of course)
by Solomeen
I thought I was the only cat who was messin’ with Art of Noise on the “Moments in Love” tip. Worked surprisingly well back in the day. “Funny How Time Flies” by Janet Jackson also set things in motion.
I’ve also found that anything slow by the Isley Bros. should only be sold with a prescription, ’cause you’re gar-on-teed to get broke off something proper. “Between the Sheets” is blatant, but sometimes you just want to walk in through the front door and let shawty know whazzup.
On the other hand, I found solace in Wil Downing when I was trying to get over a beeyotch who wasn’t $#!t!!!! “I Go Crazy” is what I found myself playing over and over. “Someone Like You” by Darryl Hall can help mend a broken heart, too. And, of course, Sade’s “Somebody Already Broke My Heart” is always effective salve when you’re trying to get over some stuff. It bears saying that these are only to be played in the safe confines of your crib where NO ONE ELSE CAN HEAR. Otherwise, you run the risk of lookin’ like a spanked-@$$ in front of your boys–and that garden tool, should she bring her triflin’ beehine to your place to pick up her stuff.
“How Soon We Forget” by Colonel Abrams–yeah, you heard me–can also be effective in helping to work out the pains brought on by being a sucka for love.
Just remember: It takes a fool to learn that love don’t love nobody.
by C-Dogg
I am not a big Eric Benet fan, but “When you Think of Me” should definately be added to the (S)he Ain’t Shit No Way list. This one gets the “Black Man Who Has Been Done Wrong” stamp of approval.
Also consider:
* UNV’s “Something’s Going On” – An old school hybrid song. Half begging, half telling a heifer off.
* Ideal’s “Get Gone” – Not the greatest song in the world, but it gets the point across.