The Fun From Today

Well, it’s Thursday.  My Saturday.  Spent most of it hanging with the fiancee, but I eventually had to get out of here to go eat.  Decided to get some BBQ, but I wanted to get some Turtles on the way.
The gas station on the way to the barbecue joint I hit for lunch didn’t have Turtles, so I went to the one down the road.  That’s the one I don’t go to at night because there’s a chain link fence to one side of it that’s never locked, and once some dude scared the shit out of me popping up from back there, with a hood over his head, asking if I wanted to buy some DVDs.
But I went in today because, as anyone that knows me would tell you, I love Turtles.  Got there and realized that they didn’t sell Turtles.  Super disappointing, man.  I was really looking forward to those Turtles.
Got some gum instead.  Got in line, and I was behind someone buying a loosie.  Now, that should tell you I’m in the hood now.  Loosies, baby.
So he gets the loosies on top of something else, and I notice something on the cash register–it rang up $0.35 and “NPRTS.”
It hit me.  These dudes have a button on the cash register for loosies.  Couldn’t make that up if I tried.

26 thoughts on “The Fun From Today”

  1. OK this might sound super dumb but what in the hell are Loosies??…and when you say “Turtles” are you talking about the chocolate candies??….I hope this doesn’t sound too “white”………….

  2. A loosie is someone who’ll sleep with her father, but not her brother. Because daddy has a trailer with his name on it, and a girl needs financial stability. So then her brother calls her a loosie.

  3. That’s a good one. People selling loosies on the street, though–that’s serious. Also folks standing in the middle of the street selling bottled water, towels, and socks to passing cars.
    Who the hell buys towels from somebody in the middle of the street?

  4. Dude, there’s so much going on in my mind from this post and comments.
    I don’t do turtles too well. I love Katydids, but them joints are so hard to find out West.
    I was dying laughing at the scene I played out in my head of the DVD man scaring you. I was just went home to DC a couple weeks ago and immediately noticed how hood some suburbs had become. A DVD man came up to me and my dad STRONG while we were in the parking lot of a mall in the richest black county in the country getting. HILARIOUS.
    Sreet hustling is at another level where I’m from (which is why I never understood the “black people are lazy” joint – but that’s another post), yet I still didn’t realize what a loosie was until the end of the post. I guess all the smokers I grew up with were so serious about it that one cigarette wasn’t going to do the job.
    And AJ, “They want Efx” is in my head AT LEAST once a month. At least.

  5. eauhellzgnaw,
    Stop hating on the Bubbles of the world. When I was young before he left for suburbia, that dude pushing the cart filled with all types of stuff was the man. LOL

  6. I have run across this phenomenon before. You go to some gas stations in DC and Baltimore and they have it programmed into the register. Some even have it rigged so that it does it without charging tax others I have seen charge tax. I was like wow. They charging tax on loosies. Somehow to me at least something was off about charging for it. Before it was a dime maybe a quarter but they didn’t charge you tax on a loosie. And Ashley because you are white, if you have no black friends to ask go to At least you might not get embarrassed again as much before you ask a question here.

  7. ETS,
    Glad to see someone else repping D.C.
    PG County has dropped because all the DC people getting pushed out by regentrification are moving in. For those of you not from D.C., P.G. county is the richest majority black county in America. It’s hilarious because all the “rich” black people are now complaining about all these “new” black people moving in, making the place hoody and bringing drugs and crime. Now there’s talk that there will be a “black flight” in P.G. County to Howard and Charles county in Maryland to get away from the new group of black people moving in. This is an example of Chris Rock’s “Black people vs. niggas” argument I guess.

  8. Granted, I may not be the authority on these things, as on the range of skin tones, I fall somewhere near “clear”, but I don’t think Ashley being white was what made the question sound dumb. The problem is that she actually ASKED if it sounded dumb because she was white. No Ashley, it sounded dumb because it was dumb.
    ETS and smokedog, don’t forget about the rest of us in the neighborhood. I’m living that hard Fairfax County life. Thanks for the spare change.

  9. I got your back Ashley! I had no clue what a loosie was until a few years ago when I spent some time in CT. I’m repping PG (1975-93) also and I don’t EVER remember seeing or hearing about them.
    To paraphrase- “It’s not a black thing, it’s not a white thing…it’s a ghetto thing.”
    And I STILL have no idea what a Turtle is…

  10. Why are my earliest memories going to the liquor store where we would buy Now ‘a Laters, chili fritos, with the chili being made in a crock pot on the counter, while the adults bought “squares”, which is what we call Newports in LA. Only in the neigborhood can you buy squares one at a time.

  11. Loosies…shid…when I used to smoke an occasional black-n-mild..they convenience stores had a button that run up “Black-n-Mild 0.85″…
    Whenever there’s a button for loose tobacco products on the register…it will tell you two things…
    1. You’re in a hood
    2. Watch yourself at all times. Don’t just roll into town and dap your boy off in front of some strange convenience store. Y’all gotta hurry up out that jurnt before you might get got. (inside joke).
    By the Way: Loosies—That’s what they’re for. That’s how they’re used.

  12. Well, I knew I lived in the hood when I was in the Chinese place and dudes had a little place in the wall to hold their weed. The owners didn’t bat an eye when they came to pick it up either (likely they had a cut of the profits).

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