Business…let’s all laugh at Lamar Thomas’ monologue on TV, shall we?
Further, here’s a glimpse at how I became the sorta guy I am today. I sent my brother a copy of the draft of this piece a couple of days ago. I do that from time to time because his job is has blocked espn.com. Anyway, he then responded with his own Lamar moment, this being based on the hilarious mollywoppin Jerry Stackhouse gave Jeff Hornacek in 1995 or 1996. I can’t find a clip online, so just ask someone about it if you haven’t seen it. Anyway, Mumba J. drops the following pearl.
I don’t know why y’all trippin. That was pure comedy son. Hornacek ran up on my man with no plan. Buddy looked like he thought he was gonna have a close up conversation. Stack was like, just what I needed., Tak, tak, Bow!! Just like justifiable homicide, free shots. You can’t turn that down just cause the cat runnin’ up on you ain’t really gon throw. Free shots man. Hard to come by at the U, cause everybody is down to throw dog. Everybody.
And yes, I am such a typical little brother. How did you know?
Right fast, something interesting’s going on here in rap music. Fabolous got locked up the other day on a weapons’ charge. The reports on that have listed his age as 28.
Interestingly, no one’s made a peep about this. I say that because his people have kinda been careful about making sure people didn’t realize he was too damn old to be rappin’ like that. I’m friends with one of this cousins, and I once asked her how old he was. Her response was that she’s signed paperwork that precludes her from sharing that. I doubt she actually signed something, but that’s nothing you can tell a writer. Understood there. But she did give it a way when she talked about what a Big Daddy Kane fan he was, which isn’t something you hear too often about someone from the age range he’s been kinda purported as being.
Now, when Lil Wayne got locked up not too long ago, we found out that he was much older than previously thought. The word was that he was 16 when he did stuff on 400 Degreez. That would have made him a couple of years older than me. I don’t remember exactly what the numbers were, but he’s actually older than me.
And no one cared.
It’s actually a pretty big deal with Weezy because much of the hook with him has been precociousness. We compare him with Tip because they’re supposedly the young guns in this rap thing, the two cats that’ll take the South into the future. But uhhhh, Weezy ain’t that young, really.
But really, no one cared a lick about either. I’m not sure what to make of that, but I found it to be rather interesting. All that care was taken to misrepresent these dudes ages…and they ain’t even have to do all that.
Why on earth do people lie about their age? What’s the benefit? I can’t even comprehend why this happens. Is because rappers like jail-bait? And now someone’s probably get all pissed about it and do some nonsensical bullshit. Hip-hop culture, America! Embrace it.
I left out an ‘it’ in there. Sorry.
I’m really struggling with typing today.
Hey Bomani! Look it worked for Prince (fudging on the age thing), so why not?
Click on that. That’s my main man, Weezy F. He’s 26. He rocks shit like he really was born in ’82 though.
I don’t really think it matters how old these guys are. I mean, it’s not like people are going to refrain from buying Jay’s new record just cause he’s 36 or whatever. I think the age just matters for up-and-comers, not those who are already established.
No one wants to here someone who is 32 drop a debut album and claimin’ they’ve been hustlin.’ You know, if they had really been hustlin’ it wouldn’t have taken ’em until 32 to get a deal and some promo. I think that’s the logic there.
But in any case, to be 28 like Fab or 26 like Weezy and be rich and famous at the same time?? That’s still far better than the average American. I don’t care for fame at all, but who wouldn’t like to be even 30 with over a million in the bank? By this country’s standards, you are still young and successful. Hell, by any country’s standards.
At first, I wasn’t sure that that Weezy information was accurate. But its true that he’s much older than he’s been telling us?
I guess the thing that surprises me is that people who lie about their age get away with it so much. Where are all the people they knew from school, church and the hood before they made it big to burst their bubble?
Nowadays rappers are getting to be like models, 25 and they wanna run you off to the nursing home.
There aren’t too many folk in our age group who actually BUY music. not enough to keep the industry satisfied. These young kids act like once you turn 26 you cease to matter.
It is not an accident that ALL the artists whining about their labels not backing them are ALL a good bit over 30 (LL, Method Man, the Roots, and now Janet Jackson)
Teenaged fans drive a great deal of pop music in general, but rap specifically has become marketed more toward kids. Now, anything before 1998 is “old school.”
Labels don’t think that new rappers can sell unless they look young, appropriate youth styles and talk about vapid shit.
Even a giant like Jay Z, who is pushing 40, is ridiculed as an old man by Camron, who’s not a teenager himself. For younger fans, Jay Z–not to mention De La Soul, Slick Rick, Face, Wu Tang, and the like–is irrelevant…or soon will be.
I admit that I found it hilarious when Stackhouse banked Honacek, but I hate the Jazz.
Damn, I mean Weezy is 27 now. I got some fuzzy math going on myself.
I’m laughing so hard at your column that I have tears in my eyes. Who knew that ol’ Nolan had it in him? But after years of the Army and karate, I can honestly say that it’s the old men who scare the crap out of me. If you’re under 35? Screw you. If you can remember Vietnam? I’m running in the opposite direction. Too bad you can’t do a WWLS once a month or something, because I have a feeling that man would have a whole lot to say (FIFTEEN YARD PENALTY MY ASS!!!!!) about what’s going on in this sports world of ours.
Yeah LiL Wayne is somewhere about that age .. If I find my McMain high school Yearbook from like 93 I think he was either in the 9th or 10 grade at that time.
In his defense alot of time the record companies want them to lie to appear younger. A friend of mine and another former classmate are in the gospel group Trinitee 5:7 and I keep seeing articles that list them as 26 and 27 which is complete b.s. since I have known one them since the 1st grade and I just turned 30. I’ve asked her family about it and they say the record company asked them to do it. Who knows? What the heck is wrong with being over 25 anyway. It took me forever to turn 30 and now I am looking forward to 35 baby.