Another great one from the young cynic. No, Mike Arceneaux, not me.
For real, any editor reading this, give this dude some work. I’m not even playing. Though only on the blog, I’ve seen the progress he’s made in about six months or so. He’s got something going for real.
Today’s target is that damn Pat Robertson. If you haven’t seen it, you wouldn’t believe it if I told you about it.
I just wanna know this–for God to spend this much time talking to Pat Robertson, it makes me wonder if the phone company doesn’t offer Caller ID in heaven. Really, wouldn’t you dodge Pat Robertson’s calls?
Or maybe God is taking Pat’s calls and just loves to tell him anything.
“*Shoot* Hi, Pat. Yeah, I know the hurricane was terrible. Yeah, I bet you need some strength. Why did I do this? Ummm, ’twas that little blond chick, man. The one that used to deal with Anne Heche. Yeah, blame it on her. I hear she had Kanye on the other day, too. Yes, Pat, I’m glad it’s clear to you. But that’s what I’m here for–I’m God. Yeah, bless you, too.”
(God hangs up phone. Immediately after, all the apostles start laughing. Jesus asks, “do you remember when he ran for President?” while trying not to pass out from laughing. Even Mary-Magdalene gets a chuckle or two.)
“I wonder if I can get him to start making calypso records,” God says before threatening Ma Bell with a plague if they can’t get him a Caller ID box yesterday.
11 thoughts on “Really, Does God Answer Pat Robertson's Calls?”
Leave a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
That’s a spoof – http://www.snopes.com/politics/katrina/robertson.asp
Robertson didn’t actually say Degeneres was to blame for Katrina.
No one ever said I read close. Oh well…let’s laugh like this is real, ha?
But how sad is it that it was that believable?
Still pretty damn funny–and I thought it was real too.
For what it’s worth, after Robertson asked for more Supreme Court vacancies, God went and offed Rehnquist, so God throws him a bone every now and then.
I hope it isn’t God throwing him a bone. That fucker – Robertson, that is – thinks the State Department should be nuked.
I still believe Pat said that about Ellen- have you heard some of the other things he’s said?
The only thing funnier than him saying it…is him being such a crackpot that we can believe he said something THAT off the wall at all.
It is just SO easy to swallow. And i wouldnt be surprised if he THOUGHT it anyhow.
> “I wonder if I can get him to start making calypso records,” > “I wonder if I can get him to start making calypso records,”
yo i’ma sample the furrykahn calypso tapes and make some hot beats
think he’ll sue me for clearance royalties?
you know he owns his own masters…
You are right. Arceneaux is the shyte!! I started reading him a few months ago after seeing his link on your blog. He did a story a few months back about his brief stint as a vegetarian.
This brought back HBCU po’ college student memories.
I’ve known Mike since our middle school days, he’s always been quite the character good to see he’s putting it towards good use.
“I wish Jesus would take a sabbatical to slap all these false prophets with his dick to get some perspective.” LMAO…